I am 36 years old and have no self-esteem. I've been divorced for 6 years. I've got a beautiful 10 year old daughter....but I just absolutely hate myself!!!! Only had one boyfriend, and guys don't even look at me cuz I look so awful, they probably know I hate myself. I try to see the positive things, but I just can't. I don't understand how I could have such a beautiful and smart little girl when I'm such a loser! My mother never taught me how to stand on my own two feet so I have trouble making decisions...I'm afraid of everything.

I hope there's somebody out there that feels the way I do.

you are 36,
maybe it is time for you to have an extreme makeover.

listen to me, I hate to hear a woman complain about her look,
you can control it

step # 1 if you are overweight, lose the extra pounds.
step # 2 if you feel you have wrinkles, get a botox,
step # 3 go to the dermatologist to get some facial treatments.
step# 4 it is time to go shopping for some new and sexy cloths,
step# 5 visit a beauty salon , get you hair cut, maybe colored, and a full makeup
step # 6 go to have your portrait taken, and hang it on the wall.

then I dare you if you hate what you see in the mirror after that
and remember, love yourself, the is the key to the beauty

Hi littlegirllost.

I can identify with just about everything that you say. I'm a few years older than you and many days I feel the same way about myself. I lost my mom at a young age and went through a lot of 'stuff'. It affected my self esteem, and it's been hard to get past. I feel sad for you when you call yourself a loser. Please don't believe that. You are raising a daughter...is that the image that you want her to learn from? You said that she's beautiful and smart, so you must be doing something right.. Whenever I get down on myself, my husband always tells me "If you're not going to do something about it, don't complain" and that annoys me, but I know he's right, because if I don't put forth some sort of effort to change, then I will always be in the same place. Housewife's ideas sound like a good plan (I need to do some of those things for myself). Doing something that you enjoy can lift your spirits, like volunteering, a hobby, going to PTA meetings, continuing education classes, etc. And there's always counseling, if you need that extra nudge. You are not a loser! Change that to a positive phrase, like:

I am a loving person.

My strength comes from forgiveness of those who hurt me.

I am worthy of love.

I am free to be myself.

The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.

Love endures all things.

I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.

I have the power to choose good things for myself in every moment

I am in control of my health and wellness.

...or whatever other positive thought comes to mind.

Take care.

It's not my face or my weight. I've been battling obesity for years. It's my body...in general. I've always had bad posture and walk with my head down due to no self-esteem and I just feel I look awful and I try to fix it, but my shoulders are so rounded, it's too late. I feel that when people look at me, that's all they see are my shoulders. Guys NEVER look at me. I do appreciate your advice and I would love to get a makeover if I thought it would help me feel better. If you have any advice on how to make my shoulders look better......please help! Thank you for your kind words. It's nice to have somebody to talk to.

buy one of these ,
they are cheaper online.

Google Image Result for http://www.sportabac.co.uk/file.home/583/thumb/4

Thanks. I will try that. I bought one years ago but it wasn't the right size!

HOW can you possibly think that would help? Sure youll feel better about yourself when you change everything you are. What kind of message is that? If you dont feel good about yourself botox and a haircut will only work for so long. new sexy clothes will make you feel special during the day but how about when you go home to bed....do you still feel so special when you take them off?

If youre feeling low and undesirable take up a new hobby, get together with old friends or acomplish something youve been putting off. You have to realize your 10 yr old daughter thinks you are gorgeous and you are everything she wants to be. look at yourself with her eyes.

Unfortunately, a lot of women can relate. we all have this picture in our minds of what we want to look like or who we want to associate ourselves with.that whole perfect soccer mom mentality isnt what it is to be a mom. and as a woman of 36 you have lived long enough to know that you dont want to look perfect. Your personality, your eyes that are so distinctly you, or your smile...whatever it is you need to find one thing about yourself that puts you above the rest. something that makes you like no other person. what woman doesnt have something they wish they coule change? But honestly there are at least 10 people who would kill to be you for one reason or another. Take pride in the fact that you have your health, youve got your family and you are over being in your 20s and feeling like you need to have the perfect body so guys will be attracted to you. when youre that age guys realize as fun as it is to be with the babe after so long it gets boring. you can be the spice in someones life just being your fun bouncy self. I agree with the last one #6 take a picture of yourself....WITHOUT makeup or a new haircut or anything...just you smiling. or with your daughter and hang it up. That is YOU, the only you and the perfect you. How can you beat that?