Questioning Paternity while pregnant?

**jnd2009** · 11-22-2009, 01:50 AM

Has anyone here (or know of someone) ever questioned the paternity of either their pregnancy or their child? Also, would you have an abortion because of the fact that you don't know who the father really is? I just wanted some insight on other women's thoughts.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-22-2009, 02:42 AM

I think you can basically work out who the Father is, if you truly go back to whom she/ slept with at that time of conceiving.. If two men at the exact time? It would be difficult.

Impossible.

Until the baby is born.

People differentiate love from "being in love", even if "she" felt that she was "in love" is it real, or just the want to be loved/settling...? Only she/ can answer that.

That being said, does she believe in abortions can she live with herself after, she will never know the Father's identity if she does that.. She may be wrong.

It can always be a question, if in that situation of sleeping with different partners, having an affair.

Alot of women try to "trap" their man, deciding not to tell of their in-discression... and him always believing he is the Father, until something comes to light one day and he seeks to find and that is brutal. Un-fair and wrong in my opinion.

Lies creates lies creates heartache.

Honesty is always going to be the best policy.

Joint discussions is a must.

Doing something that you don't believe in will be a regret.

Loving a child as 50% of that being is the woman's, she needs to realise that, it is important.

I don't believe you can make a decision based on who is the Father? Because you will not know if you lose that little life. Then you will go through life, in the un-known, never knowing and it would destroy a persons soul unless they are heartless.

It boils down at the end of the day, to "do I want a child and can I support it and would I regret this, a life is a life but a choice is also a choice"

CW

lullaby Mom · 11-23-2009, 12:17 PM

I can't tell any thing about the paternity of a child but I can tell you this. As a strong advocate against abortion I would not in my life consider that. There are so many people in the world today you are unable to have children of there own who want a child to Love. Being one who has difficulty getting pregnant I thought of adopting a few years ago and can tell you that the list is long to adopt. I would say if you are unsure who the father is and don't know if you can do not raise the baby on your own that you should strongly consider adoption.

**LanaBear** · 11-23-2009, 12:37 PM

Ultimately it's a decision that only she can make. She can find out the paternity after the baby is born, as long as she can find the possible father to get his DNA as well.

So she either has to decide if she can go the 9 months questioning the paternity of the baby or can she go the rest of her life with the emotional ups and downs from having an abortion.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 11-23-2009, 01:02 PM

I'd say she should wait and get a paternity test once the baby is born. Might feel like the end of the world to not know.....but it's not. I'd say that if she's comparing.... her waiting 9 months to find out, then either keeping the baby or giving up for adoption vs baby losing it's opportunity at life........ ........well there's really no contest.

**jnd2009** · 11-23-2009, 03:10 PM

Thanks for all of the opinions. I am actually not pregnant, but my mind wanders way too much and I consider many what-if's, and of course getting pregnant is one of them. I never wanted to have an abortion, I always said I would keep my baby if that happened. In my situation now, I've considered many things- and let me assure you I would be devastated if I got an abortion- let alone I don't think I could hide it from anyone from me being so upset- especially since I've always wanted kids (now isn't the time but if it happens it happens) I don't think I could do it (an abortion), I'd have to step up and take actions for my wrong-doing. It would be hard because I don't want to break up either relationship if it was from guy #2 (we both are in 2 different relationships). From some research online- there is prenatal testing, but of course it has a hefty price tag.

**WildChild** · 11-23-2009, 03:21 PM

Apparently, it is possible to test for paternity during pregnancy. From what I've looked up, it has to be after the 13 or 14th week.

11-22-2009, 01:50 AM	#1
jnd2009 VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 50	Questioning Paternity while pregnant? Has anyone here (or know of someone) ever questioned the paternity of either their pregnancy or their child? Also, would you have an abortion because of the fact that you don't know who the father really is? I just wanted some insight on other women's thoughts.

