grr. Where to begin. I am in a constant state of headache. Like I know there are a million reasons for this. I mean I'm not exactly the healthest person in the world; I'm surprised I'm such good shape, compared to what I do. I know like not sleeping and drinking is bad, but I've always done that and I know fast food is bad for you and I've always done that too.

The other day someone pretty much called me fat and I really needed to hear it because god yall that won't.

Nobody's gets this I suppose.

But I don't know.

I'm known I might be thought of as a ditzy blonde but god, this morning I went and proved it. Yep so I went to school and hour early. Nice right, I'm a ing ???? Who does that?

· So I hate my job AGAIN. It ing sucks. The other day I hang up on my manager!

· My school is a joke, like I don't know how I have A's like I don't do there. I there for attendence reasons, we don't learn, when I skip we don't have make-up work, but I'm just getting this cycle where I don't want to go, and I skip and I never want to go.

· And my job is just depressing, it's not like the work, I don't mind working I just think it's getting old, ha how long have a said that. Nah but I really might put in an application at Ruby Tuesday with my friend. I hope that works out.

I need to good drink. I don't really drink that much anymore, maybe I'm going through withdraws ha-ha, I know I'll feel good and my headaches will go away if I drink some, not that I can't handle it like I once could that's weird too.

I'm so lazy and unmotivated, I have no desire to do anything but lay in my bed all day and I wouldn't care. I never want to go to school and when I do. Ha I look like bum not that I care, but I just noticed like I never I don't know "get dress" like its always sweatshirt and jeans. Err I'm ugly and fat, I'm fugly, only f meaning fat…ahh I make myself laugh.

So it takes 30 days to make or break a habit, and I'm trying to break one….not getting too far on that. I'm quit when I go to the gym, that's what I've been saying

Dear me?

I'm fat, i'm ugly, i don't care what i look like, i hate school, hate my job, let's have another drink...

Okay, i can do this, perhaps when i start the gym, then i can start my 30 days withdrawl.

I eat rubbish, and once a day, have to drink before sleeping, got to clear that headache...

Um.... WAKE UP call... Your depressed, down and out, for no reason other than yourself...

The hardest thing to do is break a habit... You have a few.

The second hardest thing is to look in the mirror and say i am all that actually, and see yourself in swimwear that looks hot...

Do it.

All of it.

Write down some goals and work towards one at a time, first one, kick the alcohol, that gives you a headache, puts on weight, clouds your mind and keeps you un-motivated.

Go from there

CW

I'm not depressed at all, Im very happy. Juts I always feel like , and the horrible thigns make me feel better.a nd the thign syou were talking baout inthe bikini whenIm feeling fat, I put on a bikini,a nd look at myself and decided Im not that fat, i look good. But ahh Im not depressed, I just want too much I think, and there's not enough time to do it.

I just finished replying to your previous post, overlooking your most current. As I said earlier I have a healthy body, or so I've been told, but like more than half the women out there, I am not happy with my stomach area. I call it an inch of pure fat, my boyfriend calls it cuteness. Whatever you want to call it I'm not comfortable with it, therefore I refrain from bikinis and have tranferred over to tankinis. When I put that on, I feel comfortable, therefore great!

I have the same method of thinking that you do, which is self destructive. Instead of focusing on the negatives, try to pick out the positives. I don't like my job, but I'm good at it. I hate when I can't do anything with my hair, but at least I'm lucky to have some. When the constant feeling of unhappiness consumes your every day life, you need a way out. I read. Or watch a t.v. series. Only recently have I discovered that depression runs in my family, so I may need to seek professional help. Perhaps it's something to look into for you too.

Whatever you do or think or feel, just remember you are most definitely not alone.

P.S. I used to love my Barbies.

[quote=Franny&Zooey;42153] I hate when I can't do anything with my hair, but at least I'm lucky to have some. QUOTE]

I can see your point of almost escaping by watching TV. 1. I hate TV, there is always something better to do than watch TV. and I always have something I should be doing. 2. I have run away from far to many problems, it's kind of my way, and I just want to deal with it.

I feel so icky, I think I need more exercise.

and thank you so much for responding, and I too LOVE barbies LOL

Well, that's great then... It didn't read that way

So it sounds like you can't wait to change your life, get out of school, work somewhere you like but stuck in a rut of the "now"....

I agree with the other poster, just keep thinking positive thoughts and dream your dreams.....

Take one step at a time hey....

Barbies were my favourite too..... What is it now? Brad dolls or something.....