I know sweet, you've been here for a little while and i watch you answer, always thinking what i can say, offer, advise.
Do you get on well with your family?
Does something make you laugh?
I know i am pushing but how else are we mean't to help hey?
It's kind of not talking writing.. You know some i know here, actually just write.. they don't ask, they start a thread or a blog here and just write, what ever they are thinking feeling...
How would that be?
Could you do that?
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
i get on very well with my family. i do feel guilty often for being so upset because it upsets them. Christmas this year was good though, i didn't get upset at all which was really good, so i'm going to try and build on that :-) i'll try to be a bit more open with the writing :-) xx
That's the key i think...
Even for me when i left my then husband, i wrote here, ask everyone who's been here for a while, expressed and then let it go, way let it go it's good for the soul..
I have been myself for like 16 months out of 19, it can happen.
I know your 23, and maybe this guy you thought was all... But, unless you release, let go, you can't move on read some threads here, some are doing magical things and succeeding.
Rome wasn't build in a day, but 12 months is a long time sweetheart.
Now Christmas was magical? Fantastic, it was fun there was laughter, family, and so you found something you liked. See?
If that can happen anything can.,
Start with blogs here, write who this guy was, why you fell, why you were hurt when it ended, why you can't move on, if you don't want people to reply rather use it as a diary, then say so... you can use this thread to ask for questions...
Ok?
Smile, your a sweety and you know that deep down inside, with a lot of love, if you didn't have love you would not keep putting x after your replies.
And so this is what I am going to do.
xxx
BACK
Have a little think i reckon it will be good for you, what do you have to lose?
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Thank you for your message.
i think i stilll hold on to all the hurt of that situation because i was the only thing that ever made me feel good about myself. I didn't realise i was being used which makes me quite angry with myself. All of my firiends are happily settled and I'm always teh one on my own. i think that that's because i'm no good and that i'll always be on my own. it's a nasty patern of thinking which kind of spirals downwards where i end up feeling utterly worthless. i know that relationships aren't everything but i guess it's that feeling of being wanted that i've never had and i convince myself that i never will.
Christmas was good, i think because i was quite determined that it wouldn't be like that past two Christmas's where i just cried the whole time. my family really tried to cheer me up which made me feel good. Plus i was away from work and stressful situations which i think helped a lot. i was able to finally relax. maybe that's part of the problem , i never relax properly. i find it very hard to turn off that switch inside my head and just chill. At christms i got lots of girly bits and i spent ages just pottering about plating with various make up and smelly sets which was really nice because i had some me time. i'm determined to start trying to do that more, i think that will help.
i went book shopping last night, there are some good self help books out there, but also some pretty bad ones that aren't helpful! I've found 'Overcoming depression' helpful. if anyone know of any other books for depression/ self esteem or similar issues that have been helpful let em know. we can get a list together of what types of book/ approach people think are helpful!x
Originally Posted by hayleyf605
Tell you what sucks, spending way long making a reply and loosing it?
Firstly, then whoo hooo you made a lengthy reply.
Secondly, women fall for a man once intimate, and some guys have no Morals and just do what they do... why feel you are to blame? Why? It is their insecurity or their belief that women are there to be used, until they mature and then and only then do they see...
Never, ever thing it's your fault or something you did or you were to blame, goodness, you think us oldies haven't experienced being used?
Really?
I am glad that you had a great time with family... Thing is you took time to see and to want and so it happened.
That is a good sign, as much as this reply being long, lengthy and honest.
The guy was a jerk, yep... he was, used, didn't care, you know you are worth more... Your just starting to figure that out.
It wasn't you after all was it?
You knew what you wanted, he did not, does not, plays, is a player, fun, no Morals.
Work that out and you will be fine.
Keep reading those books as well.
And keep in touch with your friends here, cause they care.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Hi Haley,
I'm so glad to see that you had a nice christmas, and that you're feeling comfortable in opening up a little more.
CW gives you some excellent advice. sometimes just venting stuff out to someone makes a world of difference. we're here and willing to listen and chat.
Anthony
I blame myself for being stupid enough to think that someone would want me or to think that i was good enough. I feel very stupid and naive thatI've been used and continue to be emotionally. It makes me question whether the whole thing was a set up or a joke. In any case, I've been hurt so badly and now have such destructive thoughts that I'm unable to be happy. I get upset that no one wants me but get equally upset because I know that in the event that someone did, I wouldn't be able to let myself be in that situation again or trust someone. At the moment I have a lot of uni work on, and I can't do it, I'm really behind and I feel like a complete failure. I know that my tutor will be disappointed that it's so late and what I've managed to produce is well below standard- story of my life. I'm worried and stressed at the moment. I feel like everytime i try to do something for myself, like uni, for my own development etc I can't do it. It's almost as if I convince myself that I'm no good and I don't deserve things, like I should be punished for being so silly and making mistakes. I just don't feel worthy of anything. I'm not sure if that made any sense but I tried! xx
How could you possibly be no good at Uni, and yet get into Uni? Think about that one.
And, how can you possibly let a "person", male or female destroy you, and let you believe that you aren't good enough? Take a deep look at them and where they are going in life, want them to win?
Or you?
Have a think on that one.
And, remember, you started reading other threads/posts here and started to realise you 1) weren't alone and 2) started to get out of it....
If others can you can, and even on here, it's shown to be the case.
Time to say there is NO SUCH WORD AS CAN'T.... Only CAN!!!!
You can do it, you know you can.... stop telling yourself you can't.
(Smile) Nice to see you back.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
thank you CW i will have a think about those tonight. Think i give too much power about how I feel to other people. btw, i love the quote at the bottom of your messages :-)
RIGHT- no such word as can't!!!
I'm starting to give up. I feel like i'm always going to be like this, always sad and down. The doctor has said to start taking tablets. I'm not sure if I'm wasting my energy fighting it or whether I should just accept that this is how I'm always going to be. Everyone around me is so happy and it really gets to me
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