why arent i pregnant?

**whit4488** · 04-25-2011 07:56 PM

We have been consecutively trying for 7 months and im only 23 years old...what is going on? Im so upset, i know we both need to see the doctor, but this is making me feel like less of a woman...women at my age usually have no problems getting pregnant unvoluntarily...but me..who wants and is trying, cannot?! :'(

**Mes T** · 04-25-2011 08:06 PM

Hon do you know exactly what needs to happen for a woman to get pregnant? So many women FREAK OUT when they think they're having trouble conceiving, when in reality they just lack education in that area. Yes some pregnancies SEEM to happen "out of the blue," hey look I said I wanted a baby and now I have one yay... But it's always a very calculated, complicated process.

Do you chart your basal body temperature on a daily basis? Do you know which days you ovulate? Did you know that women are only fertile for about a week in the entire month, and that having sex during the non-fertile days is usually futile?

Read up on BBT, how to chart it, how to get the relevant information from it, and go from there.

And, even if you were already doing everything perfectly, 7 months is not a long time.

Also, it could ALSO be a problem from the man's side, too. If you're feeling like less of a woman, then he for sure should be feeling less like a man, too. It's not just one-sided.

Educate yourself before wasting money at the doctor's.

That's all.

**whit4488** · 04-25-2011 08:11 PM

i havent had a period since january so i cannot chart anything without one

**Mes T** · 04-25-2011 08:43 PM

Yeah you can. You just need to take your temperature every morning, that's all.

You sure you're not preggers if your period's so late? Have you taken a few home pregnancy tests?

Otherwise, have there been any changes in your life, diet, etc, that may have contributed to your period stopping? Are you on medication? That's definitely a biggie to consider, I'm surprised you hadn't mentioned it in your first post.

**FortunsFoole** · 04-25-2011 10:49 PM

Are your cycles typically unpredictable... or do you go a long time between periods?

Even a totally healthy couple can take a year or even longer to get pregnant. It's such a small window you can actually get pregnant in during your cycle. The egg(or eggs) released survive for about 24 hours. You only ovulate once during a cycle... there's so much going on the female body that focuses on keeping bacteria and whatnot out that it actually kills a majority of the sperm before they have a chance to get anywhere near that egg.

I completely understand the feelings of being less of a woman. I had the same thoughts and feelings myself. When I started educating myself on all the details of reproduction I realized how much FEAR was pumped into me at a young age about how EASILY it's supposed to be to get pregnant. I thought it was a sure thing... and it's surely not. There is A LOT that has to work perfectly, most of it completely out of your control... it's a wait and see... hope something fertilizes and actually sticks around. Some people are lucky enough to get it in the first few tries... and they are usually the ones that talk about it(or tell you to "just relax" and it'll happen). It seems most women that take awhile.. and have those feelings of being less than a women.. keep it a secret... so mostly you only ever hear about how easily women get pregnant. It Appears to be the norm, when it's not necessarily true. The other side of it is hearing about people trying for years and having multiples with IVF. So where are all the women that don't fit into those two categories? It seems like you never hear stories from them.

I'd definitely suggest charting, tracking fertile signs and taking basal body temp to see what your cycle is doing. The sooner you start charting(whether it's in the middle of a cycle or not) the sooner you'll be able to figure out what's going on with your body. I didn't know I wasn't ovulating until I started doing that. Charting really does help with trying. It'll increase chances of you getting pregnant.. but not necessarily immediately.

It takes a lot of patience... and some ingenuity to figure out ways of making trying fun so it doesn't become a job after months of trying...

**jessie1234** · 04-26-2011 09:27 AM

did you just come off birth control? it takes a longgg time to get out of your system
also if you havent had a period since january maybe you arnt ovulating and need some meds to kick start that
good luck

**whit4488** · 04-29-2011 08:29 PM

im not on any medications or birth control...never have been. my periods use to be regular at a younger age, but around age 17 (putting on weight) i noticed they were becoming unpredictable...and now, i am going without months...how do i detect with a thermometer if im ovulating? what should the temperature read? and are you sure there is an ovulation without a period?

**Beautiful Disaster** · 04-30-2011 08:16 AM

My absolute best suggestion to you is to get on walmart or amazons site and order yourself a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler.

7 months does not mean infertility. 1 year does not mean fertility. There is a VERY good chance here you just don't truly know what your most fertile days are, therefore you're missing the boat every month.

At this point, I would not consider you having fertility issues. Don't let yourself get caught up in this....it's too soon. You need the book, seriously. It's life changing whether you're trying to get pregnant or not, but it can change EVERYTHING if you're trying to get pregnant.

**whit4488** · 05-07-2011 02:16 PM

i have a doctors appt on the 19th of this month to be tested for PCOS (polycystic ovaries) and express my concerns

**MarcnMona** · 05-10-2011 11:23 AM

Let's hope that it is not PCOS, I was hit with that boat when I was 18 years old. And the doc never said that it was impossible, he just said that it would be difficult and most of my pregnant time would be spend in bed. To add more wood to the fire I also have a split Uterus [looks like a heart shape]. And my boyfriend of 3 years, we had unprotected sex for pretty much the 3 years of our relationship and we've never had any "pregnancy slip ups". I mean I'm 21 now and I would like to become a mother. Yes I know I am young but I already have been supporting myself since I was 17 years which is the age I graduated from college. So everything for me has happened at an earlier age.

But when it comes to pregnancy, this is where my life slows down..... I would not wish the sadness I go through on anyone. So I pray that it is just a simple matter of not knowing when you ovulate rather than medical problems.

I WISH YOU THE BEST.

P.S. I have faith that God will give me my baby one of these days.