Forced into an abortion - after effects :(

**xstilldreaming** · 05-25-2011 11:11 AM

So I'm a 17 year old girl, nearly 18 and my boyfriend of 3 years is also 17. When I was 7 weeks pregnant his parents found out because they found an unused pregnancy test in my boyfriends room and then insisted that I try it so I did.

They told my parents who were supportive but advised me to have an abortion because of my age but I wanted to either keep the baby or have it adopted which my boyfriends mum didn't agree with. My boyfriend didn't want me to have the baby either but his mum was so forceful, really laying into me

She even insisted that she came along to my doctors appointment with me and my boyfriend and ended up having to be asked to leave.

Also she made it clear that if I didn't have this abortion I could never see her son again.

So last week I had my abortion and I made it clear that I didnt want my boyfriend's mum there so she didn't come but sent her husband along - they were on the phone for nearly the whole time :/

Since the abortion she was nice for about 2 or 3 days but is now back to her mean, stuck up old self and it's so insensitive, I really want that baby back and hate her for forcing me to do this

**rcoreyus** · 05-25-2011 11:28 AM

This is a very difficult situation. It is true that having a child would have turned your life upside down, and closed a lot of future options, but it is a terribly tough decision. My personal feeling is that you will be in a much better situation to raise a child some years from now - it will be better for you and better for your child. I'm very sorry you were in this situation.

**WildChild** · 05-25-2011 11:29 AM

It is unfortunate that they were so negative but they were being protective of both you and their son, although you may not be able to see that now.

You are short on details but I suspect that his parents felt that two of you are too immature to make good choices and that you may have gotten pregnant as a means of keeping him in your life or for some other equally poorly thought out reason.

This is done. Give yourself time to heal physically and emotionally. Then you really should consider a reliable form of conception control such as a non hormonal IUD.
Be good to yourself.
Work on your self esteem.
Get out and have fun with some friends.
Get serious about your studies and what you want in your future. Having a Baby should be a planned event by adults, who are fully capable of caring for and supporting a child. Some day you be able to responsibly make that choice knowing that you will be able to raise and support a child.

**xstilldreaming** · 05-25-2011 01:55 PM

Thanks for the positive replies people, I had an implant put in while I was asleep so there's no way I'm getting pregnant again for another 3 years

To be honest I don't feel at all like his mother did what she did to protect me, or even her son...she said she herself didn't want to end up looking after somebody elses baby while doing 5 jobs :/

One good thing that has come from all of this is that I'm trying so much harder at school and I'm transferring to a much better college this year to start my A levels again and am planning on eventually studying law...it is some comfort me to know that mine and my boyfriend's future children will be so well looked after and have the best of everything.

I hope that in time I can get over this loss, but summers coming up and my boyfriend has a lot planned for us so I'll be good as new in time for the next school year

Thanks again

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-25-2011 02:15 PM

Honey,

You've turned a negative into a positive, your future for your future children...

Let's hope by the time you marry your boyfriend the wicked mother-in-law only has 1 job

I am sure she is stressed to the hilt over 5 jobs and one day, you will be able to speak to her, Adult to Adult about this event because you can't go through life being angry at someone, so remember that in years to come, one day, talk to her about it...

As for all your plans? Good for you... You know, a baby needs security and if you had had to have struggled you would have been depressed, but now you have your goals and therefore, happy little children one day when the time is right...

CW

**WildChild** · 05-25-2011 02:28 PM

Good for you! Look to the future and creating the life you choose to have rather than ending up in a default situation. You sound like a sensible and positive young woman. Keep in mind that your body will be going through some hormonal changes and you may have some mood swings for a few weeks. I glad to hear that your young man is being positive and is there for you.