Please, I need advice

**newintown<3** · 02-15-2010 06:41 PM

I am 21 years old, 5'7" and 125lbs and I wear a size 34A bra. I feel really insecure about my chest size. REALLY insecure. I feel like it is so important to have bigger breasts in today's society and that nothing less can be considered beautiful. With all the guys who are so obsessed with boobs and the glorified beauty of the Victoria's Secret Angels, I feel like I don't come close to measuring up. I have been considering getting breast augmentation to be a small/middle C-cup but I am really afraid to go through with it. Not only would it make money REALLY tight (I really don't have the money to pay for it up front), but I have heard so many horror stories about it ruining your health! My fiance is very supportive. He would be willing to spend all that money with me for the augmentation to make me happy, but he has told me time and time again that he is completely happy with the way I am now. More than anything, he wants me to just accept myself and not care that
society is so obsessed with boobs and I wish I could. Other than my chest, I am pretty happy with the way I look and I would not want to change anything else about myself, but the size of my breasts override everything else and make me completely unhappy. I do not feel like a woman because I am so flat in comparison to other women and, even though my boyfriend is perfectly happy with me, I can't help but care that so many other men wouldn't give me a second glance because I have nothing there. Is that terribly selfish and shallow? The worst part is, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I can't get over the fact that I feel less of a woman because of my small breasts. I definitely obsess over this too much and I just don't know how to stop caring about looking like other girls. I really don't want to just resort to getting a breast augmentation to make this better. How do I start caring more about what my fiance thinks and less about what the rest of the world thinks? How can I get around the fact that society wants a voluptuous woman? How can I stop thinking about it when as soon as I turn on the tv or open a magazine it is EVERYWHERE!? I really need help with this problem and I would appreciate any words of advice. If you read all of this and/or are nice enough to respond, I sincerely appreciate it.

**Mes T** · 02-15-2010 09:51 PM

Here's the thing:

MEN LOVE BOOBS!

The size, the shape, none of it matters. And a guy's favorite pair of boobs are the ones that are "his," so to speak. Alright so he might like the look of a pair he sees on TV or in a magazine, but at the end of the day he wouldn't trade any of those for the ones the girl he loves has!

In terms of people noticing you, that's all up to your level of confidence and pretty much nothing else. A flat chested girl who loves who she is is going to get drooled over, but a big breasted girl who radiates insecurity is just going to push people away.

What precisely do you expect to happen if you get breast implants? Walk into a bar and get unwanted attention from the drunken rejects of society?

I don't see how this surgery would impact your daily life, except for the boost of confidence thing, which shouldn't have to cost money or harm to your health.

**Texinator** · 02-16-2010 12:50 PM

I'd write something, but then I'd just be plagiarizing what Mes said, so I won't.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-16-2010 02:45 PM

5 foot 7 is a great height.. Long legs... Cute bum.... Tops that larger women can't wear.... sexy in bikinis....

Mes says it right.. MEN LOVE BOOBS, full stop, regardless of size... Let's face it, they generally prefer other parts at the end of the day, with boobs getting very little attention!!!!!

Wear bras that have the cups lined.. They look alot sexier than hard rock boobs that don't get touched much and every other guy stares at, knowing they are false and then your man has to contend with too much attention.

Be real.

Be you.

CW

**sourpuss** · 02-16-2010 05:53 PM

I've recently discovered that men are more into shape than size. Correct me if I'm wrong Tex.

**Texinator** · 02-16-2010 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

I've recently discovered that men are more into shape than size. Correct me if I'm wrong Tex.

I don't know, I think it's like Mes said, men love bewbies in general. Some might have a certain size preference, some might have a certain shape preference, but at the end of the day they're really all wonderful. At least I think so. I haven't seen a pair that I thought of as ugly, and I find it puzzling and unjust that the media goes to such great lengths to make it look like men only care about breasts that are perky and humongous.

**Mes T** · 02-16-2010 09:57 PM

Yeah I hear ya.

But you know, boob preferences are like preferences of any type: In the end they don't matter.

For example I always imagined my perfect man to have thick dark curls and deep green eyes. My current boyfriend has neither and I wouldn't change a thing about him.

Alright, I'd have him shave his face more often, but that's beside the point.

**Texinator** · 02-16-2010 10:06 PM

I agree. Because having a preference doesn't automatically have to mean that the qualities that are not the preference are disliked. If you prefer thick dark curls and deep green eyes, you can still like other hairstyles and eye colors. Likewise, if a man says he prefers C cups, he can still be perfectly happy with other sizes.

To me, it's sort of like having to choose between a Ferrari and a Lamborghini. No matter which one you prefer, you'd still be extremely happy if you picked the other.

**Texinator** · 02-16-2010 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by newintown<3

I can't help but care that so many other men wouldn't give me a second glance because I have nothing there

Why obsess about something that isn't your problem in the first place The real issue isn't your breast size but that there are people who are so shallow as to base your value on your breast size. Does going from an A cup to a C cup make you a better and more valuable person? Absolutely not. Does having an A cup make you worthless? Absolutely not. So why should anyone suddenly pay more attention to you if you have Cs instead of As, unless they're shallow idiots not worthy of your attention?

**newintown<3** · 02-17-2010 11:37 AM

Thank you all so much for your responses! This is my first time posting ever and I am really happy to find out that people are out there who care enough to write back =) Everything you all said makes a lot of sense and I totally agree- why should I want to be getting attention from "drunken rejects of society"? (lol!) The thing is, I don't know how else to boost my confidence about this without changing it... Confidence really shouldn't have to come from getting attention from people who only like you because you have Cs rather than As, but I just don't know how else to get the reassurance I need. I wish that I could just have the reassurance from myself and my boyfriend and have that be enough but so far it hasn't worked. So, how do you all build the confidence that you have?

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