They are testing my 9 yo on the spectrum. He has always been quirky and different and has some issues that have been present since birth.

I personally do not have a child with autism, but I am in close contact with two children on very different ends of the autistic spectrum and I have to say, my life is much richer since I have known them.
Autism is such a varied and individualized "disorder" (I really don't like using that term, but I don't know another way to put it) and you never know how far someone can develop beyond their intial placement on the spectrum. For me it's been a blessing and great teacher to have experience with people that have been diagnosed with autism. My best advice would be to seek out a support network of other people that have been through this diagnosis and find out the many rays of light that can often be overlooked at times like that.
Best wishes for you and your child.

The short description you gave of your son reminded me of my older brother. He is 10 years my senior and while he has had to overcome many obsticles through out life he is a certified genious and a succesful engineer for the state of colorado. Not to worry. Your son will be fine. It could also do him some good to find him a mentor. My brother had one we met at church. He would come up to brother every sunday for years and say hello to my brother and give him his hand to shake untill one day my brother opened up to him and they are still very important to each other.

i often work with kids on the higher functioning end of the spectrum - i would recommend the book, "thinking in pictures," by temple grandin. she's a university doctor with autism, and wrote what is regarded as the very first in depth first-person look at the condition. she talks about her experiences, habits, reasons for specific behaviors - and it's fascinating.

knowing nothing about your situation, i would just tell you that if your child is diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum, your challenge will be to consistantly - and constantly - determine the appropriate break between accountability & accommodation.

children with asperger's, for example, often act rude, insensitive, and selfish - when in truth they don't understand social cues, read body language, or experience emotional empathy readily.

but yet, like all other kids, they will also tend to be selfish at times - with or without the asperger's.

i have seen the most damaging situations to these children arise not from parents who fail to be understanding of the condition, but more often from those who are so understanding they fail to "parent."

these kids desperately need boundaries that make sense - which will be hard to learn, because what makes sense to them may not to you. they exhibit a lot of the same traits - especially in young years - as kids with OCD.

rambling a little here - any specific questions?

school - and middle school, especially, is often the most destructive time for these kids.

I have a friend with autism, and it's not a disorder to me, it's something that makes him, him. Everyone has problems, no one is perfect. I have numerous problems, but that's what makes me, me.

I hope your child gets the best of help regarding this though, to an autistic person, the world is such a scary place...

P.S

I'm also in a special needs school where we have children from all ages with different problems, autism being one of them, and the children there are just adorable! I love them. They are so special and precious.