A two year old... and screaming!

**cmoneileena1** · 01-23-2009, 05:03 PM

I am just looking for some suggestions and wondering how long this will last. I have a 2 yr. old and neither my husband or myself can tell her not to do something without her screaming bloody murder. We don't even have to be yelling at her to provoke this type of extreme reaction. In general we ask her nicely or remind her that there are some things that are unsafe or that she is not supposed to be into and she has a fit, sometimes lasting for half an hour or more. It has gotten to the point that I almost end up having to give her a time out for everything! Not because everything deserves a time out but because she just won't stop screaming.

Does anyone else have this problem with their child? Any ideas on how to stop it? I realize that she is 2 and that it comes with the territory. I also understand that she is frustrated a lot (she doesn't really talk yet, a few words and phrases but she is not yet fully capable of getting her ideas across all the time)Hardly a day goes by without this happening and it is really embarrassing when she behaves this way in public.

**WildChild** · 01-23-2009, 05:11 PM

Ah the terrific twos, at time of change and development! Stay as calm as possible, when she is calm explain to her that mommy and daddy can't hear when she is screaming - you can't talk to someone who is screaming. Kids understand more than we generally credit. If she starts, try whispering, sometimes that will get their attention, they have to quiet down to hear you. You could also try doing something unexpected like throwing your arms up in the air screaming, throwing yourself down on the floor or couch and acting like you are having a tantrum (Try this at home, not in the store) kids usually find this behavior unacceptable from an adult. Or just sit down and laugh.

There is a really good Berenstein Bears book about tantrums that you might start reading to her.

**cmoneileena1** · 01-23-2009, 11:22 PM

Thank you SOOOO much for replying and especially for making me laugh. I think she is getting her 2 yr molars so she has been especially irritable lately and the tantrums have increased with the irritability. I was at the end of my rope when I wrote the original post as she was screaming again! I will try the books and I think I will also try throwing a tantrum myself... if nothing else it will make my husband laugh and take HIS mind off the yelling. lol.

**GodsAngelbaby** · 01-30-2009, 09:27 PM

i can offer help (im not yet a mom but have 5 nephews under the age of 7)
when my nephew who is now 2 and also has very little vocabulary (and a bigger brother)
starts screaming about not getting his way he gets a 2 minute time out on a spot depends on if at home its on a kid's couch or at grannies house its in the corner.

they dont spank but do the 'time out thing, they clap there hands to get atention then say calmly not to scream or yell and give a warning if he keeps it up they put him directly in the 'spot. and so far this week he has learned if he keeps it up he cant get up and if he gets up he will be firmly put back and sometimes (after a full week) a warning is all that is needed.

my brother gets there attention gets down to there level being calm and trying not to scare of seem imposing.

when the older brother was 2 and the only child all they had to do was walk away and pick up one of his toys and act like it was so much fun and he would stop and insist they 'share. it got his mind of his tantrum and stoped the screaming as he was a screamer.

But its true if they cant talk a lot yet they get frusterated that they cant 'convey what they want. even adults feel like screaming or do scream when over whelmed.

one thing is what ever you decide to do you have to stick with it dont give in. kids want attention and rules (the word sounds mean but) if they have rules then they will already know what they can do if they dont have any rules then they will always be wondering what will get them in trouble).

good luck

Gabby

**GodsAngelbaby** · 01-30-2009, 09:29 PM

i'm a big fan of supper nanny and nanny 911

gabby

Kung Fu Kitty · 02-19-2009, 05:31 PM

my own child wasnt a screamer,but i have dealt with a few.if they have a tantrum,simply put them in their room and shut the door.they can come out when they calm down.they could be screaming over a bunch of things..not getting their way,teething,overtired,headache,bellyache.if they act up the same time everyday... try giving them a nap.if they wont lay down..lay down with them.maybe a short walk outside to distract them.
you can also try playing some music they might like(sing alongs work),or just running the vaccum.

gardngrl · 02-24-2009, 04:57 PM

I’m a mother of 2 and a childcare provider. First try to relax, screaming doesn’t hurt them or you. I usually would offer the crying corner. This was an established place for them to go to where they would go and learn to control themselves. I would go on and engage the other children with a smile as if there wasn’t a child screaming like a banshee in the corner. This corner is far away from the action in the room. In this way I am not “rewarding” their behavior with attention (positive or negative). I also do the mimicking thing with my 4 year old when she starts whining. She can’t take it and just start laughing. My oldest used to follow me around and have her tantrums

Eventually I told her if she was going to scream she had to do it in her room and close the door because it was too loud. If you can believe it I am smiling as I write this. The terrible two’s are over before you know it. When my youngest was 2 you couldn’t leave her alone for a second or there would be some sort of permanent mess like chocolate milk on the light carpet. Looking back, those days were great.

