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Thread: Pregnant, Alone and Unemployed

  1. #1
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    Default Pregnant, Alone and Unemployed


    I know I'm not the only one with this title in the world especially in today's day and age but right now I feel like I am. I am 24 years old and a mother of a wonderful 5 year old son.... The sticky situation?.... I'm almost 7 months pregnant, completely alone and unemployed for a year. I have been on the job hunt for a year and it was hard enough before the pregnancy to even get an interview but now it's nearly impossible. I feel more alone now than I ever have and feel like my life is falling apart. Abortion was not an option for me. I'm not against it for any reason I personally just couldn't ever do it. I was on the pill and even used a condom. The father and I tried to build a relationship but too opposite and he is mentally too young (if that makes sense). I have been going through this pregnancy without much support. I tend to cry myself to sleep alot or even just burst into tears. My Grandmother just passed away and with all the family fueding the stress is even higher. I looked up to her so much that it's hard to handle the family fighting and her death all at once. I keep a grinning face and a good attitude with my son and everyone else but I feel like my life is falling apart and I don't know where to turn anymore. Any opinions or suggestions would greatly help!

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    WH Moderator & WINNER OF BEST THREAD MARCH & JUNE 2011- Don't mes with Mes T Array Mes T's Avatar
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    I'm sorry all of these things are happening at once for you.

    Do you have any other close family/friends you could lean on for a while? What about your parents?

    Yeah job hunting is tough for anyone but for someone in this situation as well, as few people want to hire someone who is almost immediately going to go on maternity leave. If you can hold out a few more months, it should become easier.

    What about some work from home opportunities? Do you think any might be available to you?

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array luvtheoneurwith's Avatar
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    I am not actually in the same boat, but I was fresh out of college when I was three months with my first baby. We lost our house and had to live with his parents. We weren't married and his Mom kept asking me why I stayed with him. After a month of finally landing a job I was placed on maternity leave early due to complications with Gestational diabetes. My boy friend was gone most of the time for his job...then he went to help out in Louisiana. For months I was alone with his mother telling me he was no good and couldn't support us. Day after day I woke up alone and went to bed alone. After having my baby my boyfriend lost his job, and I had no job to return to. I looked for several years for a job. My Boyfriends mother constantly saying that I was not employable and should give up. My family lived so far away I could only call them. Four years later and his mother is still not supportive. Last year we were pregnant-resulted in a miscarriage-his mother said he was stupid for having another child, she said only idiots like us would have another child without the money to support them. Like you I am not against abortion, but it is not for me. I think that yes financially it is hard, I still have no job, am again pregnant and guess what she is missing out on this pregnancy as we are not going to tell her. We have moved in our own home, not where we would like to be but it is ours. We love our daughter and no matter how hard it gets we hold on to that love. I know you don't have a man (yet), but you have love. Focus on that love. Your little guy doesn't care how much money you have. He does feel (no matter how you try to hide it) the sadness. Your baby does to.You have so much love to give you are blessed with a second child to give it to. I know it is hard to not have a job...and the feelings that come with that, the guilt you feel, but I started focusing on my daughters laughter, her love, her simplistic way of looking at things. Use this time to do extra things with your son. Live in the joy your children will bring. I know a lot of people that are in your shoes, have been in your shoes and they all say that when they dwelled on the bad it made things worse. Your emotions are crazy and you don't need to dwell on the bad things, close your eyes and see the good. There are fears that you are feeling, write them down get them out keeping them in makes you cry. Love, live in love, and remember as hard as it is you have unconditional love staring at you 24/7. I hope you find some kind of peace of mind in this. As for your Grandma...I have lost so many people in my life I don't think there is ever a right thing to say...remember the good she brought to your life. Make sure shes always in your sons and babys life, and as long as you do these things she isn't gone she just can't be seen. Love, laughter, and happiness being sent your way.

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    Well, for what it's worth, you have a good head on your shoulders....

    I worked in recruiting, and pregnancy is a vicious thing when it comes to getting a job... employers hesitate to hire someone who may immediately need time off....

    On the plus side!!! Here's the "silver lining" so to speak - there are pleanty of sites that offer legit "work from home" jobs, and since you have a computer, this could be perfect for you!

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    Thank you so so much!!! I actually lost my last job because they couldn't work around my schedule that I have with my son (50/50 custody). I have tried desperately to find work at home but most are start your own business, post adds, yada yada. I am actually trying to start my own business making jewelry but unemployment barely covers living expenses and will be running out in a couple months. My parents actually have a full house right now and I'm looking to a friend who may need a roommate soon she's going through a divorce. I am mostly afraid of losing my tiny one bedroom apartment because I have no where to go. luvtheoneurwith- thank you for sharing your story with me it definately helps ease my mind to know that other women have gotten through similar situations. I am glad to hear that regardless of what your boyfriend's mother thinks you 2 have stuck it out with eachother and with your kids. Thank you ladies, I haven't really had many people to talk to about my situation I am definately hooked on this site now. :-)

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array luvtheoneurwith's Avatar
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    jesse- I too am hooked. I check it first thing in the morning and before I go to bed. It is a very good website with wonderful people who care about others and helping them.

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Na, no one is as hooked as me, well WC is catching up

    I think when there is so much negativity in our lives, it drains us, pulls us down and we can't see the lining on the walls... But they are there.

    It's also difficult because your emotional when your pregnant and you have no one really around you, to make you feel special in this time.

    Your grandmother was very important in your life, but remember, she's watching over you.

    Just pull that inner strength that you have, you have a new chapter in your life, that's all, a new journey and YOU WILL, succeed in it and be happy, so smile in that knowing and get going with all the things YOU want.. Try to ignore the negative things around you, because negativity will ALWAYS be there, just don't let them affect you.

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE LIGHT IN MY SOUL!

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