First of all, if you've never been pregnant please don't judge me...you haven't been where I am now! You will not understand (unless you do )

So I am 13 weeks pregnant and work a full time maintenance job. (taking mat leave sometime in September) I walk 8 hours a day and constantly moving (bending, lifting, side to side movements with a mop etc) But all has been fine until now. I am experiencing SEVERE hip pain in my left hip, swollen feet, back pain etc. Also BECAUSE of this pain I am starting to get really stressed out. At first I tried to suck it up and rubbed it off as being a whiny wimp. But now I have nervous breakdowns (my hair is coming out in clumps) before work because I don't want to walk into a dirty store (Wal Mart gets VERY dirty in 16 hours of being open!) then work my butt off until 7am, then that's when my pain hits...I am limping by the time I leave. (this is the psychological, hormone induced stress...the thought of working)

But the other girls on my team don't seem to care that I'm in pain (not looking for pity...this is the emotional stress). I have stopped doing other duties such as burnishing (floor polishing) which is run by a propane tank (constant exhaust in your face...so no) But of course that didn't go without some sighing, slamming stuff around cos I can't do it myself and making me feel bad (like..."now there's only TWO of us to burnish"....like its my fault!)

Then there's those days of switching back over to nights (I spend my weekends awake during the day then switch back to night schedule) that "Monday morning" (which is Saturday night 10:30pm) is so very hard on my body because I'm used to being in bed by then, but i have to stay awake all day, any naps taken during that day would put me out of whack and I am unable to work...then there's the "morning" sickness...ugh. So sometimes if I feel I cannot make it, I call in....which has been happening alot lately ( I know) So now it's a crime when I do it and I'm pregnant, but when they do it (for being drunk or hungover) they expect everyone to accept it. I had booked this Saturday off to be with family out of town and they made a BIG deal out of it.."such short notice" or "well geeze now I can't wax, this is why I hate planning this blah blah blah" I almost started crying...but it did not ruin my night (I did not let it).

It seems like my team hates me now that I'm pregnant...and I don't even want to go to work...it's not even the work, it's my "team"...how am I supposed to enjoy my job while being pregnant (hah the two don't combine very well with my job!) while my team mates are being uncooperative about my pregnancy? When I ask about it they just say "oh no I'm not mad...I'm just...(fill in blank)" but it's obvious they are growing more impatient with me.(even though I pick up the slack most of the time and do "chores" they don't want to do and stay late to let them leave)

I have talked to management about switching jobs to stocking shelves (I'll most likely do the lighter parts). I planned to go over as soon as our main team lead/ supervisor comes back from sick leave (I said I would stay because maintenance is short staffed) but that was supposed to be last Sunday...so now it's this Sunday (hopefully). So the Sup. asked if I could stay an extra week to help them catch up on waxing (the store floors are terrible) I agreed, but that was supposed to be last week...now I'll be on for ANOTHER week! My hair was returning to normal, but now, at the end of my work week, I brushed my hair and my brush was full of hair again...sigh...will this ever end???!!!

"S" is the most understanding of my situation and so is "K" (Sup.-to-be as soon as "S" goes to days) since both were pregnant before and in their 40s but still a little upset that I can't do much and I'm leaving Maint for a while (I'll be back on Maint. next September). I hate to leave them like that, but I've been sucking it up too long and now I'm uber stressed...almost to point of no return...ready to take early Mat leave....ready to QUIT!

So another day (tonight) and next week to endure (bite my lip at any attempts to make me feel bad!). Hopefully this will help with my stress...not so much for my pain...not much I can do about that. Hopefully I do not explode and end up saying something I don't mean (or do but best kept to myself) I am not a confrontational person by nature, so I choose to hunker down and take it. But with these hormones raging through me...can I help it? I sure hope so...

Thanks for listening and sorry for loooooong post

Any advice would be greatly appreciated