Im 18, single, and pregnant, HELP!
So I was with this guy since I was 12 years old. We dated for a full on 4 and a half years. It was a bad relationship. He cheated. Put his hands on me. Was just an all around bad person. But I stayed with him because I loved him and he was all I had. I finally got some balls and left him. Im a fresh high school graduate with two jobs, starting college in the fall, and getting an apartment with two girlfriends of mine. Life is pretty good. But I havent had my period for about a month now, since me and "the devil" (thats what me and my friends call him) stopped talking. I took a pregnancy test about a week ago and it was negative, but i took one this morning and it is clear that I am pregnant. Idk what to do. I could no problem handle it. My problem is that I dont want "the devil" in my life at all. I want the baby, I really do. And I would have plenty of help from my family and my friends. I just dont know what I should do. I feel like my mom is kinda pushing me towards an abortion, I only think thats because before, when it was a possibility that I was pregnant, I was conisdering it. But now that I really have a baby growing inside of me, its different. My mom had me at 16 so she was a teen mother and says she wouldnt have done anything different. Money isnt an issue for me. Its just idk what to do! Help me!
Tough situation as a baby does create a forever "tie" between you and the father if he wants to be a part of the childs life.
Your decision to keep the baby or abort should not be influenced by your mother. It has to be your decision. If your ex knew you were pregnant, what do you think he would want you to do? Abort or keep the baby? Bad a guy as he may be, this would be his child and his responsibility too, therefore it should play a factor in your decision.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
I agree with BD..
You and only you must make this decision..
You can't run and hide, that's not fair to the baby either, a baby deserves to know who its father is good or bad, so you need to understand that he will be around, he probably won't contribute and he may use it against you as well, like, it's my child and I will see it 3 times a week... Just to taunt you... I think your Mother may be worried that if he hit you, will he hurt the baby? Court order of past would have to come into play to ensure he could never have the baby on his own..
There is alot to think about there.
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
The thing is I KNOW he would want the baby because he wants to be with me. I just now got strong enough to leave and I dont ever want to go back. Him knowing about the baby would just make things harder for me to stay away from him. It is selfish I can admit it, I just want to do it on my own with noones help. Especially not his. Ive decided to keep the baby. Now I just have to think about what Im going to do about him. It crazy, the day I found out I was pregnant was the first time in over a month he tried to contact me. That freaked me out. Its like he knew... Im scared, but excited. And I get my apartment on sunday! Things are going just way too good for me to let him back in my life.
Having his baby does NOT mean you have to be with him. Keep reminding yourself that. And when the hormones kick in and you start telling yourself "But my baby deserves to have both his/her mother and father in the same home!!!", come back and read this: "Your baby deserves the world. Your baby deserves to grow up with a happy healthy mother as a role model. Your baby deserves a relationship with his/her father. Your baby DOES NOT deserve to grow up watching his/her mother be abused physically AND mentally.".
He's going to try to make it out like this happened because you two are "meant to be". And if you bite on to that out of sheer fantasy, he WILL possess you like he never has before.
Live for you. And live for your baby. And no matter HOW hard he tries, stay away.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
I really agree. You need to stay away of this guy, take care of yourself and your baby.Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster
I'm woman and I'm so proud about that.
I would not be true to my moral beliefs if I did not say that I consider abortion murder.
If you decide that you can't keep the baby, you could put it up for adoption. If you are worried about your ex you could go away, maybe with out of town relatives, to have the baby. There are thousands of loving couples that are desperate to have a baby but can't have one. I myself cannot have a baby and if I ever adopt one I would be ever grateful to the babies biological mother for making the right choice.
Zen is more of an attitude than a belief.
There's always the good old "It's not yours" story.....
Sometimes it's best if the father doesn't stick around. Child support you can live without just as much as an abusive relationship. It's hard, but I can only imagine that you'll be happier without him.
I'm not necessarily a "pro life" advocate -- this has earned much hatred from many people, and I'm alright with that. But I would also never suggest someone make the "other" decision either. Instead, I suggest that no matter what decision you make, make sure you don't waiver and keep your support network tight. You'll need them.
See, now thats honestly what I want to do. Im just scared when he finds out make me take a paternity test. And I know for a fact its his baby. Im just hoping that if I do say "its not yous" be like disgusted and not even really care if it is or not ya know? Im just worried that later on my baby will hate me and pull the whole "I wish I knew who my daddy was" but really they dont know what a bad person he is. I dont want to be considered a bad person I guess is my big thing. And about abortion, Im not completely against them, its just not for me. I feel as though if you are grown enough to have sex then you better be ready to deal with the consequences that come with it. Like a baby. And abortion is only ok to me when your like raped or something serious like that. So abortion is out of the question, its just what do I do about this baby daddy. Its sad, yesterday some girl was trying to fight me becasue of him and stuff, theyr still in high school drama, and I was grown about it told her Im not fighting over a boy and stufff, I dont want people knowing Im pregnant yet because it will be obvious its his ya know? Lately Ive been getting sad and missing him and it sucks, I know I cant go back to that and I dont want too. But that was my bestfriend even after what he did to me. I honestly think I will just go with the flow... Im not going to tell people Im pregnant or whos baby it is. Ill just keep to myself till I know exactly what I want.
BTW you guys are helping me out SSOOOOOOO much! I really appreciate it!
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