Understanding Mother/Daughter relationships

**Maximus** · 12-16-2010 06:06 AM

My gf and I have a daughter of 2.5y old.

My question is about understanding how mother and daughter relationships are built,
especially how the mother lives this relationship when the daughter is so different from her.
No physical attributes to "identify" one self to one's offspring.

I am always surprised when my daughter calls her mother "mum", because the visual recognition is not there, so there must be something deeper built during the pregnancy and after.

It would be great if I could have some insights on the nature of this relationship, how it is built, what are the steps to make it grow.

I will conclude by adding that, although I didn't carry her per se during the pregnancy, we have a very strong relationship...and sometimes I worry to overshadow the mother.

Thanks.
V.

**pretzel** · 12-16-2010 06:39 AM

Coming from the father of two, I can tell you that there are certain things in life that are just unanswerable.

The bond between a mother and child is one of them. It's a gift that is nurtured through the womb and is unique.

Enjoy that your daughter and her mother have that bond, have that gift.

**WildChild** · 12-16-2010 07:46 AM

Ummm, the parent child relationship has nothing to do with appearance. Nothing at all. That child grew and lived inside her mother's body. They went through the birthing together. Men seem to vary widely in their grasp of birth. Some are connected prior to the birth, while others seem almost shocked that all of a sudden there is another being in the room. It's as if they the baby wasn't real to them until it was born.

A pregnant woman has no doubts that the baby is real. I played with my children before they were born, read to them, talked to them. My daughter was more responsive than her brother. She would push a little hand or foot on the inside and I would gently push back from the outside. I could feel her delight at the response. Her brother, a couple years later, was not as active in he womb but made up for it later. The mother child relationship starts as an aware process long before the baby is born.