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The fact that you are so filled with doubt seems to me an indication that you should give it some more time, you've got plenty.
I need advice, confused and not sure
I am almost 23 years old and my husband just turned 26. We have been together for almost 4 year and married for 2 years. We both know we want children, and sooner than later. My husband says when it happens he is ready!! I have no problem with that but sometimes I wish someone would just tell me when I should have a child. I mean I know I want kids soon and I am totally okay with having a child now. My problem is I think way to much. I know you are never ready for a kid but when are you ready enough? It seems like every time I am like okay we are not completely ready but I think we could be ready enough something happens and I am like I am glade we don't have a child right now. Like the other day I thought okay we could be ready soon, and that night our truck messed up and it is going to cost money we don't have to fix it. It just feels like it's signs telling me no you are not ready. My husband says that even if we did have a child when all this stuff happens we would get through it and be fine. I am just so lost and confused. Maybe that in itself means I am not ready for a child???
Thanks for listening
The fact that you are so filled with doubt seems to me an indication that you should give it some more time, you've got plenty.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Agreed. You're so young, what's the harm in waiting a few years.You'll both be more mature people, and your finances will probably only improve... IMO, waiting for now will only ensure a better life for your future child.
If I were you, I would simply enjoy the time that you two have together, just as you two are. Maybe travel, or do something that would otherwise be very difficult with children.
Once you have a child... it's forever. Or... at least for 18 years, anyway.
Personally, I would wait and enjoy my time for a couple more years. But the truth is that there will never be enough money, cars will break down, people will get sick, stuff will break, etc etc... people make it work all the time on much, much less all over the world. You'll be just fine.
If you are unsure and have doubts I would wait and enjoy your marriage.
"When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us."
Helen Keller
I was with my Husband (then boyfriend) for 6 months before we started talking about kids. I got pregnant 6months later while on Yazmine BC). Sometimes it is hard to know when is the best time I was 28 and he was 27. He had a good job and I was going to graduate from the University. I was three months pregnant when I walked the stage. We had to move from our place to his parents as we couldn't afford it since the roommates got the news and moved out. When our daughter was 4 months old he was fired from his good job, I lost my job and we were still living at his parents house. Three months later my husband landed another job; 6 months later I landed a job. We got married, then I developed a heart condition that cost me my Job. It has been three years since i lost that job, I still have the heart condition, I just found out I am pregnant again-again (miscarried), My husband is up for a promotion and we are still not ready for children. As you already know you are never ready. I say if you both want kids and say what will be will be than stop using any form of BC and go for it. Sometimes to get out of the plane you need the instructor to give you a push. If you stop using BC and it happens than I guess the instructor gave you that push.
My dad always says you can never be ready for kids, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have them. I so badly want to start a family and I've been asking myself a lot of the same questions you have been asking. In the end I decided I don't need anyones permission (except for my partners of course lol) to have a baby and that we'll just make the best of it. I think in the end you'll be fine, people have a natural instinct for survival
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