I live in the state my husband has grown up here in, and so I sent my daughter to the pre-school that my nephews and nieces went to since that seems to be the thing in his family. No problem.

I really only have one very good friend here, and she made the decision to send her sons to the same preschool that my daughter goes to - her younger son and my daughter are best friends and in the same class.

Typically what happens is that when the children are in pre-k four (they start with pre-k three), the kids start getting invited to classmates' parties, because the school is small and they all end up in the same kindergarten class, first grade, and so on. They grow up together.

Now that its January I've been noticing that my daughter hasn't recieved any invitations to parties, and today my friend said, oh, is your daughter going to Thomas' birthday party? I said no, she wasn't invited. So she said, well, probably just the boys were invited. But it turns out that her son has been invited to THREE parties already. And one of them was a little girl who my daughter runs around with every day after school!!

I am in tears right now. I can't believe this. I heard the school had tight mommy cliques and the moms can be very catty, but I'm one of those people who's just like, oh whatever. But I do get a very cool vibe from alot of the moms that I've just occasionally spoken to here and there. Also, because I just have one child, women have actually dropped me from conversation, as though having one child doesn't count! I really thought it was my imagination at first, but then it happened to me for the third or fourth time yesterday while I was speaking with two other mothers. One is always friendly, and the other I never spoke with before. But she said, do you have any kids in the upper school? And I said, no, I just have the one. Her eyes literally instantly turned to the other woman I was next to and she directed the rest of her comments to her! I felt like a fool.

I am furious right now that my daughter is being shunned and I have no idea why. I am shaking. I immediately want her out of this school and into public school next year if this is the ridiculous **** I have to put up with from these other mothers.

How badly am I overreacting?

You are not behaving badly. You are acting like a Mother that loves her child. LadyLane people are cruel. They pick on who they want to pick on. Life is a clique. It stops nowhere. It happens for no reason. Protect that child. Don't let her get hurt. She is the most important.

I just wish years ago that I would have home schooled one of my children. Not that anything was wrong with her, but that certain children made something wrong with her. Possibly from a parent or who knows. Or just possibly because she was cute and many children do not like other cute little girls. Then my husband was not a doctor and had the money of some of the parents and all these things go together. Just guard her. It is important because if a child feels cast off they will then go to the circle of other cast off's and that is where trouble can begin. What you talk about is a story of life. But it sure does hurt.....I sympathize with you....

Put her in public school! I went to public school my whole education and I'm in college now ... public state school.
There will still be "those mothers" with "those kids" who drive you crazy. "Those people" are everywhere. But if your child is being punished socially for your "mistakes," she'll most likely be better off in a public school with normal surroundings.
Look around for one school that's better than the others. Even within a county, things can be very different. One school will be better than another, newer, cleaner, with teachers that care more.
If this is your gut feeling as a mother, you're probably right. Talk it over with your husband.
I hope you can come to the best decision

You are right. This happened in a private school. I wish I had that time back...

I feel that you're a mom that only wants the best for her child. You didn't say anything bad about the teacher or the school, and you never said that your daughter is miserable as a result of not being invited to these parties. So it sounds like your daughter is ok and the school is ok but the other moms don't want to talk to you for whatever reason. Whether you keep your daughter in her current school or send her somewhere else, you could find these 'mom cliques' anywhere. Something that has helped me get 'in' with other parents is getting involved in school activities, such as chaperoning class trips or volunteering to help my kids teachers. I could care less about being a member of a clique, but I have found that my kids have been invited to more playdates and parties as a result.

Thanks ladies, for responding so fast. That's exactly it; I just want what's best for her. I don't want her being cast out or punished for anything that has to do with me, ever!

I know there will be cliques everywhere - this is a small place, sooo many of these people went to school with each other, are related, etc., and have known each other for years. I'm like the new girl. I try to be friendly without being "desparate friendly" but I really just get shut down. I remember thinking when she was starting school that the social atmosphere for me would be like starting high school again. I was popular in high school, but I didn't want to revisit it, if you get my drift.

My daughter loves her teacher, loves the school - they've been exceptionally supportive with my husband's cancer last year - and she loves her classmates. Her teacher adores her and I will say that she may favor her a little bit, because my sister-in-law taught with her last year and took my daughter to class with her several times while I was with my husband while he went for chemo.

So maybe I should just wait a few months, see what happens with invitations and so on, and then decide. Or maybe its ridiculous to entertain pulling her from a school because she's not invited to parties! My husband wants nothing to do with all the nonsense; he immediately said he has no problem pulling her from that atmosphere. I'm so mixed up about it; I have to give myself a few days to calm down.

I live in a really small town too and there was that same kind of ****
If your daughter is happy leave her be no you are not overreacting but if she likes the school then thats more important and when it really matters and is not up to the parents who gets invited to these parties then Im sure since she does have friends she will be invited no one will remember the pre k parties except the parents anyways..
Maybe you should throw your own party?

I can relate.(lol) We moved to another state, so it meant starting over for all of us. I still feel excluded and it's been almost a year. In the end, you have to do what you feel is best for your child. But unless you feel threatened in some way by these other moms, I agree that you should give it some time. You can't make people like you or invite your kid to parties... Having your own party and inviting your daughters friends sounds like a good way to 'break the ice'. Or how about just inviting some of her friends over for a playdate?