Pregnant & Sex Is Not So Desirable Anymore

**SomiticPit** · 09-09-2011 09:44 AM

I'm 6 months pregnant, and I seem to have lost my sex drive! Whats up?

Before I became pregnant, I loved having sex with my boyfriend. Anywhere, anytime. I was able to reach an orgasm as quickly as I wanted. He turned me on, made me feel sexy...

Since I have become pregnant, my sex drive is almost completely gone. I want to WANT to have sex, no doubt!! I want to be able to give my man that attention. But it doesn't work the same. When we have sex, it's maybe one out of five times I can actually reach an orgasm.

Things I've noticed:
1) It takes me a while to get in the mood. Sometimes, I can't even get in the mood at all. I become agitated when he wants sex, so I grit my teeth and bear it.
2) I don't get as wet as quickly. It takes a lot of rubbing or attention for me to be wet enough so that it feels comfortable when he goes to insert. Many times, he will insert when I am dry and that can hurt sometimes but I want him to have what he needs so again, I grit my teeth and bear it.
3) I have tried masterbating while I am alone, and even then, I can't get MYSELF off as quickly as I used to! It's like I have lost sensitivity down there!
4) I also know I use my abs a lot to squeeze and get myself turned on and reach an orgasm. Now, with a growing belly, I can't squeeze those muscles like I used to, makes it hard to get off.
5) I also don't feel AS SEXY with my growing belly. And my breasts have stretch marks now. Ugh.

WHAT DO I DO? How do I get back my sex drive? I understand this could just be from pregnancy, but I still want to be able to please my man! He usually get off anyway, but then I lay there wishing I could feel satisfied as well rather than annoyed!!

Any advice?

**Little** · 09-09-2011 02:23 PM

The hormones will do that to you ... but don't worry, those hormones change as your pregnancy keeps going! This month you may be feeling one way, but next month (or even next week!) it could be different. And when you get to 38+ weeks, you'll just want to go into friggin' labor and you'll have sex like a crazy person trying to induce it, lol

Addressing your points:
1. Then take the time

Listen to your body and try not to get frustrated. Remember that your body is probably a little tired, regardless of how much you're resting.
2. This is probably just the hormones. You mentioned before you want to breastfeed, which will probably make this issue continue past birth. Find a good lube. And certainly don't grit your teeth and bear PAIN

The only person allowed to hurt your vagina is your baby! And only for a limited period of time

3. I went through this too. I was just not getting aroused like I used to. I had to find new ways to "get there." This is perfectly normal! And gives you an excuse to explooooore

4. Same thing as #3 - explore it, girl! My son sat in such a way that my pelvis often went numb :/ Find other positions where you have more control over the muscles you need.
5. You are still soooo sexy. You will miss certain things about being pregnant - the full hair and the clear face. *sigh* I miss those days ... Of course, not every woman gets those great perks, but I did and they were goooood. Definitely worth trading a baby belly for. Go to Spencer's and get one of their maternity shirts that says, "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!" Then tell yourself that every day!

And get your man on board. Tell him that one of the bodily changes you're having is making it more difficult for you to get off - but that you still want to. If he's not on board, you might not get very far off the ground. If he doesn't shape up, have a preggers fit. Those hormones are good for something!

**Seeker_Advice** · 09-09-2011 02:50 PM

A man's perspective...

I agree with Little, especially on those things for which I cannot speak from experience.

What I can speak about is those things with which I have experience:

1. You being "sexy"... You are very sexy!

Especially now to boyfriend. Women "glow" when they are pregnant. They "radiate" a certain "aura" that is hard to describe...believe me it's true.

2. Get your man on board... He has no idea what your body and your mind are going through and like so many other things in life, this
recent development didn't come with an owner's manual. All he sees/hears is what you tell him or talk to him about. So talk to him about it. Tell him it takes you longer...a lot longer to get off, that you need to explore new positions, etc. Get him involved, he will love you even more for it.

Hard as we think we try, men cannot read minds. We need the dots very close together to see a line.

Where women see bumps, bulges and imperfections, the men who love them see nothing but curves!

**SomiticPit** · 09-09-2011 07:47 PM

Yeah, my boyfriend here recently asked me if I was even attracted to him anymore...I was appalled he even thought to bring this up!! Of course I am attracted to him! My thoughts were, "Is he attracted to me?" LOL It's funny how men and women can be on completely different paths. Thanks for your advice guys, on this an other threads I have posted today.

**jns** · 09-10-2011 08:09 AM

With you having a lessening or no sex drive, it is natural that your bf asked if you were attracted to him. It made him unsure and he doesn't know about the hormonal roller coaster that you are on. Don't be appalled or give any hint that he asked a bad question. Such negative feedback will only serve to cut communications in the future. More communication is always better than less.

**SomiticPit** · 09-12-2011 08:04 PM

Good advice jns, thanks. Although, he seems to think he knows the hormonal roller coaster that I am on... he thinks this hormonal roller coaster only applies to my attitude and my emotions. He has a harder time understanding how it affects me sexually. I can say I haven't yet found a good way to explain it.