Too stressed to even read the other threads

[bellasmom]

I'm sure you all have addressed this someone among these writtings, but, honestly my eyes are filled with tears and it's too hard to read the screen right now. All I can do is write.

I can't deal with anything at all without crying and getting an anxiety attack. I feel myself become hot, dizzy and unable to think. And this lasts for weeks at a time. Nothing has to happen to bring it about, but I know that my internal dialogue is not healthy and is contributing to it. I feel sometimes like I AM THE ONE making myself into a crazy person. I lash out on everyone, don't eat, can't sleep, don't take care of myself at all. I know I need help, but I don't know what.
I don't think that anxiety is my problem, I think that I need to leg go of past hurt and move on, but the present issues demand my attention, so time is unavailable for past hurts.

I know that I am rambling, but this is how my brain works these days- it just scrambles everything up, and I don't know whats going on.

My boyfriend asks, "What's wrong". All I can say is either, "I don't know (because I can't think straight enough to even figure out what's going on) or I say, "EVERYTHING" because it feels like the world is coming down on top of me.

How do I put my finger on what it really is and free myself from it? It feels like the devil has taken over, I'm not kidding.

[sourpuss]

Make an appointment to talk to a counselor. ASAP!!!

Sounds like you need to do a lot of talking. I would suggest finding a counselor that you feel comfortable with (be patient, it may take a few until you find one you really like) Then make a few appointments and just let it all out. That's what they are there for.

They are expensive, but many are willing to work with you on payment. In the end, it's worth every cent.

[bellasmom]

UPDATE_ I saw someone for the first time, and Im going back in two days again. This will make me feel better, becasue I plan it to!

[alibaby]

UPDATE_ I saw someone for the first time, and Im going back in two days again. This will make me feel better, becasue I plan it to!

Hi bellasmom.

I hope all goes well for you with the counseling. Just keep in mind as you go that therapy doesn't fix 'things' right away. It takes time. Counselors are individuals and a good one will guide you to feeling better, but you will have to do the work of changing your life and that can be difficult. If for some reason after a few sessions you don't feel that you are being understood, don't ignore those feelings. Talk to the counselor about them and, if things don't work out, don't be too hard on yourself. Just look for a counselor that you feel comfortable with. I hope you'll be feeling better in the near future.

[bubbles]

Yes when I was younger with the same feelings of depression i had to go to a couple different counsellors till i found one that i liked ( felt like i was getting help) there is alot of different ideas people have to help you, find one that works for you. I also found reading to help, i picked up a book at that point called celestine prophacies and that helped me tremendously to read self help books or books that got my mind on something else that i enjoyed.
take care.