bf said he was bored through the delivery

**miss.nedra** · 10-24-2011 10:48 AM

is it normal to be extremely hurt from this statement?

**lizzardb63** · 10-24-2011 11:04 AM

Yes, because obviously this is a very exciting and life changing event. You would expect the father to be excited and to be happy when this happens, but perhaps he worded it wrong? But either way...it shouldn't have been said. If I were I'd feel the same way.

**miss.nedra** · 10-24-2011 11:08 AM

he said it a while ago but it keeps replaying through my head, what should i do?

**rosekitten** · 10-24-2011 11:43 AM

Honestly, not all of us are moved deeply by such things. I've seen babies being born, but I wasn't really moved by it. Not everyone has "normal" (expected) emotions. Few of us are willing to admit that. I don't think you should be offended. Does he love the baby, does he care for it? Those are the things that are important, not if he was deeply emotionally moved by the birth.

**Goosey** · 10-24-2011 11:23 PM

I wouldn't be overly hurt by it. I'm not sure hours of waiting is exciting for a guy. But like what was said about, if he cares and loves the baby -- that's what matters. If he is going through the same boredom/disconnect with the child --- I'd be concerned.

**lizzardb63** · 10-25-2011 07:47 AM

If my fiance said that...I would be offended. Maybe not OFFENDED but definitely upset or a little mixed emotions. It's also something you share together and if he was bored I'd feel like he wasn't sharing the moment with me...he was off in his own little world going "Ugh, is this over yet?"...now that is just MY interpretation or how I would feel about it. I don't feel miss.nedra is wrong for feeling what she is, but I guess it's over and as long as he is actively in the baby's life and cares and loves for it, that's all that matters anymore.

**Little** · 10-25-2011 07:56 AM

He wouldn't have been bored if he was busying himself taking care of you during labor. Hellooo, you were in pain and pushing out his baby! How rude could he be to expect to be entertained during it??

**miss.nedra** · 10-25-2011 09:02 AM

he did help me through the labour by holding me up when they wanted me to use the bar. he didn't talk to me though.

**lots1056** · 10-25-2011 11:37 AM

I think that I would be offended. The fact that he felt "bored" seems that he didn't feel the need to take initiative to help you feel a little more comfortable, or just give you support. I know my boyfriend was anxious, nervous, and so excited to meet his child, also worrying about me because of the pain. And whatever feelings you have are normal, because they are your feelings.

**rosekitten** · 10-25-2011 01:04 PM

But... his feelings of boredom are not normal because they are feelings others don't agree with? His feelings are normal, because they are his feelings. Or does it not work both ways? Instead he has to be looked down on? I'm bored most days, even when participating in fun activities. His only mistake was admitting it and being honest, instead of just pretending because he should have "expected" emotions.