Thread: Messy/Unclean Daughter

I am sure part of this is puberty, but even when she was "younger" she was a mess...now with new body odor and all it is not working. But I suppose only time will tell if she grows out of this. I sure hope so!!!! And yes Alibaby, POOR TEACHERS. My mother in law is a teacher in elementary school and she says it is really amazing how the kids come up there smelling up the place and think nothing of it!!! They pass out clean packs (deodorant, soap, toothpaste &toothbrush)....guess the kids don't use them .

I can't imagine as a kid my parents telling me to clean up my room and simply ignoring them and not doing it. My dad would have my hide! No one has addressed the fact that you have mentioned more than once that you tell her to clean up or bathe and she doesn't.

How did you get to the point where your 9 year old gets to pick and choose when to listen to her parents and when to dismiss what they say.

When I was a kid, we were told to clean our rooms. So we went and cleaned them. Right then and there. No questions. Then my dad would come in and 'inspect' if it wasn't up to his standards he would point out the things that needed to be redone. Then we would go and do another once-over. It got to the point that we just did it right the first time to avoid the hassle of my dad flipping out when he came in to check.

I think you just need to put your foot down and say hey, clean up and stand there and make her do it. When she gets out of the shower, if she's not clean enough- make her get back in and wash again. Stand there and make her put on deodorant. Eventually, she will get sick of you standing there watching her every move and she'll just do it on her own to avoid the situation.

You know Sourpuss, you are soooooo right. I was talking to my mom and I don't know how I have allowed this to get as far as it has!!!! I was sooooooooooo NOT like this when I was younger, I WAS a straight up tomboy, BUT I came and cleaned up and was fresh. My room was ALWAYS in order. If it wasn't my parents would seriously have my hide. I am going to be like her shadow...I am sure she will get sick of me being there, or treating her as a child....that's what she said I was doing when I started brushing her teeth again. But maybe that's the ticket out of this mess!!!!! We'll see i will keep ya'll posted.

Yay! Stay strong. It will be hard and she will hate it and be mad at you, but stand your ground. It's for her own good!

I am sorry but this comment about your daugher immediately made me feel that you are attacking your daughter for making you feel uncomfortable about how she is growing up, if she stinks (as you put it) maybe she needs alittle more advice from her mother instead of resentment.... it almost sounds like your jealous.... talking about her dirty panties ???? It comes across that you just don't want anyone else to see that of her, if you were a single mother you would never even think twice about that...
I have a 13 year old girl and i have a 6 year old girl, and my older has body odour and so does all the other girls, boys in her class, i have even talked to her teacher who will relay that holding her nose is a daily practice.... because all kids go through this, so your daughterr does not have to feel alone... it is natural for kids becoming young adults to go through this change.... maybe you need to re-go through the change and remember you smelt too at one time...
I am sorry if i offend anyone with my comment, I am just trying to understand why a mother would feel so ashamed about her own, ( and i think only) daughter...

Wow pointblank, you are soooooooooooooooooo far off base!!! I LOVE my daughter and by no means am not jealous, or ashamed of my child. I am NOT uncomfortable about her growing up, I KNOW she needs to grow up and I am going to be there for her no matter what. Me telling her she stinks is me telling her as her mother. i'd rather it be me telling her than some little kid, or some boy she likes (because she is starting to like boys). If someone wants to send there kids out there smelling like they worked in a field of onions then they can, I don't want my child to be one of the children that is talked about by the teachers or principle.
And me being jealous of her dirty panties PUHLEEEZ. Get a life. If you don't understand me not wanting someone to come over my house and they have to go thu her room to go to the bathroom and she has her nasty, used panties sprawled out on the floor, then something is wrong with YOU! Idon't want to see anyone's dirty drawers, that's nasty. I don't need to go through the change again, I remember smeliing under my arms and if I wasn't fresh then I took and bath! I did stink and at times start stinking now and I take a bath!!!!! And FYI I have been a single mom for 4 years before my husband and I reconciled and even then I didn't want my kids dirty drawers all over the place. What the h*** does being a single parent have to do with that???? And another point I have two girls and two boys.
I have so much more to say to you, but I'd be done wrote a book. Good day.

Have you tried teaching her in a loving way instead of making her feel like s***! I have read all of your posts and if I were your daughter I would feel like a piece of ****. I bet she is extremely depressed and doesnt love herself enough to clean herself or her room.. Her outside appearance is reflecting what she feels inside. From what I have read you have been mean to her. No wonder she feels the way she does. Just be a loving, attentive mother without breaking down her self esteem and violating her privacy. She does not need you to be in the bathroom with her. She needs her privacy. I think you would get a lot more accomplished if you told her that she is beautiful and to let her pick a pretty scent of deoderant and pretty bath soap and to have her pick her own bra and underpants. If she is still wetting the bed she could have something wrong with her bladder... Did you get her checked? Another reason why kids will wet the bed is because they are afraid of something.. (Dad etc.)