Family deliema

**Dixiegirl803** · 01-10-2011 01:46 PM

I have been doing a really good job watching what i eat, keeping a food journal, and running. Every time we go over to my husbands cousins house for dinner( which is every week), everything is so unhealthy i dont want to eat anything! To top it off they are both over 300 pounds, and get offended if you dont eat alot. My husband said to just portion control, but i feel like even small portions are unhealthy there! So i guess what im asking is, is it ok to eat at home, and sit there while everyone else eats (even though i know they will be offended)?

**sourpuss** · 01-10-2011 01:56 PM

I think eating beforehand is a bad idea. The best option in that situation I guess would be to be careful about what you eat that day (as well as the day before and the day after) and add an extra workout on days you know you'll be going there. Can you offer to bring a dish? If you offer in a way that you're trying to help cook rather than trying to make it healthier, it may be better received. Then you can eat what you bring and a small portion of what they have. But definitely don't show up and not eat.

**Dixiegirl803** · 01-10-2011 02:12 PM

Thanks for the advice! I think that is a great idea to bring somthing, and workout extra!

**LMA** · 01-11-2011 06:43 AM

I guess I have a different idea on this....why is it offensive to say hey people you are unhealthy and I don't want to be like you!? Ok, maybe that's a little harsh,haha, but I think people need to know and see that they are being unhealthy and maybe it would help them see it if someone made a point to open their eyes to it. If it were me, I would bring a salad and just eat that and just explain that you are living a healthy lifestyle and don't want to set back the journey you've begun. We often go out to eat with some friends after church and I've even brought my own salad and eaten it at the fast food restaurant they wanted to eat at. People may think I'm crazy but it's my body and I don't want to harm it for someone else's benefit and I guarantee you it got them thinking about what they were eating!

**WildChild** · 01-11-2011 08:19 AM

I agree with Sourpuss.
Lecturing or making snide remarks will not help anything. Instead show up with a nice crispy green salad, big enough to share and some healthy vinegar and oliveoil dressing. Eat small portions of other food, selectively. Maybe after the meal, enthusiastically say you going to take a stroll around the block, would anyone care to join you?
Let your lifestyle choices speak for themselves in your health, activity level and the sparkle in your eye.

**sourpuss** · 01-11-2011 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by LMA

I guess I have a different idea on this....why is it offensive to say hey people you are unhealthy and I don't want to be like you!? Ok, maybe that's a little harsh,haha, but I think people need to know and see that they are being unhealthy and maybe it would help them see it if someone made a point to open their eyes to it. If it were me, I would bring a salad and just eat that and just explain that you are living a healthy lifestyle and don't want to set back the journey you've begun. We often go out to eat with some friends after church and I've even brought my own salad and eaten it at the fast food restaurant they wanted to eat at. People may think I'm crazy but it's my body and I don't want to harm it for someone else's benefit and I guarantee you it got them thinking about what they were eating!

Because people don't like to have their 'faults' pointed out to them. Chances are they feel bad about the way they look even if they act like it doesn't bother them. Seeing her taking charge of her health can often times be taken as a personal attack. I think WC has the best advice. She has to remember that she's dealing with inlaws and there may be more at play than we know.

**CaveGirlEats** · 01-15-2011 03:08 PM

I have used a few strategies in this situation...my in-laws are Italian-a-holics and love bread, pasta, and hefty servings.

I feel lucky (in a perverse way) to have discovered that I'm gluten-intolerant. Many people are, even those not diagnosed as celiacs. So I'm able to easily skip the bread, pasta, and grain-containing items/desserts because of that. You may want to evaluate your own gluten intolerance by going on a 30-day plan where you eliminate such items. If you're sensitive, nobody could give you a hard time.

Beyond that, I see no reason not to set the example (graciously) of eating just a few bites of something, raving over how delicious it is, then being DONE EATING. They will never question your enjoyment if you complement the cooking liberally. If they want you to eat more, just say what I say: "I am so full! It was delicious...do you mind if I take a bit home with me?" Relatives usually don't mind, and you don't have to eat it once you get it home

**Maa** · 01-28-2011 04:22 PM

I have an idea. How about inviting your husbands cousins over for dinner sometimes. That way you can cook a healthy dinner. Sometimes people just don't know. Inviting them over for dinner is a great way to show them how to cook dinner. You can pick up some healthy snacks.

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