I JUST WANED TO LET U KNOW THAT IT SOUNDS LIKE U ARE A GREAT MOM. YOU KNOW, I WENT THRU SOMETHING SIMILAR, BUT INSTEAD OF IT BEING METH IT WAS ECXTASY. TWENTY YEARS OLD, I WAS PARTYING A LOT, ACTUALLY THAT TO ME WAS MY LIFE-PARTYING. IF I WASN'T SMOKING WEED OR GETTING DRUNK THAN I WAS JUST BORED!!! WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS PRGNANT I FELT SO OUT OF PLACE. I THOUGHT OF ME NO LONGER "HANGING OUT." I THOUGHT ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND, (WHO NOW IS MY HUSBAND) HOW HE WOULD BE GOING OUT WITH OUT ME, ETC. I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THE BEAUTIFUL GIFT THAT I WAS BEING BLESSED WITH, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND I WAS IMMATURE AND I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER. WELL, THE PEOPLE WHO I THOUGHT WERE MY FRIENDS WERE REALLY JUST ASSOCIATES, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. BUT i WANDER IF I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THE SAME?
JULY 17,2002 MY BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL CAME INTO MY LIFE AND i'VE NEVER BEEN THE SAME. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY "SHE GAVE ME LIFE," I SAY JUST THE SAME. I CAN'T SAY I REGRET HAVING HER WHEN I DID, BECAUSE ONLY GOD KNOWS WHERE MY LIFE WOULD BE IF I HADN'T HAD HER WHEN I DID. I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THAT THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, (I KNOW NOT EVERYONE FEELS THIS WAY,BUT I DO.) WHO KNOWS WHERE YOU WOULD BE IF SHE DIDN'T COME INTO YOUR LIFE WHEN SHE DID, (IF YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING SO.)
I ALSO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR GOING THRU AS FAR AS STAYING HOME AND LIVING THE SAME ROUTINE DAY IN AND DAY OUT. ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO I WAS FEELING DOWN, AND I'M ALMOST SURE THAT I WAS DEPRESSED. i WAS WORKING A PART-TIME JOB AT THE TIME, WORKED IN THE EVENINGS AT A MORTGAGE CO., AND I HATED IT! I FOUND MYSELF ALWAYS WANTING TO SLEEP DURING THE DAY AND I FELT LIKE I HAD NO ENERGY. I FELT LIKE I WASN'T BEING PRODUCTIVE. I FELT LIKE TIME WENT BY SO FAST DURING THE DAY, AND SO VERY LITTLE TO SHOW FOR IT. I KNEW THAT STAYING HOME WITH YOUR CHILD WAS A GREAT THING, AND I KNEW THAT LOTS OF WOMEN WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT, BUT I JUST COULDN'T ENJOY IT. I DID FEEL BAD FOR NOT WANTING TO STAY HOME WITH MY DAUGHTER DURING THE DAY, AND AT THE SAME TIME I DID NOT WANT TO SEND HER TO A PLACE WHERE I THOUGHT SHE MIGHT NOT BE TREATED WELL.
WELL, MY SCHEDUALE HAS CHANGED SINCE THEN. I WORK AT MY CHURCH AS A SECRETARY, AND LUCKILY ENOUGH, SHE IS ABLE TO COME WITH ME. I LOVE THE FACT THAT I'M GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE DURING THE DAY, AND STILL BE ABLE TO TAKE HER WITH ME. I FEEL LIKE I'M ABLE TO APPRECIATE HER SO MUCH BETTER. I DON'T THINK BEING A STAY HOME MOM IS CUT OUT FOR EVERYONE, AND BECAUSE OF THAT WE SHOULD'T FEEL BAD.
I KNOW THAT I HAVE RAMBLED ON ENOUGH, BUT I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT AS A YOUNG MOTHER MYSELF, I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR GOING THRU. IT'S NOT EASY, BUT I DO BELIEVE THAT IT WILL GET BETTER FOR YOU. IT WONT ALWAYS BE LIKE IT IS RIGHT NOW. HAVE FAITH, AND BELIEVE, AND WATCH IT ALL WORK OUT FOR YOUR GOOD.

You don't have to give up your life goals because you have a little girl. Go for your dreams. Go back to school. There are so many distance learning and online courses that you could work around your daughter's schedule. Look for a small daycare with a low number of children or a family home day care situation for a lower risk of illness. Less kids=less germs to spread. Even if you only go to school part time at first, you'll feel like you are working toward a goal for the future.

I am 27 and just had my first baby, but even I had these types of feelings at times. Really, I think ALL moms have those moments when we almost wish we were back in the "old days" before we had children. But then, we look at our kids and know we would never give them up. Feeling that way once in a while is natural, tho.
You made a huge life transition, and you were very young, so you will feel some doubts. I think you sound like a GREAT mom, though!!
I agree that you should keep your dreams. Lack of excitement could mean that you are yearning for something more each day. Just because you are a mom doesn't mean you are JUST a mom ~ you are still you, your same ambitions, dreams or goals are still within you.
If you are interested in college, which is a great way to grow yourself and gives you a goal to work towards and can be exciting, online classes are definitely a great choice.
I am a stay at home mom with my one year old, but I take online college course with University of Maryland UC. (UMUC). I plan to teach. Taking classes is so fulfilling to me, I love it, and I love the interaction with the students online. It helps me to remember who I am besides just mommie or just wife. It is something ultimately to benefit us all, but really is for me.
If you decide to possibly work part time and put baby in daycare, that also would allow you to have some time out of the home in professional environment. Then you can recall some of yourself. I know it's work but it's still you-time without caring for baby 24/7.
Whatever you do I wish you the best luck!!

