Thread: Behavioural disorder7yr old

Ok my second eldest Jake is 7, and has an emotional behavioural problem of some kind. For instance, i got a call from school today to come and pick him up, He had thrown chairs, and climbed on tables, broke other kids projects they had been working on (which i was devastated to hear, and i broke down ill explain a lil more why in a mo) biting kicking screaming, he is 7! and has been like this since he was a baby. It sporadic, and he goes through fazes. He is generally a lovely boy, most people dont see the jake i see. Who is kind, and loving, and extremely caring. But he goes from being sweet to crazy in about ten seconds, everyone asks me what the trigger is, there isnt one, he just flips out.

I get this call usually once a week and to give the school their dues they never give up on him. He was kicked out of the previous school he was in and his preschool. The headmistress said its a discipline problem! and that i should discipline him more. (She is an oldschool nun and wishes corporal punishment was still in play at least she comes across this way, lol and she was a nun)

Over the last few years he has been allocated a social worker, and she has been good thus far, but lately for the last six months she has been ill on and off almost constantly, my doctor referrred jake and instantly recognised some kind of behavioural disorder upon meeting him, happened to be having one of his off days thank god, as otherwise he wouldnt have believed me. I am on a waiting list for a year now, and hoping soon something gets sorted, he has tried to set the house on fire (totally my fault for leaving my handbag down) . Another waiting list for a psych to see if its all in his mind, and can be solved. And tbh i am fed up of waiting, his behaviour gets worse and he hurts others and himself, myself and other half have been speaking about it, and if he doesnt settle come december we will fork out for a private tutor and teach him at home. He is great one on one, as long as he gets regular breaks, for instance, he will sit and do his homework, but it takes an hour to get twenty minutes worth done with the breaks.

I am dead against slapping or hitting, as i thinks it condones voilent behaviour and have managed with it thus far, plus jake on a rampage, believe it or not he would not feel it.

So these calls and suspensions add mountains to my stress, im just back from a weekend away and feel great, but walk straight back into this, also on top of having horrendous periods, and my daughter is on an off week with her sensetive tummy, and my lilun has just started running instead of walking LOL. I feel whacked out, and totally out of my comfort zone, i no longer know how to deal with the behaviour, i tried varous things, like time out, and taking away toys, even throwing some away on the worst days. The worst thing about it is, he says he doesnt remember or doesnt know why he does these things, he asks me to teach him how to be good,

He has isolated himself so much, he has no friends at school, he is never invited to parties and parents avoid us like the plague. There is nothing worse than hearing stay away from him, and the kids responding, thats Jake, he is the most horrible boy that kind of thing, other parent wont speak to me, and anytime there is an incident, i make it my business to go and apologise to other parent. I broke down this time, as i have simply had enough, of people telling me how bad he is and how this and that. I cant get the assesments pushed any quicker and my social worker is no where to be found, this is wexford, resources are limited.

The docs and myself went through months of dietry, and watching anything that triggered it, and finally we had to seek furthur help. I feel unspported, and let down by the local help organisations. I have three other kids to mind, and they suffer due to this constantly and forever love them for their patience and understanding.

I simply dont know where to turn, or how to discipline my child if thats the right word, i dont know what im dealing with. The doc is thinking adhd or aspergers syndrome. But we cant concrete anything until the diag with the assessment.

i cried in the supermarket today, with all four kids shopping, i was mortified. And abandoned the trolley in the middle of the store and went home. I think its starting to depress me all this stress u know. xx any insights?xx once again, love this site your all lovely. x

lol, rural ireland i think has some catching up to do, never heard of menstrual cups here in my life, how bad is that? lol, yeah i guess ill demand something off the doctor, i will give it a try, cant hurt. Ill let you guys know when i have. God knows, ill crack up soon if i dont get support of some kind