My friend is pregnant, and I think i need to say something

**becko** · 08-13-2009 01:03 AM

It was her baby shower tonight. She came back in town (she recently moved) and basically I had a horrible day, and I am moving and I am stressed, and I think I ended up being kinda, uninterested today. Partially because I am distracted and was really frustrated with finding her a present. (I had picked some things off of her registry and went to go get them today and couldn't find them, turns out they are only available online and I ended up getting her a car seat base, but someone had gotten her a combo thingy, that included a car seat base) and partially because I am jealous of where she is in her life, and that I am not there. It is so silly, but I cant help but feel that way sometimes. So here is my question. Do I apologize for being mean, and tell her I am kinda jealous, or is that just not a good thing to do? It may seem like a silly question but i really dont know what to do. I feel badly. :-( Also, is it inappropriate to tell her what happened at the store, and offer to take back the car seat base, and send her the other things that can only be purchased online? anyone have any feelings on the topic?

**Little** · 08-13-2009 08:52 AM

Pregnancy is a difficult time for everybody, especially when you're young. Rather than get angry or be jealous, you should support her. If I were in her shoes, I would definitely appreciate honest dealings, as well as your attempt to get her something she wants and can use.
Kindness and honesty are probably your best route here, all around.

**WildChild** · 08-13-2009 10:08 AM

Tell you had a harried day and offer to exchange the item for her. Maybe the two of you could go together, do some shopping, have lunch and relax a little? Your jealousy and such is your own, unless you can share it in a positive way (I'm so happy for you, I hope one day you'll be coming to my shower) keep it to yourself.

**Hopeless Dork** · 08-13-2009 02:30 PM

If you two are close friends, its normal for you to feel a little jealousy over all the changes in your relationship as well as all the new and exciting things going on in hers. You don't want to make her feel guilty for her happiness, you wouldn't want her to do that to you. Definitely offer to exchange the base for another gift, babies are so expensive and you want her to have something she'll be able to use and think of you when she does. She'll appreciate it.

I don't think it would hurt to tell her that you are happy for her, and hope that someday you will have what she does. Say that you are sorry for being in a bad mood, it was a rough day for you in general. If a friend of mine told me that she envied something in my life I wouldn't be mad, It would give us a talking opportunity to help her feel better.

**Joy** · 08-13-2009 06:47 PM

Hey ya know we are all on our own kinda path in life and one day it will be your turn to have a baby. If you feel jealous that isn't her problem that is yours. Her whole life is changing with added responsiblities she needs all the support she can get.

as for the gift offer to exchange You are only human you can't possibly know that the gifts were only avialable on line. As for waiting for the last day........ you were probably dragging your feet over the jealousy feeling.

Ya know when she is up all hours of the night feeding a baby that won't sleep and her hormones are still all over the map... having baby blues.... you probably will be happy you are not dealing with that