Lonely..

**Agony_Aunt** · 07-07-2011 02:49 AM

I'm very happy about my pregnancy now.

But I feel a little lonely too. I usually thought of having a baby, would be with a partner you love and so on. But as I'll be a single mother, I guess that's what has me feeling a bit lonely.

I miss having someone to love. I know I will have my baby and I will love it more than anything else in this world. But I mean as in a partner, I just miss having someone there.

Is this maybe just a normal thing to go through?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-07-2011 03:03 AM

AA, our "thoughts" are there would be a partner and you are sharing all that is going on with that person, it's exciting and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do.

Also your Hormones will be making you feel that as well, coupled with the fact you are couped up at home and intend to continue to do so, so that "makes you lonley"...

Very lonely

You have to open up and smile, share, talk including here, tell us every single day on this thread what's going on, how you are feeling what names you have chosen what you have seen on the internet you like and would like for the little one, what you want me to buy bubs when she's born

And remember your age, and your maturity heeps of guys are not frightened of getting involved with a beauty like yourself, and smart lady like yourself with a child...Remember that please...

**lots1056** · 07-07-2011 11:07 AM

Definitely normal. I went through the same thing with my first pregnancy. I felt very sad not having someone next to me. There are so many emotions and joys during pregnancy, it was hard that there was no one standing next to me to turn to and hug. Once your baby gets here though, you will be the happiest woman on this earth! I know once my daughter was here I still longed for that family but just put in in the back of my mind. Finally I decided I wanted to be single forever, just me and her, and I was happy. Then I met a wonderful man when she was around 10 months old, he has taken on the role of her father and is now the biological father of our 4 month old. He is amazing with the girls, and I look at it like I got a second chance to choose a father for her. I look back and I am very thankful I went through that pregnancy alone because I learned so much about myself and my priorities. It was the most magical and awesome time, I was so intune with my unborn, I knew who she was before she was born. My second was awesome because I got to share it with both my daughter and my boyfriend, but my first pregnancy was just me and my baby. I hope you start to feeling better, you and your baby deserve it!

And congrats on your pregnancy!

**Agony_Aunt** · 07-07-2011 12:57 PM

I guess I'm just feeling lonely at the thought's of doing this alone. Even though I have all my family and friends around.

Maybe it is hormones too, some days are good some days are a little bad.

I think I'm feeling lonely and needing someone because things got a little heavy lately, and I feel like I need someone to lean on.

It's nice to hear from someone who has went through what I'm going through now. And I hope things will change when my baby is born

**lots1056** · 07-07-2011 03:33 PM

I totally understand. I am a person who usually has a hard shell over them, but when I was pregnant those hormones definitely got me to break down. I wanted someone to lean on even if I didn't show it. And I did cry some nights.. I will tell you that when my daughter was born, everything went out the window and she was my everything. In my experience it did change. Take advantage of your friends and family (not in a bad way) because they love you and they want to be your support. My family did everything that a man could have done.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 07-07-2011 03:36 PM

I watched a friend go through her pregnancy as her marriage fell apart. At 6-7 months she was single again and I'm pretty sure she thought she was doomed to eternal loneliness and heartache. She was nervous about being a single mom (rightfully so...mom is a tough job!). Let me just say, that she now has a beautiful little girl who is crawling and this is one of the happiest people I know. She is not dating anyone, hasn't seen her daughter was born.....but she's happy, joyful, content, etc. Her life is focused on her daughter, her job, and her life. Yes, HER life......meaning she still has one (contrary to the popular belief that an independent life ends with children).

No doubt you're going to feel lonely at times, pregnant or not. I'm sure the pregnancy hormones aren't helping that any, but I also think part of it is just normal.

What's going on in your life lately?

**Agony_Aunt** · 07-07-2011 04:36 PM

Over a week ago I was taken in to hospital because of bleeding, that scared me, a lot. Another incident happened, which I don't really want to talk about here, right now.

But with the stresses of what happened, I feel alone, and like I'm doing this on my own and had no one to turn to. If you get what I mean. Yes I had my family around and supporting me, but I still felt on my own.

I know it's going to be tough being a single mother, and I guess that my hormones being all over the place, aren't helping me right now.
Only a few weeks ago, I was strong, and felt independent, and happy and excited. Everything was ok.

I was thinking about going back to my doctor, I had depression previously and I wonder is it starting again? I came off the anti-depressants when I found out I was pregnant. although I wasn't keen on taking them in the first place. Plus I'm not sleeping again now, haven't slept right the past few nights, it seems that when I get overly stressed or worried, I don't sleep. Maybe I should see a sleep therapist.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 07-07-2011 08:14 PM

What are you stressed and worried about? Sorry to hear you had a health scare, but I"m glad you and the baby are okay. As for the other incident...I understand...and when you're ready to talk about it, I'm here to listen whether it's here on on a PM. Holding things in doesn't help and we're certainly not here to judge. Aside from that....just remember your own words "only a few weeks ago I was strong and felt independent and happy and excited. Everything was ok.". You've had a few rough patches since then, but you've gotten through them. If you were okay then, you still are now...it's most likely the hormones making things difficult for you. You'll probably have lots of highs and lows during the pregnancy if for no other reason than the hormones. There's a lot going on inside that body. I can't wait to find out what you're having. Have you started thinking about names?

**WildChild** · 07-07-2011 11:06 PM

Being in a relationship, even a marriage, is no guarantee that you have anyone to feel connected to or close with during pregnancy. My kids father was not very supportive or loving and I think many women deal with what you are going through even with a partner.

Look at what you can do to start preparing for the rest of your life. Not just being a mother but being a single parent. Will you be able to continue your education? Get some additional job training? Are you making any baby things? Blankets, booties, caps, all that good stuff? You need to focus on the positives.

Do you meditate? That can be very helpful. How about a yoga class for pregnant women? Birthing classes can be a great place to connect with other women and find others to share with. Do you have a friend or two who can go to class with you? It's nice to have more than one.

**Agony_Aunt** · 07-08-2011 09:24 PM

It was the scare with the bleeding that had me scared and worried, as for the other incident, I will share here because you are all friends.
I was out last Friday, and I was attacked by another girl. I was taken to hospital again, but the baby wasn't harmed, although I have 2 black eyes, and a broken nose.
It was the fact that twice in one week, I thought I was going to loose my baby, that has me paranoid now thinking something else bad will happen.
I guess that could be the main reason why I'm feeling alone now.

I had my 20 week scan today, and found out the sex of the baby. They said the baby is a little bit smaller than what it should be for 20 weeks but has a very strong heart beat, and still that everything is ok.

I have an appointment with my doctor Thursday, and he is referring me to a sleep physcologist which will help with hypnosis and meditation, and see what is the reason for my sleeping problems, because they've been persistant. I'm looking forward to it, because it feels like I will finally get closure on my sleeping problems, and not another set of anti-depressants or sleeping tablets.