Dear Ronnie,
Wow! Talk about similarities! Six years ago, I sent my 2 children (ages 10 and 5 at the time) to live with family. I didn't know what else to do because I was very abusive! I didn't only yell, but I hit too! One day, as I was standing over my children with a wire hanger about to "let them have it" something snapped in me, and I cried nonstop for 2 hours. I gave them up because I feared myself and what I might do to them. I knew I needed help and because I have NEVER been comfortable with "shrinks", I did what I knew I had to do to insure their safety. Now PLEASE don't get me wrong with this response....I am not in ANY way advising you to give up your children! I am just trying to tell you that you are NOT alone! It doesn't make you a bad mother because you yell at your children. Children are NOT EASY!!!! Nobody is perfect.....not even mothers! Don't get down on yourself just because you YELL at them. Some people don't realize that the way we bring up our children has a lot to do with how WE were raised. The fact that you are AWARE of the problem is your first step! Take it easy on yourself.....it's just frustration and negative energy and it can be relieved in other ways besides yelling. Try leaving the room and screaming in a pillow. Try splashing really cold water on your face. Try listening to music or going for a short walk. The bottom line is you are not alone and you are not perfect! Take good care of YOURSELF.....take steps that you believe are necessary to insure YOUR happiness! If your happy, your children will be happy too!