Young, Pregnant and dont know what to do.

**Mabz** · 03-11-2010 07:11 PM

Im 17years old, i have recently broken up with my partner of almost 12months, and found out that i am a month and a half pregnant.

The only problem is it could be his or it could be his best friends.

i had plans for my life, i wanted to study at a higher level of education, i wanted to travel the world and i feel as though having a child im going to lose all my dreams. I think that im going to have to put my life on hold.

Id appreciate any advice from young people that are either mums or have had abortions to help me make my big decision? Please i need help.

**Mes T** · 03-11-2010 07:20 PM

How far along are you?

I've never had a child but have had close calls before, where I thought maybe I was pregnant, and I was worrying about these exact same things.

Firstly I'm pro-choice. So that's gonna influence my response.

I think you have to consider your life, the life of the people closest to you (mom, dad, etc), and of course the life of your child.

Is your child going to grow up in a financially stable environment? Are you going to be a mature enough mother to properly nurture a human being?

Are you going to resent this child, for changing your life so drastically? Are you going to live your life fantasizing about "what if"s?

In addition to choosing between keeping the child or aborting, you also have the option of adoption to consider...

Food for thought.

**LanaBear** · 03-11-2010 08:00 PM

I could have written your post 15 years ago, except the father was not in question. You do have a choice and you need to really ponder how your life will be with or without a child.

I can't really add anything more than was Mes has said. Both are going to be emotionally taxing, just different types of emotions. Either way, I hope you have some people who can support you and your decision.

Best wishes to you hun, it's a difficult decision either way.

**Little** · 03-11-2010 08:01 PM

I have so many friends who are young mothers and I've gotta throw out there that you wouldn't necessarily be ruining your life by giving birth to (or keeping) a child. I've seen quite a few of them blossom and grow up very quickly as a result of their pregnancies. But you're right - it will make it VERY difficult to pursue higher education and travel the world.
Only you can make your decision. Depending on laws in your state about abortion (and whether or not you agree with it) you may have a limited amount of time to decide whether to abort. Adoption has a much longer time limit ... you can wait the whole 9 months before you decide to give a lucky person or couple a bundle of joy.
As Mes mentioned, you should consider not only yourself, but those around you. Are mom and dad going to be happy? Furious? Supportive? What about the potential fathers? Do you have insurance to pay for medical care? The list goes on of things to think about.
I wish you lots of luck! Let us know how everything is going.

**LaurieX** · 03-13-2010 02:39 PM

Hey, im 15 and i was pregnant last year.
I wasnt with the babys dad when i found out but i decided to keep the baby because my mum told me she would support me with any decision i made.
when i told the dad, he was so furious that id kept it, he had his new girlfriend and her friends attack me, and i miscarried

If i were you i would keep the baby because this could be your only chance to have a child, and you can pick up on your plans in a few years time when the child is old enough to be at school or nursery.

Of course it is your choice and i really hope that it wouldnt be your only chance to have children.

Good Luck xox

**sourpuss** · 03-13-2010 05:10 PM

OMG Laurie! That's awful. How are you dealing with it? Did you press charges?

**mommy2Keyoni** · 03-13-2010 10:27 PM

I am a young mother myself, im 20 will be 21 in sept...I was also pregnant 17. I did not have that child i had an abortion when i was 9 weeks preg. My son is now 4 mths old. I could write you a whole book BUT i want to tell you things that people never told me. Having a baby u are always taking a risk of possibly raising that baby on your own. I dont have a good relationship with my mother so she was not and still is not sum1 to turn 2 when i need advice etc. I have 6 brothers and sisters i do not believe in abortions. but, even though i love my son to death. if i could go back and have been more responsible i would have never gotten pregnant. It is NOT, i repeat NOT easy. and especially your still in school. I am currently a single mother raising my son on my own...i dont have family members 2 bring him 2 when im tired, exhausted or just need a break. Its me and my son 24/7. and if im having such a hard time now i could only imagine what i wouldve been goin thru had i kept that baby when i was 17! I will also say this an abortion will stick with your 4 da rest of ur life. Even after having my son i still think about that baby...how it looked, the face features but thats sumthin that i can deal with. Honey, only u know ur lifestyle and if your parents are willing to help, den maybe keepin the baby isnt such a bad idea. BUT if u kno theres a possibility u can b on ur own. abortion seems like the only and best idea. I would never want another young girl looking 4 love in all the wrong places 2 b in my shoes. Think It through b4 its too late. After that first kick its absolutely no way a human can go thru with it.

best of luck 2u...feel free 2 respond...ill give my best input...if u do believe in GOD pray on it.

**LaurieX** · 03-14-2010 05:24 AM

i didnt press charges because i thought that i was to blame but i had a lot of counselling and im workin through it.

Iv realised that even though its not the best way, its showed me that maybe i was too young for a kid and im gonna try and live my life as much as i can before i plan a baby

xox

**Rainbow Rider** · 03-15-2010 09:10 AM

Ah Mabz, I feel for you! Such a difficult time for you! My best advice is to try to use an element of logic in the situation. Difficult to do, but best for making the best decision FOR YOURSELF! Remember, you are #1!

>HUGS< to everyone close to this subject. Such a difficult topic! As my mother once told me, "You will have to live with your decision, no matter what you decided.". And that, my dear, can be the hard part! Ask me how I know . . .

Before I go into my story, let me just say that after all of this time, the only good that I can say about the situation is that I am SO GLAD that I am not connected to that person for the rest of my life!!!! I have that alone to be thankful for! I would have NEVER had the wonderful life that I have had if I'd have been connected to him. Sure, there would have been other wonders, but I'm sure it would have been a huge struggle. He is *not* a good person! I simply would not be where I am today; I'd be completely somewhere else, and most likely in a totally different socio-economic status. That is typically how these things end up . . . back to my story.

I am 43, was once pregnant about 18 years ago (I have blocked the year out of my head). I am pro-choice, but I ended up doing something that I do not personally believe in for myself (I was kind of raised Catholic; hence I have Catholic principles, morals, and values. HOWEVER, I am not religious). I did this for the other person. THAT alone was the hardest thing for me to live with; not listening what was best FOR ME!!! He was in Optometry School, so it was all about his career, yada, yada = all about him. Thought I could salvage the relationship and that we'd be together for ever. Well of course it doesn't work that way! He was very, very selfish!

It was one of the most devastating experiences for me (the other was divorce), primarily because while I was trying to move forward from the event, I discovered he had been cheating on me (this was how he dealt with the situation = how nice is that??). I found a list of all the women he had cheated on BY CITY! There were 4 more listed after my name!! Whata Mo Fo!

I realized then that he NEVER MET MY STANDARDS!!!! Ever, ever! It took me a long time to get away from him (deeply scarred, devasted, and messed up from what I had done), but I finally grew a huge set of balls and made my escape! Haven't looked back since, and I am so happy not to be connected with him! He is now a married Optometrist in Boise, ID. So anyone in Boise, ID beware of tall, attractive, -kissing, funny Optometrists, who are most likely cheating on their wife . . .

So, that is my story; that is what happened to me. It's a very difficult situation to be in! Don't let anyone persuade you; please weigh the pro's and con's for yourself!

Thread: Young, Pregnant and dont know what to do.

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

Young, Pregnant and dont know what to do.

young mother

Similar Threads

Am I too young for sex?

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions