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Reply With Quotesorry i was a bit cranky with you, i think the thread title put my back up. couldnt you call it what i hate about my mother, why i hate my mother is to strong - in my humble opinion.
hi joy
thank you for helping me see my problems from a different view and understanding me.
Maybe now i would be able to help myself more. I am trying to find a job and see if i can have a career with my degree and move on and help my husband out with finances. But believe me this time that i get to control them and not him.
and as for my mom, you are right. I know she's very pushy but i still call her and do try to steer the conversation away from me to everyday events.
I am really doing my best so wish me luck and thank you for being there for me
sorry i was a bit cranky with you, i think the thread title put my back up. couldnt you call it what i hate about my mother, why i hate my mother is to strong - in my humble opinion.
Can't change titles happy ending..But, I do agree, the word "hate" is a very strong word, one of which i never use anyway or believe in, and secondly, family is family so you should never totally despise any of them, rather understand them which comes with age.Originally Posted by happy ending
Admittedly, when I read it was because els had to pay $60k as to the reason it was like... But you did make a very valid point, time to live for yourself not what your Mother "and alot of Mothers" expect from their child..
I would hassid at a quess that because she was a single mum she only wants the best for all of her children and for those children not to struggle like she did. I am not saying she has gone about it the right way as you are 24 years of age and in my "opinion" is also the reason why you married this guy who lied and why you feel that you can't go back home to your Mother.
I said I would write again later, guess what? Here I am haha.
Look you need to sit with your mum, "she was your best friend" you have said that and you need to say to her that you appreciate where she is coming from, what she wants for you but it has created a huge problem and talk about your marriage to her, the lies, the reason why you married him and where you are now up shirt creek...
You need to say to her, you are my best friend but Mum, I have tried it your way, I don't like and don't want to be a Doctor, I married a lier, wanting to please financially, let's do this the right way... You've put a head on my shoulders so let me now start living it my way and be happy, because happiness is way more important with little money and my best friend, than what it is with false pretenses which obivously is the life I have been living.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Hey NP... and even your comment about you get to control the finances... you both should it should be open and discussed openly. Its the only way it will ever get better and the only way you guys can change your spending habits. If he is a chronic spender then open an account that is for savings that no bills or anything comes out of. Go see a debt cousellor together their service is free. Go see a financial planner they will do a presentation for you on how to save for retirment, kids, home, ect.. all the major purchases and shifts in life.
Even a debt cousellor will tell you to put savings away even when you are clearing debt. It helps to get you in the practice . You are 24 you are young you have a lot of life ahead of you.
good luck!
My wife still listens to her mother in most things - and she is in her mid 40s, he mother is in her early 80's. I still wanted (and never got) approval from my parents until they were so senile that they were just pathetic. I think a lot of people are never free from parents.
Parents often have good advice - but not always. It is worth listening, thinking and then with that information doing what you want to do.
i know about mothers mine can be a nightmare, she is a champion of the left handed compliment. i remember her saying so many mean things to me over the years, she can also be manipulative and sometimes even untruthful. however, when my shop burnt down in the middle of the night, she drove four hours to be there for me, she also sat there through my 24 hour labour, my ex-husband was at a party! i dont know what it is about mothers, but she loves you, in her own strange way!
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