Help Please. I am so worried and confused here.

**notsure81** · 08-19-2011 02:58 PM

Hi first of all I just want to say that I am a man and I was not sure where else to go. I have an issue surrounding a two week love affair with a woman who is now claiming to be pregnant.
The issue is this. I went and visited her on July 15th. We had unprotected sex the entire time I was there and on August 2nd we went to the doctor because she had been spotting. She was due for her period on the 2nd, but in the previous months and for about 15 years her normal cycle was on the 7th and 10th of every month.
The doctor did a pregnancy test both blood and urine and it was positive. The doctor also said she was about a month pregnant. On the way home I was doing the math and it was not adding up. If I had been there for only 18 days thats two weeks and 4 then how is it she is a month pregnant. Upon discussing the visit with the doctor with her she said that the doctor told her she was close to being 4 weeks pregnant. When we got home I again asked her what it was the doctor told her and it seemed as if she was changing the story. She said she was in shock at the time the doctor told her she was pregnant, and she was not sure exactly what was said. At this point is where I became confused. because doesnt the whole conception thing take about 14 days for the egg and sperm to bond and move up into the uterus? So how is in 18 days she is pregnant. I am not trying to skip out on being responsible, but if there is a chance that she cheated on me before going out and was taking advantage of me then I need to know. Please help... I did ask her if she cheated on me and of course the answer was no. Given her history with men I have a very hard time grasping the truth.

any help will be greatly appreciated.

**LanaBear** · 08-19-2011 03:29 PM

It sounds fishy, to say the least. To protect yourself, I would be requesting a paternity test when it is available.

Depending on her cycle length, it could be that she was fertile (very fertile) when you went and visited, however, she could have already been pregnant. Unfortunately, unless you trust her 100%, you will probably not know the truth.

**notsure81** · 08-23-2011 03:01 AM

Thank you for replying to my post. I have been so sick over this and I am actually going into to see the doctor and ask him to check me for sterility. I was tested a few years back after coming home from Iraq and was told that my chances of ever having children was dang near impossible. I do have to add to this issue because like I said before I am very confused. I was married for about 22 years and my ex never got pregnant. She went to the doctor before I came home from Iraq while being deployed, and received a clean bill of health as well as fertility pills. We tried to get pregnant all the time but nothing and that is when I went and got checked. I was told I shot blanks. Now this situation arises and that is why I am very confused. Now, I did talk to her a few days ago and she said she took that Pill that does the whole abortion thing, but I had already done a bunch of research online about the pill and from what she told me it didnt sound like she was going through all the side effects it supposedly causes. Nausea, vomiting, cramps, etc. So I guess my problem is to wait it out and see what happens. Yeah I think she was pregnant before I ever got there and not from me. As sexually as she was/is I seriously doubt that she was faithful to me over a long distance relationship. seeing how I live in the Hawaiin Island and she on the east coast and it was 2 1/2 months from the time I met her to when I finally went to see her. Kinda hard to believe. Well thanks for the help and if you come up with anything else please let me know.

Originally Posted by LanaBear

It sounds fishy, to say the least. To protect yourself, I would be requesting a paternity test when it is available.

Depending on her cycle length, it could be that she was fertile (very fertile) when you went and visited, however, she could have already been pregnant. Unfortunately, unless you trust her 100%, you will probably not know the truth.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 08-23-2011 07:01 AM

In a case like this one, I would always require a paternity test. Be up front about it, tell her that if she's pregnant with your baby you want to be the best father in the world, but that you for your own heart and mind need to know for sure.

Doctors "estimate" time of conception. Until they do an ultrasound and actually see the embryo, they are estimating time of conception based on last period unless the woman knows exactly when she conceived. He's telling her she is 18 days pregnant based on the dates of her last period, not because his crystal ball told him when she truly got pregnant.

So yeah, if she was ovulating on July 15th and you had unprotected sex, she could have most definitely gotten pregnant and would've shown positive test results by August 2nd.

If you want to truly understand the way a womans cycle works, the way pregnancy works, get yourself a good book and learn about it. Otherwise, it can be very confusing and there's no way, unless you're highly informed about it that you will be able to scrutinize and understand the details to any extent. If you try, without the knowledge, you'll drive yourself bonkers.

Could be your baby. May not be. Paternity test is a must.