starting a family

**bel08** · 05-20-2010 12:23 AM

Hey everyone.
I am thinking about starting a family in the next year or so. I have wanted to be a mother since before I can remember but I have severe depression and a bit of schizophrenia. I'm worried about two things, how this will affect my pregnancy and should i worry about passing it on to my kids? i'm pretty sure i'd know the signs but i'm still scared. does anyone have kids with schizophrenia? i'd also know what if feels like to be pregnant, what it's like to see your kid for the first time and just other stuff like that. i'm nervous but i want to start a family so badly.... i guess i also just would really like someone to just say 'hey it's okay for you to have a baby'.
gosh i feel silly and teary now....
thanks for taking the time to read my post and i hope i get some replies!! xxx

**sourpuss** · 05-20-2010 07:38 AM

Pregnancy and parenthood feels different for everyone. For some pregnancy is a breeze, for some it's miserable. Just depends on the person. Parenthood is the same, for some it's terrifying but I think for everyone, it's overwhelming joyful.

As far as the medical/genetic stuff, that's something you should definitely discuss with your doctor.

**Little** · 05-20-2010 10:52 AM

Talk it over with your doctor. Make sure your depression and schizophrenia are being properly and completely treated and can continue to be treated through your pregnancy and for the next 20+ years. It's not fair to a child to be raised by a mother who is showing symptoms of mental illness. Only by keeping your symptoms under control can you be a responsible mother.
Pregnancy is a roller coaster. You hear things but can never really know what it's like until you're in the middle of it (as I am.) I had no way of knowing I was going to be nauseous 24 hours a day for 2 months straight, or that it would go away as quickly as it came. Had no idea how much my heart would jump at seeing that little baby bean on the monitor. There are a lot of things to consider, like whether you can keep working though your pregnancy (by the time the nausea, if you have it, begins to wane, you'll soon start to show,) what kind of leave your job has, whether you can count on your partner (hopefully we all can!) etc.
In the end, no matter what any poster or doctor says, it's up to you. If you have your life under control and can emotionally and financially deal with a baby responsibly, and you want to be a mom, I think that's a good enough combination to turn you into not just a mother, but a GREAT one. There are a lot of people out there who don't give it a second thought ... your foresight is a mark that you may be ready to make the leap.

**bel08** · 05-24-2010 09:44 PM

thanks sourpuss and little. yeah i will definitely talk to my doctor. in the next couple of years i probably won't have to work, trust fund and all that. so i will have have the time to raise a kid (or two). as for my schizophrenia and depression, they're pretty much under control right now. might have to tweak medication during pregnancy though but i've already talked to my psychiatrist about that.
i guess i just have to wait and see what happens in the near future, but yeah i think i will be just fine

thanks for the advice!!

**Little** · 05-25-2010 05:06 AM

Medication is something I kind of forgot about ... my doctors wouldn't even give me an Rx for antibiotics when I had a UTI until I came into the office. In the first trimester, it's really easy to do harm.
Medicines for depression and schizophrenia probably fall into the "do more good for the mother than damage to the fetus" category.
Definitely talk it over with your doctor. S/he's going to be the only one who can really tell you how your medications would affect a growing fetus.