Wow. Ugh, tough situation. Well, you're son is young and you have him the majority of the time so that is good.
If you're ex is like you say, this won't last long.
Just be sure to reinforce with your son that you are his mom and you're not being replaced. Sounds like he understands that, even at 3, which is good.
I know how hard this situation can be. I am going thru something similar at the moment. As for the "Mom, Mommy" distinction? In my eyes it sounds like a testament of his love for you that she is only "Mom" while your "Mommy" I have noticed that "Mommy" is a term of endearment my oldest.
MamaTigerof2 says--- smile when you're sad, lift up your chin when you're down. When you hit rock bottom, remember you can only go upwards.
"Don't settle for nothing more than someone you can live with. Settle for nothing less than someone you can't live without."
I can't offer any advice but only support. I would DIE if my son was calling some woman Mom, mommy or whatever. I am his mother, I gave birth to him and I will love him more that she ever will. The fact that they've been together 4 months? oh NO! You also need to get her number for safety reasons. If she has your son, you have the right to be able to contact her. If my hypothetical ex wouldn't let me contact the person who has my son, I would contact a lawyer and get a court order or something. I wouldn't abuse it though..
Sorry you have to go through this... I would be severally unstable so I'm not the best person to offer advice!
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