Thread: Considering kicking out my 17 year old.

Originally Posted by Lunar Keiki

Do you think he is suffering from depression? He sounds like he just can't get himself motivated. He really can't get a job in his field of interest without some amount of training, but he doesn't seem to want to go to school even for that. Are you talking graphic arts? Could he maybe just take one small course through adult education or Parks and Recs in Photoshop or Photography? Could you maybe take a course together? What about exercise? I know he is older, but what if you go walking together to get his blood flowing? I dunno--I am reaching here because I so feel your pain and I don't know what I would do if I were you. I feel like I so could end up in your shoes so easily.

Yep, I did suspect he was depressed last school year, talked to his psych about it and they prescribed him anti depressents. He took them for a little while and they seemed to be helping a little. Then weeks later I found out he decided to quit taking them and had been lying saying he was taking them. I busted him by tracking the amount in the bottle. He said he didn't feel depressed anymore and didn't want to take them. Seriously, I have spent the majority of my time and energy on keeping track of every aspect of his life, his lies, punishing him, talking to him, arguing with him. Taking him to doctors, counselors, school teachers, tutors, football coaches, etc, etc, etc. He sabotages every last one of my efforts, and I mean apparently on purpose. He has been really, really hard to raise, and I have been doing it since I was 17 alone. I am tired!!!!!!!!! I also have a 3 year old, and am too the point that I want to start focusing on him and not my 17 year olds drama.

Firstly, this is quite common. He's still very young. Kids go through a "wasteful" stage in their lives, but if they are intelligent they break out if it later on. Do you love him? Strange question I know. But it is important. If you do, then you may have to accept him for a while as he is, and not how you would like him to be. Because this is what this is all about. You're measuring him to your own ideas of what a young lad should be. My daughter has been like this recently and I 've had long discussions with her mother about her. In the end, I want my daughter to be happy in life, and not to be what I want her to be. This is the unconditional love lesson that we all have to learn with our children. Be patient (you obviously have in droves) and give him lots of encouragement and leave out the criticisms. Imagine if he were to die tomorrow(God forbid this) how would you feel?