Well the opening says most of it. Honey it is normal to go through this. I can remeber being 21 already had my second child. She was two months old. I finally sat there crying for two days. I was lonely, I felt isolated, I had gained more weight since the pregnancies than I did being pg. I really did not know where to go or what to do. My Husband is in the Navy, we had just moved away from everyone and everything I knew. He too wanted me to stay home, said no one else could do a better job than me. But I felt like I was drowning and no one was seeing me slowly slip under the water. I was nursing my little one, she was only 2 months at the time. He told me to call LeLeche Leauge. Best thing I ever did. I went to this group of strange women, all were nursing. Then someone else started talking about how isolating and depressing it coud be stay home with the children and no adult interaction and no procieved growth. I WASN"T ALONE!?!? They talked about getting involved in other activites. So we did. Le Leche had a once a week play group. Finally went back to church, the had a womens morning, I found all sorts of stuff to do. I made friends who were like me. I too had been doing drugs when I found out I was pg with my son. I was 19, had my next right after 21. After about a year, I had 3-4 activties a week they where all at 10 am, till about noon. Home at nap time, Me and some friends started declaring Mom's night out once a month. We would take really small nursing ones, go to a movie then somewhere like Ruby Tuesdays for appatizers, then we just moved straight to desert. We talk we laughed we got real. Sometimes I would not get home till 2-3 am I had not taken or drank anything. We just talked and laughed till our sides hurt. The coolest part was, I finally found out who I am, not a worker bee like everyone else in my family. I learned to be happy in my home and to be happy in Motherhood and not run from it, and turn into a workaholic like my Mom and sisters did. I tried the online courses, but I needed interaction with humans not more computers! So look around your community, look for groups I had to find free navy did not pay well enough for groups that met at gymboree.. Places you can look Le Leche League if your nursing, MOPS (mothers of Preschoolers)( they have a website that will tell you places and times) MOPS is great, Mommy's go to there class, where they talk about parenting stuff for a bit, then you get to eat yummy food, and make fun crafts with other moms of preschoolers. The little bits join the MOPPET program, where they get to play and be around other kids, they meet normally everyother week. YMCA's sometimes have groups. Join a womens bible study if you want, they often provide child care and you can talk to other women. If you like scrap booking join a scrapbook club, sewing club anything you can. One lady I know actually went around her neighborhood posting signs, and started her own group. Find other Mommies, and Other Little ones, it will amaze you the peace, ideas, and reassurances you will find. The coolest part was I survived and quite happily too. Yet some of those women I met when my son was 20 months, and my daughter 2 months, are still some of my best friends. They are now 12, 10, and I even added another boy and girl to the batch. Because I finally knew how to be happy and be a Mom, and feel like I could make a difference. I know you posted this a few months ago, but I hope it works out. Let me know how it goes.

Growinupinfl
because we are all still growinup

I just read your post and that sounds like the best idea. I am still dealing with this. I was planning on going back to school, but life got a little crazy for a while. We moved a couple times and now we are finally settled back into normal life. I am getting a little anxious again. A group or something like that sounds like fun to me. My mom was a Navy wife to. I grew up on military bases. She was a stay at home mom to. I think that she just learned to live with depression though. The feeling of being stuck in this house makes me not want to have any more kids. My daughter is 2 1/2, and I want her to have a brother or sister, but I don't know if I can start all over again. Maybe if I found something to take up my days, it wouldn't be so much. Anyway, thanks for all your responses!

omg.. i kno exactly how u feel..im 20 and have a 2 almost 3 yr old and a 1 yr old...my got married at 17 almost 18..i love my life..but my husband works full time nad i barely ..work ..i hate asking for money ..soso0o0o00o0 much....i feel like im traped inside our house..i like count the minutes til he gets home

I know, asking for money is the worst part of it! I have been cleaning the firehouse once a week for $200 a month. Its not much but it is something. This year was the first year that I could buy him a christmas present with out using his money! I am sorry you feel like this, but its nice to know that I am not the only one! Some people stay home with their children and love it! I guess some people don't! Not saying that you don't love your kids. Just that stay-at-home mom doesn't work for everybody. And daycare has never been an option to me. First, it cost a lot of money. Second, your kid always ends up sick. Its hell to me. I hope that things get better for you. Maybe start doing some group activities at a community center of something. That was a really good idea!

I've seen a few similalr threads, so please bear with me if this sounds repetitive to you! Any help would be much appreciated. I am 21 and have a ten month old son. I lived in Europe for the last two years, went to university, had a very well-paying job, partied endlessly. I got pregnant when i was 19, and although my boyfriend was initially very supportive, he left two months before our son was born. I returned home to Canada to live with my parents, as I didn't want to bring my child up in a crowded, dirty, expensive city. And life just seems to have ended.

I don't seem to have any motivation any more - I don't think I'd get out of bed if I didn't have to! - and my motivation should be my son, but I don't feel as though I've bonded with him in the way I should, and it terrifies me. I care enourmously for him, but I'm so frustrated at my ineptitude in getting my act together. I just feel so old - I love my son, but I feel as though I'm only going through the motions - it isn't what I truly want to be doing. I know that sounds terrible... but its honestly how I feel.