Thread: Kids, friends, and mother's intuition.

I don't think this sounds normal. Middle school children shouldn't want to play with Elementary school children, unless perhaps your son is only separated from him one or two grades. Even so, it doesn't sit well with me.
How does your son feel about this? He may feel just as uncomfortable as you. Since you say he is shy, maybe he's waiting for you to set boundaries for this boy?
How well do you know the boy's mother/parents? I don't know what grade middle school starts where you live, but it doesn't seem reasonable to leave a 6th-7th grader home alone with no supervision whatsoever. The boy's relationship with his mother/parents may be strained for some reason or another that you have no way of being aware of.
He could even be autistic; he can't distinguish facial patterns that denote mood or nuance of meaning. Autistic people usually blend in very well with "normal" people; it's very difficult to tell that they have a personality problem, but you realize that their personality is different.
I suggest that you try to talk to his parents. Maybe you could find out something more that will help you decide what kind of boundaries to put on this friendship.
As it is, I think you're doing the right thing by creating limits. Of course, I'm not a mother, but I'm saying it as a former shy child who often had bullying "friends." Let us know how it works out.

My son is about two years younger than this kid, but because kindergarten starts earlier in our old neighborhood, he is a year ahead of the other kids, the youngest in his class. They are one grade apart. I have asked him about what they do when he's over there. He says they pretty much just play video/computer games. My husband got on the other kids case about not playing outside, so now if he knows that Hubby is home, he will play outside for a little while, and then ask if my son can go to his house or play at ours. His mom seems to let him talk to her in whatever tone he wishes, which Hubby has also got on his case about, and he's commented that his dad does "nothing" with him. I speak to his mom every now and then...neighborly chats and her occasional request for us to watch him. Maybe he's trying somehow to escape his home life or trying to get something over at our house that he doesn't get in his own. You mentioned bullying...I never looked at the situation in that way, but I guess you can bully without necessarily hitting someone or always saying mean words...the point of bullying is to have power over a person and make them conform to someone elses will (the coaching)...and he is bigger (lightbulb moment ). I'm glad that you told me about autism, because I see some of what you've described. I will have to look up some info.

He was sitting on the sidewalk waiting at the bus stop again today, asked to play with son at his house. I told him 'we would see'. But a schoolmate came and asked my son to play outside. It was a totally different scenario.

Thank you for your response. You gave me some things to think about.

Dear Alibaby,

I really don't think there is anything wrong with the little boy next door. He sounds like a child sent from heaven!! I know it can be really irretating when someone is too nice, it just doesn't seem normal! Put your son in this little boys shoes. Imagine he sat at home alone, day in and day out, and when Mom & Dad get home they are too tired to pay him any attention. And who knows how long this has been going on for. This little boy sounds very, very lonely and he is clearly looking for some kind of attention. He is so eager to please all of you. Give him a chance. Set clear boundaries for times & days he can come and play, how long they should play outside for, how long on the T.V. games etc. Who knows he might end up being your sons best friend for life!!

Dear Alibaby,

I only joined today and have just noticed that your post is actually a year old already!! My luck you have probably moved as well!

Oh well, this whole giving advice thing made me feel better anyway.