11-23-2009, 12:37 PM	#4
LanaBear WH Moderator Breakout Champion! Moon Lander Champion! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Cinderella's Castle! ;-) Posts: 3,136 Blog Entries: 6	Ultimately it's a decision that only she can make. She can find out the paternity after the baby is born, as long as she can find the possible father to get his DNA as well. So she either has to decide if she can go the 9 months questioning the paternity of the baby or can she go the rest of her life with the emotional ups and downs from having an abortion. __________________ Sometimes life isn't the party we hoped for, but since we're here, we might as well DANCE! Life isn't about finding* yourself. Life is about creating yourself.* Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

11-23-2009, 03:21 PM	#7
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 7,874 Blog Entries: 6	Apparently, it is possible to test for paternity during pregnancy. From what I've looked up, it has to be after the 13 or 14th week. __________________ We can only learn to love by loving. Iris Mudoch, British writer

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Partial hysterectomy 13 years ago..questioning some things going on..	kelsey42261	Gynecology	0	04-24-2009 01:32 AM
Paternity Test for Peace of Mind	healthcareME	Sex	0	03-22-2008 09:02 AM
Paternity Tests	ChillingJ	Pregnancy	1	01-25-2008 08:47 PM
paternity tests	imported_bel	Pregnancy	2	08-24-2006 09:47 PM

11-22-2009, 02:42 AM	#2
CHANDLERS WISH WH Head Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 11,974 Blog Entries: 8	I think you can basically work out who the Father is, if you truly go back to whom she/ slept with at that time of conceiving.. If two men at the exact time? It would be difficult. Impossible. Until the baby is born. People differentiate love from "being in love", even if "she" felt that she was "in love" is it real, or just the want to be loved/settling...? Only she/ can answer that. That being said, does she believe in abortions can she live with herself after, she will never know the Father's identity if she does that.. She may be wrong. It can always be a question, if in that situation of sleeping with different partners, having an affair. Alot of women try to "trap" their man, deciding not to tell of their in-discression... and him always believing he is the Father, until something comes to light one day and he seeks to find and that is brutal. Un-fair and wrong in my opinion. Lies creates lies creates heartache. Honesty is always going to be the best policy. Joint discussions is a must. Doing something that you don't believe in will be a regret. Loving a child as 50% of that being is the woman's, she needs to realise that, it is important. I don't believe you can make a decision based on who is the Father? Because you will not know if you lose that little life. Then you will go through life, in the un-known, never knowing and it would destroy a persons soul unless they are heartless. It boils down at the end of the day, to "do I want a child and can I support it and would I regret this, a life is a life but a choice is also a choice" CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

11-23-2009, 12:17 PM	#3
lullaby Mom Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 15	I can't tell any thing about the paternity of a child but I can tell you this. As a strong advocate against abortion I would not in my life consider that. There are so many people in the world today you are unable to have children of there own who want a child to Love. Being one who has difficulty getting pregnant I thought of adopting a few years ago and can tell you that the list is long to adopt. I would say if you are unsure who the father is and don't know if you can do not raise the baby on your own that you should strongly consider adoption.

11-23-2009, 01:02 PM	#5
Beautiful Disaster Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: United States - Kentucky Posts: 420	I'd say she should wait and get a paternity test once the baby is born. Might feel like the end of the world to not know.....but it's not. I'd say that if she's comparing.... her waiting 9 months to find out, then either keeping the baby or giving up for adoption vs baby losing it's opportunity at life........ ........well there's really no contest.

11-23-2009, 03:10 PM	#6
jnd2009 VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 50	Thanks for all of the opinions. I am actually not pregnant, but my mind wanders way too much and I consider many what-if's, and of course getting pregnant is one of them. I never wanted to have an abortion, I always said I would keep my baby if that happened. In my situation now, I've considered many things- and let me assure you I would be devastated if I got an abortion- let alone I don't think I could hide it from anyone from me being so upset- especially since I've always wanted kids (now isn't the time but if it happens it happens) I don't think I could do it (an abortion), I'd have to step up and take actions for my wrong-doing. It would be hard because I don't want to break up either relationship if it was from guy #2 (we both are in 2 different relationships). From some research online- there is prenatal testing, but of course it has a hefty price tag.