Thread: My 2-year-old is completely Out of Control!!!

In addition to the physical factor, it could be ADHD. I dont want to speak on anyones behalf except my own. I have a four year old, who at 1 1/2, i would joke was going through her terrible two's, then threes, and now fours.. Doctors are hesistant to diagnose before the age 5, so I've had to really do my own research. She acts out terribly in school and at home. She is on a strict routine and a VERY low sugar, low additive diet. (no yellow, red food colorings). I dont want to stat her on medication but she is out of control and if i cant control her soon, im going to lose my mind. She has her sweet, good moments, but i was getting horrible reports home from school, or time can be very stressed together. I find coping with it is easier when i know she isnt truly in control of the reasons shes not listening (inattentive, hyper, distracted). Just an idea. But i have found thats our issue. If it is truly a behavoir thing, let them know what you do at home that works, and ask them to implement it at school to reinforce it.

This rarely happens but I disagree with Wild (shaking my head at myself)

Single mom of two girls. My baby girls is NO JOKE! Though she understands that Mommy does not play..therefore she does not will not better not act up in school. When she has an issue I put my mean face on (which happens to scare all children) and I go and SIT IN THE CLASSROOM! Since she does not want me there she acts correctly. She knows how to defend herself and she knows the rule...if they hit you tell the teacher, if they hit you again and the teacher does not act you are allowed to defend yourself. If it continues to happen Mommy will deal with it. Every teacher, every Principal, every assistant and most parents knows who I am. That is the only time I allow them to hit...when they are defending themselves. Now back to your issue...you are to soft. He doesn't respect you, and he doesn't respect his teachers. Something is going on in that classroom that you need to be present for. So go and sit in the classroom. Or better yet outside of the classroom. When he starts acting up, swing that door open like a mad woman get on his level (knee down, eye to eye) and in your calmest sternest voice tell him this is NOT acceptable...grab him by his arm and sit him in his chair and tell him to STAY there! Then walk back outside. If it continues remove him from the class take him to the bathroom show him his screaming face (this is NOT nice) if you continue to act this way there will be consequences that you will not like. Wait until he calms down and return him to his class. If it happens a 3rd time, i'm sorry some may not like what i'm about to say but tear that little boys behind up! Understand this...one day he's going to be bigger and possibly stronger than you. Since it seems you are a single mother you need to learn this now.....Spare the Rod Spoil the CHILD! YOU are the mother! It is not fair to the other children to have their learning time disrupted. I do not abuse my children..but I will whoop that tail if need be. If I have exhausted all other means then guess what....i'mma wax that tail and put you to bed. Keep playing with me and I will do it in the classroom infront of your teacher! Principal! Peers! I do NOT have time for blatten disrespect!
As far as the home life goes...introduce quiet reading time. Where you and him sit and read books together. Calm activities and balance it with Active ones. I know he's two but they have to have Gymboree or something he can take to get that excess energy out. I'm a person who does not believe in ADHD I believe in excess energy and minds who think faster than their little bodies can react. So I introduce different variables into their lives. For instance music...playing an instrument takes great concentration and allows the brain to implement its energy. So dance with him, sing with him....run around in circles with him. Do not allow him to take 2 or 3 hour naps...thats asking for trouble later. If my baby girl is up at 7 her nap time is around 11 or 12 shes up no later than 1 hr after I put her down eats plays reads learns bathes and is in bed by 8! Doesn't mean she is sleeping by 8 but she needs to be in bed by 8. Now for my older daughter I make her do push ups, sit ups jumping jacks or write when she gets into trouble.

I never spanked because I just don't personally feel like it sends out the message I want to send: that hitting solves problems, in some little boys it may make them think hitting is how you get people to do what you want, and in some little girls it can cause them to feel like being hit is what they are to expect when they act out of line.

But I know that all parents vary in how they feel spanking comes across to their kids. I know some adult friends that were spanked that think they are better for it, and some that wish their parents found a different way to get them to behave.

I've been at my wits end when my son was little and throwing tantrums but I learned that he'll suffer no emotional damage by not getting what he wants. So I let him cry and throw his fits -- I'd take things away from him like toys or games and put them up til he was able to behave.

But ever since he was little I'd talk to him. I'd tell him how his actions made me feel. If he hurt my feelings with his behavior I'd tell him that. I've taught him empathy, and I'm proud of that. Is he a perfect child? No! lol. Would he have turned out , be turning out, better with spanking... who knows. But I had to do/have to do.. what I personally feel is right.. and that is no spanking.

But I don't down parents that feel that type of punishment works for their kids as long as it is done as punishment and not out of frustration or anger. Raising kids is not easy and we all do it the way we feel is right.

I never hit out of anger, if i'm angry I walk away. I allow her to jump up and down..but sometimes honestly I put her outside and tell her if she wants to do it she can go outside because I don't and won't deal with it in my house. I will tell her to come in when she is done. Or I put her in her room and tell her to come downstairs when she is done and walk away. At home, and in school are two different things. At home they have a little more freedom because they need to know this is a safe sanctuary for them to express themselves..however there are still some boundaries I refuse to let up on.

I have many things i'm willing to be patient with however school is NOT one of the. Education is important and if your child is disturbing the classroom he is not only affecting himself but other children as well

What is your son reacting to? Is it your emotion? Is it that something at the day care makes him unhappy? Is he finding a sense of control in acting out. Kids need routine. They need a healthy sleep pattern. When my son was young he was in bed by 8pm, He had a warm bath before bed, We where up at 7 and breakfast was first and then other things. He needed a nap by one pm,
Sometimes we need to stand back, This is a child. A child that can nto say what is going on and emotions are intense.
I could feel my son cry sometimes when he was two all the way to my spine. I had to remind myself that he was a babe and I needed to find a solution. he hated going to bed ..he did not like me to go to another room. I thought wowo. Here I am working adn this little one is saying I want my mom. He threw up if I left the room so rather then wash sheets I choose to sit at the end of teh bed reading a book. Tough to ignore his little pats on my head. I woudl just say love you I am reading time for sleep. Thing was he was comofortable and he went to sleep. Over three weeks he gained trust that I was there and I always was at from evening till am. I think it was just an attachment age thing... he settled down and started to go to sleep without me being in the room.
I think it gave him security. He went side ways with one baby sitter and I just thought this is crazy .. He is not happy I am not happy the sitter is not happy so I changed the day care and he was fine. Is this change new?

Take care of you and decrease your stress. If you cannot see which direction to go soak in the tub when he has gone to sleep. Talk with other moms. I never spanked my son. I set boundries for others around my son of what I would accept as respectful communication to him.
I loved him but I saw him as separate from me at two. It was a growth change. He like any babe was so dependant on me but as his world expanded I realized his emotins where his but my emotions really affected him too. It was like clock work. If I was having a bad day ,,, he would act out. We where not even in the same place. I matured quickly and became wiser.
I also found out he was allergic to milk and changed to soya. Go fiqure so realy stand back and watch the senerio and see where you need to make change.

Is it possible that maybe language barrier creates this frustration in him? What language do you speak most of the time, Spanish or English? You really need to take this seriously, because he's a 2-year old, starting to speak and understand a language and might be frustrated and confused over it. Try also hiring a nanny, because day-car just doesn't work for some children, they thrive better in a more homely environment.

Crystal I know the feeling of out of control kids here is a very informational guide with some tips and tricks that I think you may find very helpful in controlling your sons terrible two's.

Best Regards,

KRenee'

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