Ugly personality Strange feeling how to change?
Hi, all!
I am 20 years old and feeling strange these days.
This strange feeling bother me and its negative feeling.
Recently, feel that I became ugly personality.
I feel ugly when
• Irritate or upset with people (family) -
when I feel they speak a lot (somehow when there are at my right side I feel more)
• Misunderstandings or Judgement -
Feel a lot of people judging me even they are not.
Or argue that they judge me. (alike damage delusion)
• Comparing myself to something and feeling I am the bad one -
I know myself hating comparing and trying to be fair.
Not doing to others but doing to myself. Thought this irritate me and effecting to my behavior.
• My behavior became rough -
Not very polite, its maybe rude not enough thanks.
....etc
I have strange complicated feeling right now, therefore its bit difficult to explain.
But knew this is strange because its first time and I kind of disgust since I hate and always not trying to be like those.
Always trying to be fair and not judgmental (except some basic judgmental for my safety or knowledge)
Or just simply trying to have much more wide view.
I believe my little behavior and thoughts can effect. Another word, those behaviors and thoughts of good should be pile or accumulate for become good person.
Usually, able to figure out myself from changing behaviors.
However, I feel struggle or can't see the way clear since vague reasons and feelings.
Or another hand this is temporarily.
And my question for here is,
If there are any ways to clean these from my mind or changing.
or if there are ways to detox or reset my mind.
I am sorry for such a simple question that even I should solve myself or the selfishness!
Although, I would be happy to hear experiences and ideas!
Thank you,
Are you feeling like this at all times, constantly? Or are you feeling like this at different times, but sometimes feeling okay?
Are you taking any form of hormonal birth control?
I'm wondering if what you're feeling is hormone related, to your menstrual cycle. But that also your OCD is playing a factor and your desire to "control" every situation is causing part of it.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
Hi Beautiful Disaster,
Thank you for your quick reply!
I feeling this not all the times but its frequent or maybe when I remind or realize start to care more.
But sometime its okay since I don't have these behaviors all the times, I think.
Not taking birth control related things,
but related to hormone I think will have period within 2-3 days.
For OCD these days I have bit more strong one.
Do you think this is is more caused because of hormonal changes or OCD?
If you are not taking hormonal birth control, that means you are expericing a regular menstrual cycle every month. This is includes your ovulation AND your period. I have discovered that on some months I am very moody around ovulation time and ALSO right before I start my period. During both of these times your hormones are changing. It could certainly be making a difference in how you feel about things and towards others. There are times during PMS and ovulation that I feel like I simply can't tolerate the sound of a persons voice for a second longer. Or I may even loathe the thought of my boyfriends touch. When I am NOT experiencing this hormonal surges, I do not feel that way at all. So perhaps this is part of what you're experiencing. It might be a good idea to start journaling and keeping track of your feelings. Then compare that to your menstrual cycle and see if during those times you are feeling more moody and more volatile.
I don't think the OCD is "causing" the feelings you're having, but it's probably adding to it and making the feelings worse.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
Hi,
Thank you for your reply again.
I never tried journaling for check my feelings - moods changes.
And it would be great idea to start to see things objective with menstrual cycle. (Period and Ovulation)
Thank you for suggestion and advices
I will try this from now.
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