i'm gonna get all sappy here for a sec...
Lately i have really been missing my mom. It has been a little over 2 years since she passed away and i guess i just find it strange. I have lost other people very close to me, but it seems like i think about her more than others. Mostly just remembering small things about her. Like the way she would always wake me up for the school bus when i was a kid. Or how she made the ABSOLUTE best french toast i have ever had in my life. She had this old music box on her dresser that i used to always sneak into her room and wind it up to hear it. Just those small moments that individually may not have really meant much at the time. Now, i am clinging to those memories because i;m scared they are going to fade. Sometimes it's hard to remember her voice in my head. It's frustrating.
I think for me, the hardest part was not being able to express to her how much i cared about her. Or how great of a mom she always was to me. I was out of the country at the time she passed away and i didn't know untill almost two weeks later. I don't really have a question or anything..maybe i just wanted to type some things about her. It's nice remembering.
"I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes, - and the stars through his soul."- Victor Hugo
Being a spiritual little being
What you wrote was beautiful. I have no doubt she heard you, and has heard you since passing.
If she was here she would have said to you " I know". Mother's know.. When you liked that French Toast you would have shown it in your face and all the things you loved about her, she felt and she would have known.
You couldn't help be where you were at the time and I am sure she knows that too.
Thanks for sharing, but know in your heart that she knows...
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Next month will be 31 years since my mother passed on at age 44. I understand your feeling of loss, it takes time for it to subside. I still miss my mother at times. It is particularly odd to think that I and all my sisters, who are younger than me, are now older than she lived to be. When I think of my mother I am thinking of a younger women - strange. Cherish the good and know that shw would want you to find joy and love in your life. It is right that over time many things fade, it would be too difficult to carry it all forever. But you will find echos of her throughout your life. A scent, a bit of music, a phrase -will bring her to mind. If a child some day, you may be surprised to find little reminders of her there, a gesture, a look, at will show you that your mother has passed something to next generation.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
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