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Old 05-12-2009, 06:48 AM   #1
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Default Step Mother- Mother's Day

I have a question for you ladies.. Been a step mother for almost 5 years now. She and I have a great relationship. Not trying to replace her mom because that's not me. But every year on Mother's Day my feelings totally get hurt because I never hear from the girl. Yes she lives with her mom and step father but every now and then she calls me for advice ( she's 16) and I'm always there for her. Shoot I'm even giving her my old car for her first car. I mean is it wrong of me to feel hurt on Mother's Day ? I mean it's like I don't even rate with her. I'm good enough to take her to get her hair done and to tell me secrets... It just upsets me, I thought she felt more for me then this.
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:19 PM   #2
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Christina, she is a child.

She wouldn't even think, seriously for 16 years she has lived with her Mother and called her "Mom", she sees you as her Father's wife, someone she can confide in, she tells you secrets she doesn't tell her Mum... She does "rate you"...

If she was 6 or 7 when you entered her life, perhaps as a "child/child" she would see that and have made you a special card.

If this hurts you so much, it shouldn't... You are her confident, a woman whom she admires and comes to when she wants to share... You are special.

She also may be respectful to her own Mother of 16 years, and feel it wrong to give you a card to say Happy Mother's Day, it's not as cut and dry as you think....

Have a joke with her, say where's my step mom card? ....

She's not a mind reader, Adult, to see how you feel.. But from what you've said, I can guarantee you that she cares about you and respects you.

Don't use the " I'm even giving her my car, I've even taken her to get her hair done", you make it sound like, you expect something back from giving...

You give only because you want to, .... in life.

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Old 05-15-2009, 01:34 PM   #3
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Old 05-15-2009, 01:44 PM   #4
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sorry about the above...I don't know how to delete it.

Anyway, Christina, I am a stepmother myself, although my step-daugter wants nothing to do with her dad or I...but that's another story.

There is a special day set aside for step-parents, I can't recall for step-fathers, but for step-mothers it's the weekend AFTER Mother's Day. At one point, when she was little, my s-d enjoyed our company and always wanted to get me something for me for M's Day and I would no allow it. I am not her mother and would NEVER take that away from her mother. That's just not me, so I did some research and found that the weekend AFTER Mother's day is Step-Mother's day.
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