How to beat depression

**hayleyf605** · 08-17-2008 04:48 PM

HI,

i've suffered from depression for about two years, i'm 22. it initially started after a break up but has spiralled to where i feel bad about everything about myself. i've tried st johns wort, homoeoathy etc but they havent really had much of an effect. does anyone know of anything else that might work?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-17-2008 05:26 PM

Originally Posted by hayleyf605

HI,

i've suffered from depression for about two years, i'm 22. it initially started after a break up but has spiralled to where i feel bad about everything about myself. i've tried st johns wort, homoeoathy etc but they havent really had much of an effect. does anyone know of anything else that might work?

Hi Hayley....

Depression is a horrible thing, and I can see that your trying natural remodies..

It's easy for people to say get yourself out of it, but it's not easy to do.

The boyfriend you had probably was your life... And, then you felt like you didn't have one.

Surround yourself again with friends and family and start to slowly learn to laugh with them again.

Look at yourself in a mirror and tell yourself your beautiful and that you love yourself, twice a day every day..

Sure, that's easily said than done that won't work. Actually, sweet, it's the mind that controls how we feel so it really will work. The more you do something positive the more it actually becomes real and you actually can see it and feel it.

Rome wasn't built in a day but doing things daily become pattern and those patterns can either be negative or positive. A simple thing like the above is a good start to make you start to smile.

See someone if you can afford to about that relationship so you can get it all of your chest... Probably your blaming yourself for the ending but not realising that people come into your life for a reason, they don't necessarily stay for ever... And, someone else walks in that will, one day.

Hypnotherapy may also help you as good thoughts are planted into your mind.

I am sure, that you have a beautiful soul and you are a beautiful person, remind yourself every day...

Because it's true.

CW

**hayleyf605** · 08-17-2008 05:42 PM

thank you, that was a lovely and very helpful post. i did feel like he was my life- he got eith someone else very quickly who is prettier and thinner than me which has left me feeling very worthless ever since and with low self esteem. the trouble with depression is you desperately want to get out but in te back of your mind you're convinced you never will

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-17-2008 08:06 PM

Originally Posted by hayleyf605

thank you, that was a lovely and very helpful post. i did feel like he was my life- he got eith someone else very quickly who is prettier and thinner than me which has left me feeling very worthless ever since and with low self esteem. the trouble with depression is you desperately want to get out but in te back of your mind you're convinced you never will

I truly understand that. But, think of it this way, he wasn't worth it and there is someone out there better for you. Hard to believe but as i say, people come into our lives for a reason... Maybe he came in to show you that you deserve better.

If you actually look back at that relationship you will more than likely see how one sided it was. You gave heeps and him little.

Understand that.. Because the next person you give to will give it back 10 fold, that's the Universe as it works for us...

Learn that you deserve better from what happened, not what he went on to because she won't last either, he will create problems there as well eventually and she will walk.. He will then learn what it is like. That is called Kalma.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....

CW

**Joy** · 08-17-2008 09:10 PM

HI Hayley,

break ups are hard because the peice of heart and soul that we freely give away feels like it is gone for good. It is not true by giving generously you become more You are not worthless. That guy is afraid to be alone that is why he moved on so quick.

Today you have to start worrying about you and build a life for yourself. Love yourself be kind to yourself. When you hear all the negative self chatter going on in your head STOP it IMMEDIATLY. Give yourself 3 compliments even if you are having a horrible day compliment yourself for getting out of bed that day. CW is 100% correct depression is a mind set. It won't change over night but over the next couple of months you will see a change from negative to positive.

You may have to deal with alot of repressed issues so find a creative way to express yourself either thru writing , painting music whatever makes you happy. You are not worthless this man does not define who you are no one can do that but you. Remember to be patient and kind to yourself

oh and exercise......... walk, swim, run or skip do something everyday even if it is for 15 minutes. Just get those brain chemicals working for you not against you. I'm into meditation but its not for everyone.

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 08-19-2008 05:27 AM

Aside from all of the obvious realistic answers like a better diet and exercise, I'd say that mdma and ketamine helped. The former was used by therapists for overcoming trauma etc. and the latter has shown in studies to affect the part of the brain that makes you depressed, or something.

**Fire(m)** · 08-19-2008 08:11 PM

Hi Hayley,
There's nothing wrong with you. There is nothing about you that doesn't deserve to be with someone wonderful (if that's your desire). You owe it to yourself to prepare for your future though. Your perception of things predisposes your reaction to them.

For example. The depression is really bothering you and contributing to your self-esteem issues. In order to move forward with your life though, you probably know that somehow you need to get beyond the depression (as you've indicated by writing in to us). Now, your perception is that you're less than "worthy" for lack of a better word. Your predisposed reaction to that is that the depression is perpetuated and you just can't seem to move beyond it.

Consider what would happen if you began to perceive yourself differently (as someone offered above). What if you embraced yourself for who you are? What if you realized that the beautiful skinny woman your ex is with is a HUMONGOUS PAIN IN HIS BACK SIDE and she's making his life a living heck!!!! Just because you haven't perceived it to be so in the past doesn't make it so. What if you really started doing little things that show you care about yourself. Pick yourself up one day and treat yourself NICE. Paint your fingernails if you don't do that normally. Get a new hairdo, or buy a cute outfit and think of it as if you are beginning anew to start appreciating yourself...treating yourself really nice because YOU deserve to treat YOURSELF nicely.

If you don't think you deserve to treat yourself nicely, it will be difficult to sell someone else on why they should treat you nicely. Right? And when you begin to show yourself a little respect, it will really get away with you. You'll find out bit by bit how much you like yourself...how adorably cute you are. How humorous and fun and vivacious you are and THEN my friend, YOU will be fit to be with any MAN you want.

Good luck! I have a feeling there is an awesome woman in there who's dying to come out. Treat her nice and she might follow you down the path of renewal.

Cheers.

**hayleyf605** · 08-20-2008 03:42 AM

thank you for your post, that really helps. i'll try my best x

**silvertae** · 08-20-2008 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

Aside from all of the obvious realistic answers like a better diet and exercise, I'd say that mdma and ketamine helped. The former was used by therapists for overcoming trauma etc. and the latter has shown in studies to affect the part of the brain that makes you depressed, or something.

MDMA causes a rush of serotonin, which will temporarily make you feel as if there is nothing wrong with the world and everything is beautiful. But use of the drug depletes tissue stores of serotonin to such a degree that behavioural problems can result.

Ketamine is primarily used as a tranquilizer/anesthetic.

I wouldn't recommend using either. I was a big MDMA user in high school, and while this is purely anecdotal, I think it significantly contributed to my current memory and mood problems, and greatly increased anxiety levels.

**janice12** · 08-21-2008 10:14 AM

my friend went through depression and although meds helped, they didn't help that much.... i am a very positive person and i read books such as "the secret". i introduced my friend Ally to positive thinking etc. and it has made such a difference. i suggest reading self help books, going to yoga, meditating etc.

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