Chemical Pregnancy...Should I Tell Him?

**girlitalia** · 07-27-2009 11:16 PM

So, I just found out that I had a chemical pregnancy (very early miscarriage). I'm worried that if I don't tell him and just let it go, that it will come up in the future and he will be upset that I didn't tell him because I tell him everything...but at the same time, I don't want to upset him because we both wanted me to be pregnant. I've posted this question a couple other places and gotten some rude comments about being an idiot for thinking I should tell him. What do you think? Should I tell him or just let it slide and pretend nothing happened?

**WildChild** · 07-27-2009 11:24 PM

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by the term, chemical pregnancy. Who is "he", your husband, lover, bf? How do you know you had a "very early miscarriage"? Did you have a confirmed positive pregnancy test?

Perhaps you could simply state that you are disapointed because you thought you may have been pregnant but now know that you aren't?

**girlitalia** · 07-27-2009 11:30 PM

He is my boyfriend (sorry, I thought I had typed that). "Chemical Pregnancy" is the term for a miscarriage that happens when an egg is fertilized but doesn't implant properly and continue to develop. We thought I was pregnant via faint positive HPT, and then I "started my period", which was extremely abnormal....way later than it's ever been, way heavier, clotting, cramping, some spotting just before I would normally have started my period. We just assumed it was a false positive....but then the doctor told me about chemical pregnancy and thought this was what it was.

**Chantalemma** · 07-28-2009 08:25 AM

I am sorry for your loss. I would tell him. He deserves to know. I imagine that you are trying to get pregnant. I would defenetly tell my bf if I had a miscarriage.

**Hopeless Dork** · 07-28-2009 08:57 AM

To me it sounds like you need to tell him, not out of fear it may come up (since the doctor didn't diagnose it and your just gathering what happened based on symptoms) as it wouldnt come up unless you brought it up.

That being said I think there is nothing wrong with that. It has obviously affected you in some kind of way, even small... even if it just made you dissapointed etc.. you love him and share all your feelings so sharing that you believe you may have had this happen, might make you feel better.

**magamay** · 08-05-2009 11:40 AM

ok first off whoever called you an idiot for want to tell him should be smacked. thats a perfectly reasonable thing to tell him, its not something that could have really been helped (i had one a few years ago) but it would be healthy to tell him so you could have that time to grieve or talk about it together. either way its your choice but it sounds like you all ready want to a just need that final push into it

**Ahryin** · 08-05-2009 11:46 AM

I think you should tell him because you don't know if this is going to be a reoccuring issue. Also can I ask what made you and him choose to have a baby before marriage? I don't think you are an idiot but I do know that a child is a binding commitment and a very serious responsibility. How long have you and him been together? If you tell him everything this is something you should really communicate to him