You Know when You have THAT feeling?

**Lady In Red** · 11-16-2011 01:27 PM

Well I did......Something about my 19 yo daughters new BF. I just couldn't shake it, I talked to a few friends and my mom about it. But could not really pin point it. They all gave me piddley reason why I felt that way.

Well my daughter just found out she has genital herpes! She cried and I'm staying calm, I'm the one she cries to, I pay for her RX and Dr. And play it cool......What I really want to say is "didn't I teach you anything"," Didn't you listen to the Dr when she told you the shot didn't stop STD" "Do you know what condoms are for", "Can I meet him in a dark alley!" I feel bad for thinking these thing. And the BF comes over last night and acts as if everything is just fine and dandy. I want to grab him and rip his penis off and shove down his throat. Just 20 mins before she was crying it hurt so bad when she went to the bathroom.I can't even tell my husband(her step-dad) he will hurt him! HELP.....I have never hated someone so bad.

What happens from here? What effect does this have on her life? The "break outs" how often does that happen? I'm don't know what to tell her? This is sooo not what I wanted for her in life. So fill me in, what do I need to know.

P.S. and this may be a stupid question but I really have no clue can anyone get it from the toilet when she has break outs?

**Chicklit** · 11-16-2011 01:49 PM

I'm so sorry you're both having to deal with this! I'm not medical professional, but I know a few people who have it. They have all been told by their doctors - condoms do not always protect against it. They can decrease the transmission rate. Some people are contagious (called shedders) even though they are not having outbreaks. You can catch if from something like a towel. Did the BF know he had it? The education out there on herpes is terrible. He might have thought that if he only had one outbreak and it was years ago, he wasn't contagious until it happened again. My friends are leading happy, healthy lives (active, have kids, etc.) and I'm sure your daughter will too. I hope you can get some good information about it from your doctor so it won't seem so overwhelming.

**lizzardb63** · 11-16-2011 02:52 PM

As much as I know and understand your need of ripping his penis off...you need to remember that your daughter is 19 and an adult and able to make her own sound decisions. Unfortunately, even at 19, people make stupid decisions. I am 26 and STILL make stupid decisions sometimes. Not all the blame is on him (as I know you stated and realize your daughter is also at fault). Let's hope in this case that he didn't know and that he didn't do it while knowing and didn't tell her. You probably won't know those answers, but for now I think being supportive and being there for your daughter is what is best. What's done is done and there is no way to take it back. Only thing to do now is move on and try to look cope with it the best you can.

I also agree with Chicklit, speak with a doctor and get as much information about it as possible. Treatments, prevention (for future bf's) and coping strategies. The best of luck to you.

**lizzardb63** · 11-16-2011 02:55 PM

It's very unlikely that you would get genital herpes from a toilet seat. Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) spread by skin-to-skin contact. In most cases, the virus enters your body through mucous membranes — the type of skin found in your mouth, genitals or anus. The virus can also enter your body through skin that has tiny scrapes or tears.

People can have genital herpes for years without knowing it. The virus can be spread even if an infected person has no genital sores. Because the virus dies quickly outside of the body, it's nearly impossible to get the infection through contact with toilets, towels or other objects used by an infected person. (From Mayo Clinic)

Myth.
You can contract genital herpes from toilet seats.

Fact: The genital herpes virus dries out when it is exposed to air, and is quite fragile. There have been no proven cases of genital herpes transmission from a toilet seat. (Herpes Resouce Center)