Thread: Fighting at school

I'm in mamma bear mode. I was really wanting to lash out at the principle. She was no where to be found when I got to her office. They had my son finishing his lunch in there & it took every thing I had not to break down when I saw him. I'm so angry that this happened.

I know fights are going to happen, but hitting and choking someone who's not fighting back is just... Urg! I wish I had been there! I would have dealt out a way better punishment.

Have you discussed charging the child with assault? I have no personal experience with this, but it seems the school might "snap to" if they realize there is a real problem here that they have not prevented.
I also don't know the feasibility of assault charges - though they seem warranted - and that's something I'd like to know for the future, if anyone can give input.

No matter the consequences to my son, (age 11), I tell him to never start a fight. But to never back down from one either. I also tell him that if the other kid hits him, KO the other kid. I've taught him to fight because others picked on me in school and I won't stand for him to go through it too. He has my same in your face attitude when pushed around.
These teachers who ignore the bullies and punish the bullied kids needs an old fashioned tail whipping like their parents had. My wife is a former teacher and she told my son to ignore them, well that approach doesn't work - it creates another situation like Columbine. I teach my son to fight back and don't let up until the other kid knows he could have had the poo beat out of him. We don't play around in this school at all. Had one kid punch my son and my son beat the snot out of him- that solved that problem. Another kid tripped my son on purpose, I saw it happen. My son got up and knocked out a few teeth and that solved that poo eating grin on the other kids face. For some reason the others are afraid to pick on my son, can't figure out why?? And beware the boys that pick on girls, my son gets involved to help out the girls. He hates boys that pick on girls.

Originally Posted by Little

Have you discussed charging the child with assault? I have no personal experience with this, but it seems the school might "snap to" if they realize there is a real problem here that they have not prevented.
I also don't know the feasibility of assault charges - though they seem warranted - and that's something I'd like to know for the future, if anyone can give input.

If the kids are charged with assault, nothing gets done. They sit in detention and learn that detention is all fun and games and they get labeled as the tough ones on the block. That just makes the problems worse. The bullied need to fight back, some only learn through pain. Bullies get away with a slap on the wrist and it goes downhill from there, but if they get their tails beat they learn that being a bully hurts like nothing else.
These schools are going in the wrong direction as usual and later the prisons will be full as usual with bullies. Why am I the only one that sees passive action as the Wrong action? Society is building a world of wimps and bullies. What happened to the good guys that stopped the stupid poo?

I called the school back and just got off the phone with them. She said kids can't be charged with assault until they're 10. Like Mark said, I don't know if that would help anything. I told her I knew she couldn't tell me about the other student's record, but wanted to know how they handled reoccurring behavior like this. She said they would call CPS if there were continuous problems. I made sure to tell her that I didn't think an early summer break was proper punishment, but I didn't know what other options the schools had.

She said she understands that this is upsetting and shouldn't have happened & blah, blah, blah. I want my son to be able to handle himself, but I shouldn't have to worry about him being attacked at school. She said in elementary school, they're still trying to work out what special needs each kid has & make sure that they get the right placement. All I can say is, my son's handling this a lot better than me.

I think the site itself is causing the double-posts, as it seems to be happening to a lot of posters lately.

I certainly don't disagree that kids should fight back - I was probably saved from a lot of physical bullying because I was fought back. But that doesn't help a small or weak child who gets pitted against a larger or stronger child, it doesn't help them when they get over the age of 10 and get charged with assault themselves because they beat the snot out of somebody who pushed them (not saying it's right, but I know it's possible,) and it certainly doesn't help them when the bullies resort to emotional abuse instead.
Certainly it's upsetting and shouldn't have happened - so what do they plan to do about it in the future? Obviously, nothing. Calling CPS is not a solution.

My son's nowhere near the smallest in his class. He has a different temperament than most boys his age. He's rowdy sometimes & will rough house, but he won't purposefully cause someone harm. I hope he learns the difference between fighting and self defense. I don't think I should even have to worry about it when he's at school, but this is the real world & ever class has at least one bully. I'd be more than willing to fight his battles, but I can't always hold his hand. Hopefully he'll see what problems he's up against & learn how to deal with them.

It broke my heart when he told me who did it & that he thought they were friends. That makes me think this situation is different than a problem with a bully.

I was talking to my friend about how I wished I had been there. I was with him yesterday for their track & field day. I asked why it couldn't have happened then. She says it was so I would not go to jail. Lol