Thread: I asked my 9 year old if she would be upset if I left her father

You need to be able to make the right decision for all involved and you ultimately need to be happy for your children. Kids are very in tune to your feelings and tension in the household even if you are trying to hide it.
My parents have only separated 12 months ago, I am the youngest child and am 25 years of age. I think sometimes it is worse being adults and watching your family separate and fall apart because being an adult means a lot more of the burdens are placed on you. The last 12 months has been a very tense, emotional battler for my family. It's not been pretty.
Everyone wants to put their child first but I think sometimes you need to be able to put yourself first to be able to better provide a happier environment for you daughter.
I agree with the majority of post and you need to find your happiness. Maybe speak to a counselor, get some advice from an outsider.

Children learn to Cope(however u spell it). I can tell you from experiance that staying is not always the best option cuz you dont just hurt yourself but your children to and its a lose situation anyways. Ive been through this but as the child, Im the oldest of three. Im now 22 and at the time my parents split i was 18, brother was 14 and baby brother was 7. Me being the oldest i saw all my parents problems, which involved cheating from my dads end. My mother put up with everything that my dad put her through for my brothers and i and she was so unhappy always crying. She wanted to give us a "family" which to everyones eyes was perfect in every way financially, etc. But as me being the oldest i always saw how much my mom cried and hurt and my dad wasnt happy also. Finally 2days b4 christmas of 2007 she left him. Dont get me wrong it hurt me seeing as my mom who was with my dad for over 24yrs was crying, watching my little brothers cry broke my heart and also seeing how much my dad changed with us. Its like he left her but he forgot about us also. i constantly have conversations with her since she is always depressed and sad, breaks my heart but at times i see her happier then when she was with my dad. But she always says that if she could go back in time she would leave him when she first found out he was cheating to prevent all the pain my brothers went through and she did. The seperation of them made us closer as a family, and as sad as it sounds to say my brothers and i are fine without our dad.

Your daughter is young and she will get over it quick, i saw it happen with my brothers and some cousins. Mothers tend to do everything possible for there children, that they forget about there happiness. Dont get me wrong i appreciate everything my mother did for us, but it was not good for her physically, emotionally, etc... I honestly think its best to leave now that they are younger and not wait 20years like my mom did. My mother isnt old she just recently turned 41 but shes been through alot and honestly you dont want to end up with putting up with that and giving up the best years of ur life just like my mother did. I kno i wouldnt because of what i have seen. sorry i know its kind of long, but i made everything short and left out somethings, just hope this helps a little