Thread: 9 weeks lost the baby...help

FIRST I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY CONDOLENCES AND SAY IM SORRY FOR YOUR LOST. I WANT TO SAY I UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I NO WHAT ITS LIKE LOOSING A BABY . AND FEELING LIKE YOU WERENT A GOOD MOTHER AND FEELING GUILTY ABOUT HOW YOU COULD OF PREVENTED THIS FROM HAPPENNING. I CRIED SO MUCH BUT I HAD NO ONE SUPPORT YOU HAD YOUR HUSBAND YOU CAN TRY AGAIN UNLIKE ME IM TO YOUNG I LOST MY BABY WHEN COMPLETING A MONTH. AND IM ONLY 17. ITS HARD TO SLEEP AND EAT JUST THE MEMORY OF LOOSING IT HAUNTS ME BECAUSE IT WAS PART OF ME AND I WAS ALREADY FEELING LIKE A MOM. BUT TO ME YOU SOUND LIKE A GREAT MOTHER I NO I WOULD HAVE BEE.

Thank you for your reply. I am so sorry to hear about your situation also. I think that if they could just tell me why this keeps happening it would make it even a little bit easier. I actually now am terrified to get preg. again. That feeling is horrible. It turns a time when you are suppose to be happy into something that you are terrified about. Thank you though your reply did help me. Knowing that its not only me that has had this happen and these same feelings helps out. I wish you the best for the future.

Your story sounds the same as mine. My husband and I have been married for two years going on year three here soon. We are currently 15 weeks pregnant. WE have had two miscarriages. Honey, from what I have read and the doctors I have gone to, I think you need to find a nice family doctor that you trust and see what the problem is. My doctor was very worried that I had a calapsed cervix meaning everytime the baby gets anywhere betweenm 8-11 weeks, its too heavey for the cervic to handle and just lets it wash out even though the baby had been fine. This is something that not all doctors check for or even think of.

About the nightmares. I have them all the time. Sometimes I get so scared I wake up crying. With our histories darling, we are going to worry no matter what. I do have a couple questions to ask because this is what my fertility specialist asked me.

Do you smoke? If so stop now.

How much caffine do you drink a day? If alot, slowly decrease into you have nothing. Drink only natural juices and milk and orange juice.

How active are you?

Are you over weight?

Are you in the best possible health you can be?
(A healthy body leads to a healthy vessel for your baby)

Those are just a couple questions. These are things I did. I found out that woman who drink a lot of caffine have been known to miscarry more than others. I stopped drinking soda. I found out that some womans bodies will not let them smoke a single cigarette without spotting or worse. So I stopped the day I found out. I started walking more and I even lost a couple pounds in the first trimester. I eat every couple of hours but try to make sure its healthy.

Also, what is the stress level in your life right now? How is your family? Is everything in tip top shape?

I know these sound like stupid questions but these are all things my doctor asked me. I have high blood preasure and I am easily prone to anxiety attacks and depression curves. So, naturally we watched this, I started working out more and it went away. A healthy person emotionally and physically makes a great incubator.

Last but certainly not least I am so sorry for what you are going through. It's an awful feeling and you feel like it's your fault. I can assure you there is nothing wrong. How far apart where your miscarriages? The only suggestion I have is let God take it from here. Pray and see what happenes? I hope all is well with you.


Sincerely,
Brittany (from texas)
Let me know how you are doing and if there is anything I can do to help

Yesterday afternoon my son's fiance called us at work at told my son she was in the emergency room "losing their baby". She was supposed to be about 6 months pregnant. By the time we got to the hospital she had been dismissed and was waiting in her car. She said that they told her the baby wasn't formed properly and the heart had quit beating two weeks ago, that they had given her a d and c and morning after pill and sent her home. I'm confused, I would think that losing a baby that far along would be a little more complicated. I have never had a d and c but would think that their would be considerable bleeding and discomfort afterwards. I understand this is a terrible subject for you girls, but it is something I am totally unfamiliar with. I'm worried that my son's fiance is not telling us everything. seems to me the hospital staff would have been a little more compassionate than to just wheel her out after losing her child. and that some follow up care would be necessary both physically and emotionally. thanks for your responses

