husband had low libido & wont get tested for problems
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for the last two or three years without any luck. I think one of the problems might have something to do with my husband's libido. I believe we would be more successful at getting pregnant if he would give me more . We have sex only once a week or once every two weeks. Sometimes longer than that. It just depends. Since we have been trying for several years now with no luck we're starting to talk about going to the doctor to see if one of us has a fertility problem. Well, I will be the only one getting tested because my husband is convinced his sperm is perfectly healthy and that is shouldn't have problems fertilizing an egg because he never gets sick and plus he is always at the gym working out. We all know he is talking crazy whem he says that because even if you stay fit you can still be shooting blanks. Also, there is no way in he is going to masturbate in the little cup because when it comes to his orgasms he would rather have my vagina or my mouth or something like that. He doesn't normally masturbate. I could possibly go into the little private room with him to help him out, but he still wouldn't want to do it because he will feel uncomfortable about it because of all the patients, nurses, doctors, and other people walking by. He is picky about it. Some people have said that one of the reasons why he might have a low libido is because he feels like a baby making machine. Just having sex to see if sperm meets egg. That is absurd. We of course have sex to show our love for one another and to feel close and all that. Not just to get pregnant. What do you guys think?
Have you tired tracking your ovulation and have sex around your fertile times? That might help, if you only have sex once a weeks or so, you might just be having sex at the wrong times. While healthy sperm can live in the vagina for up to 6 days, a woman's egg is good for about 12 to 24 hours. If no sperm gets to the egg in that time, no baby. There are tests you can get, much like home pregnancy test that help you determine if you are about to ovulate.
The higher number of "shots" you take, the better the opportunity to hit the "target". So take more shots...er...have sex more often.
If you are "trying" to become pregnant and still only having sex once each week, is there anything else going on? With him? At work?
Between you?
Just a thought....
Originally Posted by Seeker_Advice
That's what I was thinking as well. My husband and I don't have a very active sex life either. Having sex once a week or less is normal for us. Sex just isn't that important for us, however when we decided to start trying for a baby we stepped things up in that department. It worked! I'm 36 weeks pregnant with a little boy that should be arriving any day now!
Get him some reading material. The Male Biological Clock by Harry Fisch. Dr Frisch has a lot to say about male fertility and how often the problem is not the woman. In 40% of cases of infertility the problem lies with the man and in 20% of cases it is the man and woman together.
Just go on Amazon and read the "take a look" for the book. you will find information that may relate to your situation just in that slice of the book.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Soapgirl has it right in planning when you have sex if you are not going to have sex very often and still want to get pregnant. Search wiki under [Calendar-based contraceptive methods] for useful information.
I suppose you could park a RV in the parking lot of the hospital or clinic for a fertility test and really have sex to get his sample, with him withdrawing just before climax and climaxing in a specimen container instead. I had a fertility test in Thailand where they did not give me any porno magazines or other aids, making masturbating with no other stimulation challenging. He should buck up. I knew for certain I wasn't shooting blanks after testing.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
My husband is really into jogging so he puts it off so he can run and because of his work. He is not a workaholic or anything. He has a normal work schedule working 8-10 hours a day 5-6 days a week. We have a really great marriage. I just wish I could get more sex. His orgasms make him tired and out of it. He doesn't want to be like for work or for his work out regimen so I'll have to wait until he is ready for it. He is really good at suppressing his feelings because at times when I make him all horny and aroused he still wont do anything. Sometimes I tell him we better have sex within the next two days or else. He will usually wait until the last day to do it.
Soapgirl:
You gave some really good advice and what if I followed your advice by monitoring my ovaluation, but what if my husband doesn't want to do it with me on those days?
Does he really want a child?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
I have to agree with Wildchild, if he really wanted to have children he would understand that although he might not be "in the mood" you have to have sex on your fertility schedule or you won't get pregnant, it's biology. Maybe if he reads up on how exactly a women gets pregnant he might understand better and be more willing to participate. A really informative book to get is ' What to expect before you are expecting' I read that book before we started trying and it was very helpful.
Posting Permissions
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks