christmas blues

**Cyndie32** · 12-24-2011 04:51 AM

i am fighting the christmas blues and i am losing. i woke up this morning to tears. i have plenty of things to be thankful for but i also have plenty of things to be sad about. there is more negative in my life, in the world, than there is positive. i am clinging to the only bright spot i have right now and thats my hubby. but it's not enough. my job, my son's, my parents, my newplan, the economy, the state of the union, ALL horible. how can i be at peace when most of my world is, i don't know, in turmoil. how do i put away the pain? how do i make it stop? im gonna go exercise and try to burn off some of this stress. i hate christmas. tis the season to be jolly, my behind.

**Aeryn Sun** · 12-24-2011 10:29 AM

Don't feel bad, this entire month royally sucks for a lot of people! Past deaths, financial instability, world issues, holiday expectations and lack of sunshine or increased weather can all add into not so jolly season.
I myself have been stressed beyond belief, and I think keeping chocolate available 24/7 may be the only reason I haven't caused harm to anyone lol!

I would suggest not watching the news. Focus on the immediate world/community that you do have access to.
Get enough sleep.
Drink Green tea or eat chocolate with 60%cocoa or higher.
Spend 30-60min alone doing something stress relieving every day; Workout, hot shower, sauna, hot tub, watch a comedy, do a Sudoku puzzle.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 12-24-2011 10:31 AM

Hello dear.

First, let me whomp you upside the head to get you back into reality (a love tap only though...haha

). Christmas isn't making you sad. You're making you sad and you're using poor old Christmas as an excuse. There are things you can control and things you cannot. Every single thing you mentioned aside from "my job" is totally 100% out of your control.

i have plenty of things to be thankful for but i also have plenty of things to be sad about.

Indeed. And this will ALWAYS be the case. We were never promised ALL good. Because we are imperfect humans...we need both good and bad to help us keep things in perspective. You did not get to be a strong, witty, intelligent, empowered woman who has totally transformed her physical health by having everything go your way.....did you?

No...you struggled, you pushed, you perservered and you learned to appreciate the valleys even while standing on top of the mountains. Being able to appreciate the valleys is true strength Cyndie.

I'm sick as a dog on Christmas Eve. And I'm not thrilled about it. Matter of fact I've been wallowing in my own little pity party all morning, crying like a big snotty baby. Telling myself "You worked SO hard for SO many months for that darn test so you could enjoy your two week vacation, and then you get sick and spend it miserable. You poor sad pitiful thing!! Why are you so unlucky?" And then there's "my Pa is spending his first Christmas in a crummy old nursing home without family. My brother cares more about his trashy skank of a girlfriend than he does for my mom or me. My moms sister blackball her and that really hurts my feelings." But, I've quickly realized that the only one attending my pity party is me, and it kinda sucks partying alone....so I'm moving past it and am now saying to myself "Well hey....if you're gonna be sick, at least you're off work and can rest and be lazy... and at least it's a viral cold and not some life threatening illness". And all those other things......TOTALLY out of my control.

Now, here's for tough love.... If you want to be miserable this Christmas, then tuck yourself under the covers and do it. But take responsibility for it as YOUR choice to be miserable, not that of your sons, your parents, the economy, the state of the union, etc. I have quoted this many times, and think it applies here: "If I could tell the world just one thing it would be, that we're all okay. And not to worry, cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. I won't be made useless, won't be idle with despair. I'll gather myself around my faith, it's light the darkness most fears."

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-24-2011 01:03 PM

Ahh BD, we so think alike

There is in-deed only one person that can make you happy, that's you.. The rest is as BD stated, out of your control, nothing you can do about it and it doesn't matter because, you, are all that's important and those that are in-sink with the now, with you...

So go and have yourself a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS with YOU

And your husband...

**Cyndie32** · 12-25-2011 06:31 AM

thanks everyone. my funk... my pain.... my self pity..... it is all in my head. i am trying to change my thoughts and for some reason i keep coming back to wallow in the self pity. i know what the problem is... it's me.... but how do i stop the automatic return to the pity. i have been trying to keep busy and that helps but it seems as soon as i become idle the racing thoughts return. i have tried my usual techniques to feeling better and they are not working. exercise, yelling at the top of my lungs, singing my favorite song as loud as i can, swinging as high as i can on the swing, writing down my feelings, and rubber band snapping as a form of behavioral modification. none have worked. i know that my world for the most part is out of control and quite honestly that is a lot of my problem. it is not right that i have to pay for others decisions. its overwhelming. but i know, "If worrying about it won't fix it???? Why bother???" I know this, but my head won't stop.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 12-26-2011 07:24 PM

Love...I want you to do something for me.

Get yourself a copy of "A New Earth - Awakening To Your Lifes Purpose" by Eckhart Tolle...and read your little heart out. I couldn't recommend this book to EVERYONE, because it requires someone with an open mind and free way of thinking. But I know you well enough to know that you're someone who can truly absorb it and learn from it. This is one of those life changer books that sets a lightbulb off that will never again go out. And I truly believe it would benefit you right now.

**jns** · 12-26-2011 08:34 PM

Cyndie, I'm not sure if you downhill ski, but if you do, I would say go skiing. It is a fair amount of exercise and to do it good takes concentration, thus pushing the dark thoughts from your mind. If you do it on a sunny day, even better as the sunshine will help you be less depressed, too.

**Cyndie32** · 12-27-2011 07:17 AM

thanks, bd, i just purchased it today. hope delivery is speedy! and thanks for the suggestion jns but i don't know how to ski and the nearest slopes are hours away.