When to become a mom

**leana@ikapa.co.za** · 07-10-2007 06:03 AM

I am 25 years old and will be getting married in 2 months. I want to know from married women when is the best time to start with a family. I really would like to have children but I am not sure when. Everybody tells me that we need to wait at least a year to get use to each other and the idea of living together. Are they right?

**DANIDOLL** · 07-11-2007 03:54 PM

Well I'm 20 and married for the last 6months and no we do not have children yet. but this is what we have decided if it helps. My husband is 4 yrs older than me and wanted to wait until we are financial secure and achieved certain things in our lives first like going to europe. Im still young by all means and that sounds terrific also we are on the right track finacially. we own a house and he just got a 20% raise andI am starting a new career. But my goal in life isnt to make money it is to be a good mom and wife. I want to have my children before I get to far into my 30's and I want 4 children with preferably 2 yrs apart. we talked it over for a long while. we know we want to wait at least a yr so that we have had that time together being newlyweds before we add a baby to the family and we came to the conclusion that we would wait till I was 22 to even try having a baby that way I would be 23 before I had it and if something was to go wrong then we would still have time to figure things out before it got diffcult and to late in life. I know this was long but I hope our thought process can help you make your own decision.
Dani Doll Harris

**louieann34** · 07-12-2007 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by leanaikapa.co.za

I am 25 years old and will be getting married in 2 months. I want to know from married women when is the best time to start with a family. I really would like to have children but I am not sure when. Everybody tells me that we need to wait at least a year to get use to each other and the idea of living together. Are they right?

I think it is right to wait just for a year for you to get pregnant after your marriage...Its not that for you to get used to each other...It is because for you to enjoy first each others company...Going out, watching movies, and anything that both of you will enjoy.

Hope this helps your question...Take care and God Bless.

**patricias213** · 07-12-2007 01:59 PM

I think you should take time to enjoy some alone time with your hubby, go places, take romantic vacations, just relax and have fun. Having kids takes up alot of time and attention so i say enjoy your marriage for a while first. Be sure that you are financially stable and both of you wants a baby.

**JubesInquest** · 07-12-2007 02:33 PM

I think the ladies are right.

Just enjoy each other's company for some time; then consider having children.
They do take a lot of time and attention, and you'll be dealing with that until they are grown!

Let me add that no matter how much you PLAN to have children, you are never ready for the things that come with babies!

But you learn as you go along.

**patricias213** · 07-16-2007 03:02 PM

I just wanna add that in time you will know. I have been married for 2 years 4 months, lived together for 2 years before also. We are now expecting our first in november! Its something that we both planned for and we are now ready for that.

**alibaby** · 07-17-2007 07:35 AM

Everyone is right about waiting a year or so before having kids. When we got married, hubby wanted kids right away, but I wanted to wait a year. Well, I got pregnant on my honeymoon due to a 'pill malfunction', so he got his wish. What could have been time for us learning to live together as a married couple was spent preparing for a baby. We didn't really have time to transition comfortably into married life. Every situation is different and life can throw us some surprises, but if you can, try to enjoy being a couple as long as you can before having kids.

I wish you all the best with your marriage.

**virgo1981** · 07-27-2007 06:48 AM

yeah i agree wid all! you shud wait atleast for an year! njoy life's experiences... ups and downs of married life.Sometimes to have a baby just after marriage creates unwanted issues. Get married, discuss wid ur husband see how much time u guys would be able to give to ur child!Because I think its only the time which a child needs.
Have a baby when u really feel that u shud have one as i have seen ppl who give birth to babies just coz they shud have one aftr mariage and then all there life gets disturbed and its whole of the family who suffers and blames the poor child without any reason!.

All the best and njoy life!

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Try to live out your honeymoon for as long as you can.

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