Thread: New Mother Blues

funnily enough, my first was his daddy's son. No one else would do.
It was his father's fault for always carrying him around, as if they
were joined at the hip. I warned my husband not to do it. Leave
the child, stop making the child so dependent on him, but he
never listened.

I am sure my first son is the way he is...(screwed up) due to
his father's treatment.

There is going to come a time in your life when you can't
be pandering to the child. You might work, you might be
somewhere else, the child might be in school...
this dependency on one person is destructive, and anyway
you can end it...do it now.

I'm sorry but i don't find this destructive, i find it to be normal behavior of an 8 month old baby. I have 4 children and they all went through it. my oldest is now 8 and loves to be with his daddy. Assure your husband that this will pass. Maybe not now, maybe not in a week or a month but as long as he is involved in his life and continues to show him love and affection, he will reap the benefits, even if its not for a little while. Your son is a baby, he will be 8 in a blink of an eye. don't worry yourself about this, please. Love him and continue to build his trust in you as a safe place and he will get past his dependency. For now just wallow in the old saying that no one is better than mommy!

Hi there, this is my first time in the forum. I have a 10 month old baby girl and went through something similar. She wanted mostly to be with me and cried when she saw "strangers", I'm talking grampies here. But there isn't really a reason to be frustrated. A lot of babies go through some sort of separation anxiety at about the 6 month mark...so I've heard. This helped me just expose her to others a lot, but always making sure that if she needed me she could count on my comfort. I'm sure that with time you have to help your child gain confidence and independence, but that is done gradually, depending on the child's development and age. I don't believe you should ignore a crying baby. I think it can only create more anxiety. Whether its mommy or daddy getting the cold shoulder from baby, believe me, it will pass.

I have three.

The first, the father made dependent on him to
the extent he cried for his father exclusively.

When his father carried on with his life, the child
felt rejected although he was surrounded by family.

I avoided this with my second, so that he was
virtually comfortable with anyone, and my third
is the perfect example of a cheerful outgoing
happy child, because I enforced the 'open'
relationship so that she would not feel dependent
soley on me or her father.

The first married and divorced and seems to
have a trust problem

The second married, made me a grandmother,
seems very well balanced.

The third is getting married, and her confidence
is enviable.

Making a child too dependent on one person
turns out badly. In Sanaii's case, it is her.
She must wean the child from her, no matter
the crying, the reluctance, eight month old
children...even new borns are usually 'friendly'.

Eight months is old enough for the child not
to be so insecure.

I've had to deal with a lot of babies in my life; not just mine.

The confident baby grows up to the be a confident child,
and a confident human being.

Most babies are social. They are held without crying by
everyone. A friend comes over, the baby has no problem
even though he/she has never see that person before.

You can do a test, just go to any pedatrician's office and
see how the babies behave. Most don't mind going from
hand to hand. Most don't have any fear of people.

here's the story,

I left my boyfriend for two weeks to visit his mother in baton rouge,la i left april 10 came back on the 25 th but before i left i counted the condoms that were in the bathroom. we have a 7th month old daughter. i came back and assused him of sleeping with someone. because i looked at the phone bill and there was all these calls why i was gone it turn out to be a girl. I called him up and was like what is this calling you for. he said what , i said heidi he said that his friend was using her phone and the he was doing some air condition unit at her condo's and that i guess his friend phone was messing up. i said to him that i dnt care if its your friend calling from her the phone and the text need to stop and if she calls the shop or your phone im ing gone!! he says that he loves me and doesnt want to be with anyone else and ive talked to a few other people and they say that all he talks about is how much he loves me.

my boyfriend has his own business and its a motorcylce business and he has to drum up business by going to the bars. we had a baby and started up a business and move to another state in all one shot. he' always stressed out trying to provied for us. and since we moved out here i have know friends or family and im always checking up on him to see where he is since we moved out here. im always at hm with the baby. when we got in the fight he said if he wanted to around that he could anytime,but he says that he loves me and wants to be with me and wants to marry me someday and we have been together for two yrs may the 4th. i dnt know what to do anymore. his mom says that he talks about how much loves me