When I was 13 I was diagnosed with depression. They put me on prozac hoping I would have less emotional PMS and start eating since I was anorexic. I have since been on the medication and am definately no longer anorexic. I have actually doubled my weight. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like with out the drug since it has been more than half my life that I have been on it. I have tried a few other meds and so far prozac is the one that works the best. I am border line ADD and it seems to help me focus. I have had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I am dependent on this medication. I find when I try to come off I get horrible headaches and am very emotional. I definately need an antidepressent as it is clear that I have a chemical imbalance. How do I know that the way I am now is the way I should be? Does this make sense. What if all this time the person that I have been is really not the person I should be. I am finally at a point in my life that I can say that I am a loving, warm hearted caring person. I can not however look in the mirror and say, "wow, I'm beautiful". I have lost all confidence in myself since (it seems) since I started taking the med. Call it coincidence but I don't know what else to think. I strongly believe in balance and feel that my life is not properly balanced because I don't love myself. I feel that I won't find my future husband because I will never be able to accept love if I don't love myself. Is it the meds or something deep rooted? I have been brought up with a close knit family who is still loving and supporting to this day. What is wrong with me?

hello sweetie27,
i know that certain meds for depression have been miracle workers for alot of the people in this world. i was on lithium for a long time for bi-polar symptoms and with out it i don't think i would of made it through my life at that time. you need to surround yourself with people that are supportive in you. always tell yourself that you deserve the best and that you are a beautiful person. sounds corney i know but it helps trust me. there was a point in my life i didn't even leave the house due to panic attacks and i didn't even comunicate with anyone at all. this was for a whole year. i realized i was spirialing out of control i was going to be a hermit or something. i thought i had no friends or anything. well i had to do something about it and i did. i took up a hobby and it really helped me out alot. i did lapidary. that is the art of cutting and polishing stones and making jewelry and such. it has helped me grow as a person alot. i joimed this lapidary club close to my house and trust me i was really a nervous wreck at first. the people there were so nice and helpful. i was so scared to cut a rock on this big huge saw. when i did it though i was like wow i can do this! that in itself was a big boost to my confidence. never in a million years i thought i was going to be cutting rocks and loving it. i met quality people that were really caring and we were like this close knit family. helping each other out not just with lapidary but in our personal lives. in the long run i made wonderful friends helped teach an art to other people which was a great feeling. now i have made some beautiful things and i'm proud to say i made that when people admire it. and also i can teach you to do that to!!!!! needless to say i have done lapidary work for about 16 years now. i just can't get it out of my blood. i'm a "rockhound" so to speak. it has enriched my life so much. so my point is try to find a club or some kind of hobby that will surround you with positive things. take care.....

I dont know from personal ecperience but I do know from my grandmother prozac was the best thing that ever happened to her!

only a doctor can tell you what medicine is right for you, but here's my story/advice.

i am on a ****tail of medications to make me feel better. many also believe that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance, but that opinion is up to you. i don't believe i have a chemical imbalance but i do know that its not "normal" to feel hopeless, depressed, suicidal, etc...

the person you were before meds and the person you are now is the same person. you are not depression, you are not Attention Deficit Disorder, you are not anorexia... you are you and those things that accompany your life are just components of your personality. mood disorders are hard to deal with as most of our decisions get based on how we feel that moment and that may get us into trouble big time.

if you go off your medicine, you are still you but the feeling lousy you. if you continue on medicine, you are still you but the feeling good you. i know what its like to have a poor self image, but i honestly think that the more you accept how you are on the inside, the outside starts to look better too.

maybe you need a different drug? good luck with everything and don't give up. post here as much as you need to, and i will be here for you.

I worry that I will have to be on this medication for the rest of my life. I do in fact need some kind of medicine as it is clear when I try to come off. I get very agitated when I don't take my pills, can't focus. I just wonder if it is the right one for me. MissKitty, I think you are the only one who has ever put it in a way I could understand it. I am a very self absorbed person. Not in a selfish way, I don't think. I always drive myself into insanity wondering if I measure up, if people accept me, if I am doing ok in this world. Being on prozac makes me self concious because I feel like I can't just be me. I need help being a happy person. I wish I didn't have to take it but know I have to. Does that make sense? Am I rambling? Thanks for being there, it is a hard topic to discuss with people because a lot think anti depresents are a crutch and an cop-out for the "generation X society"

Let me tell you, that i also fear i'll have to take meds the rest of my life. and i pay over $150 a month just for meds! so i can definetly understand that feeling.

i too obsess. i told my therapist that i think i like when i think that there is something is wrong with me. does that make sense? i have to tell myself that nothing is wrong and that i'm fine... i fluctuate between not caring what people think, and obsessing over everything i do to please others or fit in. its tough.

my hubby thinks that meds are a way to cover up your true self. to take drugs and make you feel different than you are naturally. I can agree and disagree. i agree cause when i take them, i feel good. i feel happy, i feel "normal". when i don't take them, i feel bad. i feel hopeless, i feel despair. is that normal? no. its not.

for lots of people it takes medicine and coping skills to just get out of bed. i can be thankful that i have both to live a "normal" life. there's no need to feel bad because you think that's what your body was built to make you feel.

treatment is treatment whether you have diabetes, schizophrenia, cancer, or depression. we all have to take care of ourselves no matter what extent.

talk to ya soon!

Goosebumps. You are the first person to make me feel like I'm not alone. Everything you said. "normal" I know. My mom says that treatment is treatment too. Thats how she used to explain it to me when I was a kid. She said that my brain is like a puzzle and Prozac is the missing piece. "mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand'em" (Forrest Gump) I fluctuate too. EXACTLY the same. Some days I could give a s*it what people think and play tough biker b*itch and other days I obscess. I feel your anxiety and am sorry you are going through it but feel so much better that I am not alone. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. YOU made me feel "normal"!!!