5 Weeks Pregnant and SCARED... HELP PLZ!!!

**ScaredandExcited** · 01-14-2010 04:16 PM

Im 5 weeks pregnant, and im coming up to 17. My boyfriend is 20, and spends all his time at my house were i live with my mom and 2 sisters. My mom and dad are recently divorced, my boyfriend has meet my dad 2 times briefly, by bumbing into him. I dont really see my dad as often as my younger sisters, as i didnt really get on with him when my mom and dad were together. Since i was a small child ive always been scared of my dad, as he is very strong and bad tempered. He used to go crazy at me and hit me for little stupid things. When i was 16 years old my mom made me get rid of my first child, (termanation). It broke my heart and i still cry about it today as i didnt want to do it but felt i had to, to protect my mom, baby and myself from my dad, as i think he would kill me and the father of the baby. Now im in the same situation but i want to keep my baby, as i cant go through that again and adoption isnt a option as my boyfriend don't like the thought of it as his father was adopted. I want to keep my baby and im excited, im just scared to tell my family, my mom incase it brakes her heart when i tell her im keeping it and my dad when he tries to kill me, my boyfriend and mom referring to her as a 'bad mother' for me getting into the situation. I understand its hard, and you need money and the baby needs love, im willing to give my whole life up for my little angel growing inside of me and so is my boyfriend, its just my dad who is really worring me. Does anybody have any suggestions of what to do? Plus... I wanted to know if i could get a midwife, and keep it between the midwife, me and my boyfriend for now without my mom finding out, is this aloud to happen? or would my mom have to know? I love my mom to pieces, and this time last year when i went through that heart braking experaince, i watched my mom cry herself to sleep every night, and i couldn't bare do that to her again I NEED HELP!!! I will be so grateful if any of you can give me some advise, Thankyou so much x

**LanaBear** · 01-14-2010 04:30 PM

What is the age of consent where you live? Is boyfriend out on his own or living with parents? Have you told his parents? If so, how are they with the whole situation?

The father issue is hard and if you do decide to go forward with the pregnancy, you do need to be protected from him.

I'm not sure regarding the midwife thing... I think it would depend on the age of consent.

**ScaredandExcited** · 01-14-2010 05:09 PM

I live in england there fore the age to have sex is 16, ive been with my boyfriend for 8 months now. I know its not long, but it wasn't supose to happen. His parents dont know yet, as we plan to tell them when im too far gone to have a abortion (which i think is 20 weeks) so my mom cant talk me into it again. My boyfriends mom and dad will be upset at first, but we know they will help us out. What do you reckon i should do, if you were me? And my boyfriend does live with his parents, but he more aless lives at mine if you know what i mean, he is with me 24/7

**Mes T** · 01-14-2010 05:39 PM

I know it's too late for this but, why didn't you use a method of birth control?

Situations like these are completely avoidable. Something to keep in mind for the future.

Since you and your boyfriend are financially dependent on your parents, you need to tell them asap. It would be different if you were living on your own, had a steady source of income, etc.

**ScaredandExcited** · 01-15-2010 01:19 AM

i was on the pill but i was getting side effects so i come off it and used condoms the one time the condom split but i didnt think id be so unlucky this time. I cant tell them yet the reasoning in the message above, plus i didnt say i didnt have any protection when it happened

**Mes T** · 01-15-2010 06:14 AM

Ah I'm sorry about that, I gotta admit I just automatically assumed.

My mistake.

I can understand your reasons, but still, I think everyone would benefit if you told your mom (and not necessarily your dad) about it sooner rather than later.

**LanaBear** · 01-15-2010 08:36 AM

I agree with Mes. If you are living with your mom, then yes, you need to tell her.

You will have some decisions to make should she tries to force you to have an abortion. And I think you need to talk to his parents sooner rather than later too. Because if they are understanding about it and willing to help out, as you say, where your mother is not, you may be packing your bags and staying with your boyfriend's parents for a while.

**ScaredandExcited** · 01-15-2010 09:25 AM

i wish it was as easy as that, i cant really tell my mom at the mo, as we have just found out that my grandad only has 1-2 months left to live as his dying of cancer, its her dad and she is rather upset at the moment. And im sorry if it seemed like i was going mad at you, i didn't mean to it just gets me fustrated as im in a deep deep (edit) situation. Thanks x

**ScaredandExcited** · 01-17-2010 01:51 AM

Well some of you might of seen my other post, Im 5 weeks pregnant and me and my boyfriend are keeping it theres no buts or ifs about it. Im 17 and he is 20. I know it is goig to be hard but i cant abort it, as if had one before and i will never go through that again, as it left me heartbroken last time. Ive gotta be careful though, as i dont wana tell anybody untill im at least 20 weeks gone, so my mom cant talk me into getting a abortion. Ive got a big problem for when i do tell them, my dad first of all, he is a very bad tempered man and even though i dont see much of him, when he finds this out he will kill me, john and my mom for been a 'bad parent' for letting me get into the situation. I read the advise some of you had gave me (thanks very much) on the other post, but i cant tell my mom yet as her dad, my grandad is dying, he has a month or 2 left, he has cancer and we have only just found out so she is upset already, without sobbing her heart out for me, the beggining of the year she said to me 'dont get into that mess you got into this time last year' meaning the abortion and then i didnt know i was preg. Its not much of a mess this time, as i know what i wana and what ive gotta do. So, is there any advise on telling my famo? and do you reckon i will need protection of my dad, if so what protection? Ohh and we cant tell my boyfriends parents yet cuz they will wana tell my mom. Please help me, its just this little knot worring me about telling our parents, more mine than his. Especailly my dad, as he is going to find out sooner or later as im due on the 4th of september, and his bday is august. And i do see him on birthdays and christmas ect..... Thanks for reading x