**WildChild** · 02-25-2009, 11:28 PM

You go through it again on a different level when they hit their teens. It's part frustration, part pushing the limits and part separation.

**Debra** · 03-09-2009, 03:27 PM

I agree with everyone on this situation. I have 3 children and my second child screams bloody murder too. She is 3 and still has her screaming fits. Sending her to a room where she can wail away is the best idea I heard. That's what I did and still do when it gets bad. You'd be surprised as to how calm and collected you will get when you can barely hear the screaming.

Some days, though, I found that screaming was really getting to me even after sending her to her room. On those days, I suggest walking in the backyard or just stepping out of the house for a few.

If you're in public and she starts screaming and you're not really in a position to leave, then I'd like to make a suggestion. Take her to the public bathroom. It gets her mind off of the temper tantrum and makes her wonder what the heck you're doing. And even if she persists on the screaming, then she's in a bathroom and it's not so embarassing.

Finally, if ANYONE gives you a weird look about your child screaming, then by all means give them the 'eye'. That's a sure way to make them look the other way...and it's a way to let them know that you're not doing anything wrong and they need not make you feel bad about it.

florencenightingale · 03-10-2009, 09:09 PM

Ah yes. My daughter. Blah! She's 20 months and HORRIBLE! We recently made a few changes that seem to be working. As for the screaming, I leave. Step OVER her body and walk away, completely ignoring the fact that I can't hear myself think over the sound of her screaming bloody murder!

This has worked like a charm! Then, like the others said, when she's calm I tell her how much better it is and try to talk with her, encouraging her to use her words.

Good luck to you!!!

01-23-2009, 05:03 PM	#1
cmoneileena1 VIP Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Tennessee, USA Posts: 42	A two year old... and screaming! I am just looking for some suggestions and wondering how long this will last. I have a 2 yr. old and neither my husband or myself can tell her not to do something without her screaming bloody murder. We don't even have to be yelling at her to provoke this type of extreme reaction. In general we ask her nicely or remind her that there are some things that are unsafe or that she is not supposed to be into and she has a fit, sometimes lasting for half an hour or more. It has gotten to the point that I almost end up having to give her a time out for everything! Not because everything deserves a time out but because she just won't stop screaming. Does anyone else have this problem with their child? Any ideas on how to stop it? I realize that she is 2 and that it comes with the territory. I also understand that she is frustrated a lot (she doesn't really talk yet, a few words and phrases but she is not yet fully capable of getting her ideas across all the time)Hardly a day goes by without this happening and it is really embarrassing when she behaves this way in public.

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01-23-2009, 05:11 PM	#2
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,228 Blog Entries: 5	Ah the terrific twos, at time of change and development! Stay as calm as possible, when she is calm explain to her that mommy and daddy can't hear when she is screaming - you can't talk to someone who is screaming. Kids understand more than we generally credit. If she starts, try whispering, sometimes that will get their attention, they have to quiet down to hear you. You could also try doing something unexpected like throwing your arms up in the air screaming, throwing yourself down on the floor or couch and acting like you are having a tantrum (Try this at home, not in the store) kids usually find this behavior unacceptable from an adult. Or just sit down and laugh. There is a really good Berenstein Bears book about tantrums that you might start reading to her.

01-23-2009, 11:22 PM	#3
cmoneileena1 VIP Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Tennessee, USA Posts: 42	Thank you SOOOO much for replying and especially for making me laugh. I think she is getting her 2 yr molars so she has been especially irritable lately and the tantrums have increased with the irritability. I was at the end of my rope when I wrote the original post as she was screaming again! I will try the books and I think I will also try throwing a tantrum myself... if nothing else it will make my husband laugh and take HIS mind off the yelling. lol.