Originally Posted by Felicia.Lopez

After trying for over a year and 2 misscarrages my husband and I found out that I was preggie. We were SOOO excited. The next day I started spotting, feeling concerned I went to the ER. The Dr. did some tests checked my cervix said said I was indeed 9 weeks along and everything looked Ok but not 100% but nuthing to worry about. Feeling a little bit better we went home. The next day I started haveing some cramping and bleeding. I went back to the ER (follow up instructions) and after waiting almost 2 hours for a Dr. ,without even looking at me, or doing any kinds of tests this different Dr. sat down and said (and I qoute) "yeah so you are going to loose your baby. Sorry" then got up and left! I was thinking what??? how can he know this?? I went home and both my husband and I had a good long cry together. I am soo mad and hurt right now. Since that day my levels have been going down and I just feel so lost. We have one beautiful daughter who is now almost 4 years old. We want so bad to make our family bigger but it donesn't seem to be happening. I am now terrified at the thought of being pregg. for the fact I can't go thru another one of these. I have nightmares and find it hard to sleep at night. I can't stop of feeling that I have let my husband and everyone else down. Not to mention I feel like a horrible mom. Can anyone please help me? Have you been through this and had these same feeling? I feel like it's only me. Any advice would greatly help me out. Thank you and sorry for this being so long.

Hello,
Im sorry to hear of your previous lost, i know this can be hard for you. What i think you should do is visit a good fertility doctor to give you a complete checkup to make sure everything is well with your body before conception. Recently in the news and almost any pregnancy article is saying if a couple is trying to get pregnant, they should have a checkup before they start trying. In that way the doctor can determine if your body is healthy enough to have a baby or if theres anything wrong. goodluck and i hope everything works out for you.

Thank you all for your responses. I used to be a pretty heavy smoker but I stopped as soon as I knew that I wanted to get preg. again. Also one Dr. did mention something about how I might have a weak cervix. I didn't fully understand what he was talking about. Is there a way to remedy that? And yes there is a treamendous amount of stress in our lives right now, my husband is in the US Army. So stress is an everyday thing for us. Caffeine wise i drink a lot of tea, and water. I probably could afford to get a little more excerise too lol. But still its been a few weeks and the Dr. still can't seem to help fix the problem. If you could tell me more about this "weak cervix" I would appreciate it. And again thank you for all your replies it helped me not feel so alone. In my prayers-Felicia.

ok from what I have learned the "weak cervix" is also known as a calapsed cervic. One goes to the other as soon as miscarriage has accured. It's when your cervix can not handle too much preasure meaning when the baby gets too big, the cervix opens up and looses the baby. My doctor was worried that I had that. We checked for it and everything was fine. What they do to remedy this is they go in right around 8-15 weeks and the put a tiny stitch in your cervix so it stays shut. Now if this procedure is needed, more than likely complete bed rest for 9 months and no sex. Sex can rupture the stitch or so I am told. My husband is also in the Army and myself I am medically retired from it. Stress is always pretty hectic. But just try not to think about the recent loss. Please listen cause this worked for me. Relax! Calm down. Don't think about it. Spend time with your husband and just focus on happiness. Maybe looses a couple pounds by working out to keep your mind of off things and as soon as you least expect it you will get pregnant again. My husband and I had a miscarriage in November and then got pregnant at Christmas! the 6-8 weeks after the miscarriage is your most fertile time. It's like after you have a baby! Well, I hope all goes well for you. Please let me know how things go.

_brittany_

I am sorry for your loss. A baby is precious gift from God. God has a plan for everything that happens in our live. But He ever gives us to much that we can not handle. Just trust in Him to comfort you right now. He will bless you with many more babies. God Bless You