Hi all

I am a 30 year old mother of a beautiful 21 month old girl. I love my baby and would do anything for her.

My baby sleeps in my bedroom (has her own baby bed) and refuses to sleep in another bedroom. She falls asleep in my bed (more like in my arms), then I wake up later to put her in her bed.
Problem is, when we want to make love she has not fallen asleep and by the time she is asleep my hubby is also snoring away. More times than not, we both fall asleep before our baby does.

I enjoy romance and sex but this has put a strain on love making in the evenings or later at night. We have done tried sleeping out for a night or two but we can't do that every week due to hotel/lodge expenses. We have even sneeked out from work to have quickies at B&Bs. I am sometimes so horny but get to sleep without getting any. I am terrible at waking up and making love.

I would like to know how other ladies deal with this and keep your romance alive.

If you want a hot relationship and a good marriage my best advice would be to learn to wake up and make love...Once you have started this venture, you just may find, as I have, that it is the most erotic love making you can do...You will find that your man is more willing and his erection is strong....He is refreshed in the morning from a sound sleep and more of a man then he will be the rest of the day..This is why so many men wake up during the night and want their woman....This alone is how I turned my husband around and off Viagra...Just spooning to start and gradually the insertion of the male sexual organ into me...What started as playful sex turned into mind boggling sex and a game that I started, knowing what I was trying to do, became a sexual perfection as he turned into my stud all over again...He never knew what I was doing all these mornings...I praised him and he reacted like the man he has always been but was again awaken to woman.....He never knew how I was deliberately teasing him and this surprise became a sexual game that has stayed with us....

Even though you are not trying to awaken your young husband, this experiment that I perfected, has helped many women bring their lover back to good sexual performance...The secret is not telling a man what you are trying to do...Never put pressure on him and watch his pride as it grows....

Just my thoughts...xx Caroline

I know you were specific with regards to female feedback and hope you do not mind my comment.

My situation is very much the same as you describe and our window of opportunity (intimate encounters) seem to always vaporize before our eyes. Having a 16 month old and a 4 year old make for a busy day and night and my wife is understandably drained both emotionally and physically by days end.

We have started to be more proactive in scheduling sitters and dropping kids off at grandmas. This has been wonderful as it is something we both eagerly look forward to. The excitement building up to the encounter also makes it sooo good. Although the spontanous encounters are not as frequent, the idea that both of us are eager and commited to make the other person a priority has many bennefits to a healthier and fun relationship.

And I feel your pain with regards to going to sleep horney and wanting. It is tough, but remember Kids get older and our couple time will slowly come back. Best of luck.

Tim4family

Tim: My husband worked rotating shifts when our family was young, so this always gave us the time to stay lovers....BUT many couples haven't got an option such as you talk about and so many women along these lines get into some of the worst sexual problems that they will ever have.....Especially the ones that are fighting for their own sexuality to start........Not having all this wonderful sex that they should have and keep up and letting it go....................They soon forget to remember what they should have.....Orgasms become a thing of the past..........They struggle sexually to know themselves.............Sex becomes a chore instead of a pleasure..............And a wonderful love life goes to hel*.....

C

I'm a father of a 2 and a 1 year old. Get the child to sleep in another room. I really thought that this was going to be a problem but it really wasn't. It might take some time and a lot of patience but it's worth it.

Start off with placing your girl in her bed give her kisses and tell her goodnight and you sit next to her. Do not talk to her. Do not let her get up if she does lay her back down, repeat, repeat, repeat. Stay until she goes asleep.

Next night, same thing except sit away from her just a little bit. Do not let her up again.

Each night, repeat the same thing while you move sitting spot closer and closer to the door until you just put her down and leave the room. Should take you 4-6 nights. Each night should get better. My boy protested for about 2 hrs the first night.

Good luck

Hi to you all,

Thanks a lot for you suggestions. I will definately be using a combination of all you have told me.

CarolineWH - I will be waking him up. Sounds very exciting!!

damd - Thanks for the practical advise. She's at grama's for 2 days. I will implement immediately.

Tim4family - thanks for the light at the end of the tunnel!

Hi Sweet Lady. i think the people here made some very interesting points. i'm in a similar situation with my daughter except she sleeps in a different room and it has helped me out...a lot. i mean we still don't get the time that i would like with my husband, but time only shrinks when they get older and they demand more things. my husband and i try to spend time alone every monday and friday. it's hard...hang in there.