01-30-2009, 09:27 PM	#4
GodsAngelbaby VIP Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 92 Blog Entries: 1	i can offer help (im not yet a mom but have 5 nephews under the age of 7) when my nephew who is now 2 and also has very little vocabulary (and a bigger brother) starts screaming about not getting his way he gets a 2 minute time out on a spot depends on if at home its on a kid's couch or at grannies house its in the corner. they dont spank but do the 'time out thing, they clap there hands to get atention then say calmly not to scream or yell and give a warning if he keeps it up they put him directly in the 'spot. and so far this week he has learned if he keeps it up he cant get up and if he gets up he will be firmly put back and sometimes (after a full week) a warning is all that is needed. my brother gets there attention gets down to there level being calm and trying not to scare of seem imposing. when the older brother was 2 and the only child all they had to do was walk away and pick up one of his toys and act like it was so much fun and he would stop and insist they 'share. it got his mind of his tantrum and stoped the screaming as he was a screamer. But its true if they cant talk a lot yet they get frusterated that they cant 'convey what they want. even adults feel like screaming or do scream when over whelmed. one thing is what ever you decide to do you have to stick with it dont give in. kids want attention and rules (the word sounds mean but) if they have rules then they will already know what they can do if they dont have any rules then they will always be wondering what will get them in trouble). good luck Gabby

01-30-2009, 09:29 PM	#5
GodsAngelbaby VIP Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 92 Blog Entries: 1	i'm a big fan of supper nanny and nanny 911 gabby

02-19-2009, 05:31 PM	#6
Kung Fu Kitty Banned from WH Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Maine Posts: 126	my own child wasnt a screamer,but i have dealt with a few.if they have a tantrum,simply put them in their room and shut the door.they can come out when they calm down.they could be screaming over a bunch of things..not getting their way,teething,overtired,headache,bellyache.if they act up the same time everyday... try giving them a nap.if they wont lay down..lay down with them.maybe a short walk outside to distract them. you can also try playing some music they might like(sing alongs work),or just running the vaccum.

02-24-2009, 04:57 PM	#7
gardngrl Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: maryland Posts: 12	I’m a mother of 2 and a childcare provider. First try to relax, screaming doesn’t hurt them or you. I usually would offer the crying corner. This was an established place for them to go to where they would go and learn to control themselves. I would go on and engage the other children with a smile as if there wasn’t a child screaming like a banshee in the corner. This corner is far away from the action in the room. In this way I am not “rewarding” their behavior with attention (positive or negative). I also do the mimicking thing with my 4 year old when she starts whining. She can’t take it and just start laughing. My oldest used to follow me around and have her tantrums Eventually I told her if she was going to scream she had to do it in her room and close the door because it was too loud. If you can believe it I am smiling as I write this. The terrible two’s are over before you know it. When my youngest was 2 you couldn’t leave her alone for a second or there would be some sort of permanent mess like chocolate milk on the light carpet. Looking back, those days were great.

02-25-2009, 11:28 PM	#8
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,228 Blog Entries: 5	You go through it again on a different level when they hit their teens. It's part frustration, part pushing the limits and part separation.

03-09-2009, 03:27 PM	#9
Debra VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 76	I agree with everyone on this situation. I have 3 children and my second child screams bloody murder too. She is 3 and still has her screaming fits. Sending her to a room where she can wail away is the best idea I heard. That's what I did and still do when it gets bad. You'd be surprised as to how calm and collected you will get when you can barely hear the screaming. Some days, though, I found that screaming was really getting to me even after sending her to her room. On those days, I suggest walking in the backyard or just stepping out of the house for a few. If you're in public and she starts screaming and you're not really in a position to leave, then I'd like to make a suggestion. Take her to the public bathroom. It gets her mind off of the temper tantrum and makes her wonder what the heck you're doing. And even if she persists on the screaming, then she's in a bathroom and it's not so embarassing. Finally, if ANYONE gives you a weird look about your child screaming, then by all means give them the 'eye'. That's a sure way to make them look the other way...and it's a way to let them know that you're not doing anything wrong and they need not make you feel bad about it.

03-10-2009, 09:09 PM	#10
florencenightingale Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 24	Ah yes. My daughter. Blah! She's 20 months and HORRIBLE! We recently made a few changes that seem to be working. As for the screaming, I leave. Step OVER her body and walk away, completely ignoring the fact that I can't hear myself think over the sound of her screaming bloody murder! This has worked like a charm! Then, like the others said, when she's calm I tell her how much better it is and try to talk with her, encouraging her to use her words. Good luck to you!!!