Thread: Bullying.... I need some quick advice.

I think I would see how it goes now you have spoken to the child.. If it happened again, I would tell the parents. Have a chat with your little boy and tell him to tell you if they say/do anything else to him.

Originally Posted by LanaBear

Okay, so yesterday, my 5 year old (kindergarten) gets off the bus in tears, my 10 year old and his friends following him. Apparently, there are some "problem" kids (2nd graders) on the bus and since they are problem kids they have to sit in the front seats next to the bus driver. The kindergartners also sit up front.

Well, apparently on the way home, these two boys started calling my 5 year old names. Now, my 5 year is not one to tolerate mean kids and can and will hold his own, however, this bothered him and by all rights should have. He got off the bus absolutely devastated and crying his eyes out. On the walk home he told me what happened and I told him that I would talk to the kids in the morning and also the bus driver, he said he wanted me to take him to school.

So this morning, after the boys got ready, we hopped in the car and I stopped by the bus stop. Me and a few other moms ALWAYS walk our kids down to the bus stop and we are also there to pick them up to make sure there is always some adult supervision down there. When the bus driver stopped, I talked to him before any of the other kids got on the bus and he is actually a very awesome bus driver and said they've had problems with these two and he would deal with it.

When I turned around, I saw one of the kids there, I told him that I didn't appreciate him feeling the need to pick on a kid 2-3 years younger than him and that it will stop. I told him that not just my son, but NO child deserves to be called names and that I plan on talking to the school and his parents about it. I asked him if he understood me and he said Yes and proceeded to get on the bus. I wasn't mean, but I wasn't nice, I was firm and had a don't bullcrp me tone going on.

My question is... Would you talk to his parents? A friend of mine lives next to him and his parents, so I know where he lives. One of the mom's said she wouldn't bother, but she's also kind of mousy, another mom told me, absolutely, yes talk to the other parents. I'm in the yes, absolutely camp. If it was one of my kids, you bet your butt, I would want to know about it, but I'm also not looking to cause a cat fight. I'd simply just talk to him mom or dad and tell them out of respect for another parent, this is what happened and I felt they should know so that they could handle it how they saw fit at home. This wasn't the first "incident" with these kids, but I'm guessing they don't know that. In the same breath, I also know there are some parents who really don't give a rats behind about how their kids act, etc... So...

To talk to the other parents or not... That is the question.

Thoughts?

PS... My husband is in the don't talk to the kids or the parents camp, I believe. He thinks it will just cause problems and then they will (the kids) give my kid a ration of crp for "telling his mom". My thought is, well, hello, HE'S 5 and in kindergarten, OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO TELL HIS MOM!!!

I would wait to see if it happens again. If it does, even just one more time, I would definitely talk to the parents. No child should ever have to undergo bullying; especially at school since that is where they spend the majority of their time. I was bullied at school when I was younger because I had cleft-lip and pallet and was made fun of all the time. My mom would talk to the parents privately. I think it is important for parents to be aware that their children are bullying other children.

Hi, I would talk to the parents at least because you told the boy when you were being stern that you would. I find that anyone in a position of authority who says they'll do something then doesn't actually do it tends to make those being spoken to think that person is a bit of a push over. So, that boy could have come away from you talking to him thinking 'huh I'm not bothering that little 5yr old again, his mother is this scary woman who lectures you and tells your parents on you, it sucks'. Then, when he finds out you didn't actually do anything you said you did (talk to the school, talk to the parents) he might think 'hah! she's not scary at all she's all talk' and think he can get away with things a lot easier.

It might have been some time ago now, but you could still approach the parents and say it happened last week or something.

I'd say another thing is how you approach the parents. To the parents, whether they care or not, you talking to them could come across as saying they're bad parents and saying they should sort their boy out - which they might not like. However, if you do it a different way by telling them what happened, telling them you spoke to their son and that you told him you'd speak to them about it, then asking them if they could mention it to their son just to reinforce things, they make take to it better. It's similar but it's sort of less accusatory and more asking them for their help. I'd also say make sure their son doesn't overhear your conversation with his parents - he'll feel like he has inside information where he should be sat worrying what's being said about him.

Hope I helped.